Early Fanfic Fan
Member No.: 109
Joined: 15-February 06
Hey everyoneee, I decided to attempt the challenge. Holidays= Lots of time doing nothing! :YESS!:
Anyway, heres my story thingg, hope its not to short/long/anything else :)
The words I had written on the piece of paper in front of me didn’t tell a story, they didn’t even connect with me. They meant nothing. They were useless.
I decided to take a quick, unearned break, so I headed into the garden for inspiration. The sun shone brightly in my eyes, I felt dizzy from sitting practically all day, and blemishes had appeared around my chin again. I sighed, my skin always suffered when I was stressed, but more importantly; so did everyone else around me.
Album making was a long and strenuous process, and whenever the situation arose I always ended up isolating myself from everyone. Nothing I wrote anymore ever seemed to be good enough, or maybe I’m just being my own hardest critic? Sure, my record company likes it, and it manages to sell records, but in the end it doesn’t help me sleep at night. The music isn’t me.
The repetitive ringing of the phone disrupts me from my thoughts and so I quickly go inside to grab it. I can tell its going to ring out soon enough, so I start to increase my speed, tripping on my slippers on the way and narrowly avoiding twisting my ankle.
“Hello?” I gasp.
“Yeah?” I must have sounded agitated, as he took note of my tone.
“Oh, am I interrupting you?”
I sigh. “No, I just had to run to catch the phone”
“Oh ok, then. Look I was wondering if I could come over? I haven’t seen you in days”
I sigh, this time silently. Jack; he was my boyfriend and I loved him, I just don’t think I was in love with him. He seemed to think we were meant for each other, but I think differently. Then again that could be my previously unforseen phobia of commitment doing the thinking for me, and that would not be useful. There is so much clutter in my head at the moment I can hardly breathe, no wonder I can’t write.
“Umm, I guess? Remember I do have an album to write,” I reply with an assertive tone.
“Well there’s always something isn’t there? Always something more important than me”
“You know I don’t mean it like that, it’s just that,” I become subsequently interested in the fruit bowl in front of me.
“That…?” I quickly put back down the orange and concentrate on an annoyed Jack.
“That, well this album has to be finished soon. You will still be there when I’m finished,” Almost immediately I realise how shallow my words had sounded.
“You know what Nina?! Maybe I won’t be there! Maybe I will start treating you the way you treat me!”
“I didn’t mean it like that”
“You use that line way too much. We need to go back to the way we were, Nina. I feel like I don’t know you anymore”
“Come on, you know me better than anyone”
“No, I don’t. Seriously, to me - you’re like an alien”
With that he hung up, and I collapsed on the couch beside me. My life was rapidly becoming a mess, and it was solely my actions that had made it that way. I looked at the picture sitting in a gold plated frame on the coffee table, it was taken under a year ago, but it felt much longer. My thoughts drift back to the time it was taken; it was late October, we had arrived in South Africa for a whirlwind holiday whilst I had a couple of days off from work. Those three days were filled with nothing but laughs, love and happiness. I miss those things.
A single tear runs delicately down my cheek. I rest my head on the arm of the leather couch and close my eyes; all I could hear was the soft occasional moans from Harry, my cocker spaniel.
Eventually I am forced to arise when Harry starts howling for his dinner. The sun was now drifting below the horizon and dusk was settling in; another day gone, another day wasted. I roll my eyes to find that all the dog food has been devoured, and am forced to go into the kitchen to look for something to feed him.
“Cookie Harry? Cookie?” I throw him a plain biscuit down from the cookie jar; he catches it, and then wanders into another place of the house to eat. I decide that should keep him satisfied for a while, and head into my music room.
The piano seat never looked so uninviting, usually sitting down at the piano and letting my fingers wander over the keys could lift any mood, but today was an exception. I sat down anyway and played some melodies.
I wondered what was going to happen with Jack, I wondered what would happen with my music, I wondered where Harry was even. I realised I had stopped playing and my hands now remained idle, and then I buried my face in them.
I was ready to wave my white flag of relinquish at this point
This post has been edited by deltas_kool on Jan 5 2007, 10:42 AM