Quest Beta, the second live quest in Seasides and Sheepies, took place on the evening of 3rd April 2007 at the creator's house in Aylesbury.
1 Players
2 Background
3 The Quest
4 Spy 1: Mingerland
4.1 Seaside King's Notes
4.2 The Group's Actions
5 Spy 2: Puzz 3D Mountains, Nerdland
5.1 Seaside King's Notes
5.2 The Group's Actions
6 Spy 3: Pepsiland
6.1 Seaside King's Notes
6.2 Splodgy's Actions
7 Spy 4: Imperium Romanum
7.1 Seaside King's Notes
7.2 The Group's Actions
8 Spy 5: Back to Nerdland
8.1 Seaside King's Notes
8.2 The Group's Actions
9 Final Boss
10 Additional Notes
10.1 Shopping Opportunity
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Players
Player
Character
Douglas Robinson
Splodgy
Matt Major
Rupert
Henry Robinson
Puff
Alex Vince
Gumpy 2.0
Conagh Laslett
Birian
Fraser Crofts
Omegaf
Jake Laslett
Sid Viscous
Jasmine Gauthier
Qasim
Lydia Heeley
None lol
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Background
Greenpeace is a secret militant cult based on opposing the creator of the world, the Seaside King. They are led by the somehow-still-existant Gumpy 1.0, who has recently come back from the circle of hell specially reserved for people who don’t exist. Bitter against the Seaside King for kicking him so hard over so small a thing, Gumpy allied Greenpeace with the Ducks who with his help almost invaded the world a second time. They would have managed it if it was not for Gumpy 2.0’s newest housing estate, now letting and selling houses on the very site.
But that’s irrelevant.
Important thing is, “the group” managed to kill the sheep leaders of Greenpeace using the power of Arcane and retrieve a list of their spies.
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The Quest
In the interests of getting Greenpeace and the other remainders of Aero on Mingerland’s side in the world war to come, the Badgerking has ordered our heroes to find the five known Greenpeace spies and bring them in, alive, that is without killing them, for questioning. Then, when the whereabouts of their leader is discovered, find and deal with him.
LIST OF GREENPEACE SPIES
1. The one in Mingerland, disguised as a toilet-dwelling rabbit – Simon
2. The one in Pepsiland, disguised as a magnetic pole-dancer – Paula
3. The one in the mountains of Nerdland, disguised as a rock – Anthony
4. The one in IMPERIVM ROMANVM, disguised as a lit candle – Jack
5. The one in Ne
Because the Badgerking is in such a good mood after not being executed by the Tories (which was as much a concern for him as it is for anyone, maybe more so) he decided to have built a nice series of portals to the locations of these people.
<Pause to wait for group to ask how he managed to make portals that go right to where the spies are when all he has is a country and a vague description>
Aha! I was hoping you’d ask that ... The portals are made of Arcane, and Arcane does that.
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SPY 1: MINGERLAND
There was a conflict between, I believe, Sid Viscous and Gumpy 2.0 over which portal to go through first. Jake won the roll, so they did this one first.
Seaside King's Notes
You are in public toilets. They look fairly nasty. They have one of those towels on the rolling pin thing that you get on the continent and it’s always wet and nasty. There is no soap. There are no urinals. At first this makes you think it’s a ladies toilet, but then you remember that most of Mingerland’s inhabitants are geese.
Cubicle 2 has two keyholes
1 – Big animal with ears, stripes and a nose (tiger). Asks what he is. If right he gives a key, if wrong you have to fight him for it.
3 – Anorexic Vampire attacks.
2 – Rabbit in the toilet bowl.
The Group's Actions
Doug went first. I can't really remember what happened, but it ended up with the tall self-harmer attacking Splodgy. Qasim turned his knife into a banana, but did it quite badly, he ate the banana and it still had blade on the inside so the tall man accidentally mutilated his own face. Puff went in the sink and through some pipes, found some tiger meat. Someone tried solving the Sudoku but it had loads of 9s written all over it so it was barely worth doing anything to. Someone pissed off the tiger somehow and it attacked, but Rupert hit it with a sink and took the key so that was okay. No one did anything with the anorexic vampire, but Puff blew open the toilet with some chemicals and they nearly killed the rabbit.
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SPY 2: PUZZ 3D MOUNTAINS, NERDLAND
This was the third portal, but the group decided to do it second. Most of the quitters had gone by this point.
Seaside King's Notes
The Puzz 3D mountain range, for those who don’t remember, is a huge pile of 125,000 sentient cubes, each one exactly one cubic metre. They are all constantly trying to stack themselves into a perfectly tesselating, perfect shape. However, there is one 99cm cube which screws up the whole thing, so the mountains shift around and sometimes violently crash around, making them difficult to cross.
You are inside a perfectly cuboidal dip just deep enough that you can’t get out.
The rock is just above them on one of the cubes and they have to talk it down
The Group's Actions
Puff expanded, became the atmosphere, and set himself on fire, thus setting all the players on fire, especially Rupert. Eventually, Birian did something to get up and got a great dice roll so he caught it. It was like 10 days ago, I can't remember.
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SPY 3: PEPSILAND
This was the second portal, and the group did it third. There was no real turn structure in this as it is more of a puzzle than anything.
Seaside King's Notes
You are in a stripclub. Of the six women pole-dancing, there is one who appears to be having a problem. She is stuck very awkwardly to the pole and doesn’t seem to be able to get off. She’s been this way for five days. How the hell do you solve that?
Splodgy's Actions
Splodgy used the fire the group was still carrying to set fire to the other five pole dancers and draw something like a pentogram on the ground which melted the pole the magnetic dancer was stuck to. He then used the keys from the Mingerland toilets to take her back through the portal. He was finished before anyone else had a turn.
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SPY 4: IMPERIVM ROMANVM
This was the other big encounter, with the map. Saying Candlejack did not affect the game unless a character sai
Seaside King's Notes
In the temple. The Romans had been conducting, as usual, a service of worship to their polytheistic gods of their polytheistic religion, when the Phelps family discovered them and ran in with banners saying things like “Jupiter eats babies” and “fags are gay”. The Romans responded with a brutal attack with swords and that sort of thing and all the refugees who had left Emarica when it fell stormed in and started fighting them.
The group enter when the place is in chaos. There are a number of candles dotted round, all of them apparently being used as weapons by either the Romans or the Emaricans.
The pillars have tied to them:
A key
A sword
A JESUS DIED TO SAVE US FROM FAGS banner
A Latin-Emarican dictionary
A candle holder
The Poké Flute
Group has to break up or win the right fight by solving their differences or winning it for one side or killing them all or something. Bloke tells them to say the name after they wake him up with the Poké Flute.
The Group's Actions
Oh God, I can't remember. Loads of stuff got set on fire and they got the candle.
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SPY 5: BACK TO NERDLAND
This was the final portal to go through.
Seaside King's Notes
They are in a field full of mushrooms. Immediately every single mushroom in the field runs towards them and swamps them shouting ‘PICK ME! I’M THE LAST AGENT! IT’S ME! DON’T LEAVE ME IN THE FIELD! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE BEING A MUSHROOM!’
After brief conversation they admit that the agent is the one over by the fence who isn’t trying to be taken.
The Group's Actions
Fire and stuff I think. Please edit this to make it fuller!
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FINAL BOSS
After long questioning, the Greenpeace spies admit that their leader is with a secret sheep cult dedicated to summoning him. He felt bad after turning out to be the leader of Greenpeace and completely fucking up their storyline, so he went and spent some time with them in Ennuy. When the group enters the new portal made by his portallers, they find themselves in a large natural chamber, and they are standing inside an evil-looking-but-probably-harmless-if-you-read-up-on-the-religion-like-paganism-or-Satanism symbol drawn on the ground. There are several sheep in the chamber, holding uzis. There is a poker table and a television.
Gumpy 1.0 attacks with things like:
Arguing that because he doesn’t exist, you can’t possibly hurt him
Using arcane as his only weapon, building weapons out of it and throwing them. He can do this, as Arcane isn’t really anything, so non-existant people can use it.
He builds walls and a huge cinema complex out of Arcane and it falls down on you.
The way to stop Gumpy is by using logical weapons and thus fighting his logic. He has 7 health, removed one by one by philosophy.
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ADDITIONAL NOTES
==Shopping Opportunity==
The Seaside King grants you each 13 tokens. Unlucky for some...
1T Talcum Powder
4T A cheese sandwich
6T A whistle
11T A pet owl
Splodgy bought 13 talcum powders.
Rupert bought talcum powder, a pet owl and 13,402,377 money printing shares.
Puff bought half a cheese sandwich (much to the shopkeeper's disgust) and a pet owl.
Gumpy 2.0 bought a pet owl.
Birian bought 3 talcum powders, a cheese sandwich, and a whistle.
