The Cat In The Hat

Hey y'all! Welcome to the wonderful world of debauchery! Please enjoy your stay! ::snickers::
-Cleo















more banners coming soon...

Rating: R to NC-17

Content: drug and substance abuse, strong sexual content and or acts, strong adult language, strong violence, and rape

Soundtrack:

Genre: Dark Comedy/Drama

My Bitches:
characters that I have created w/ a few exceptions.
In alphabetical order

Enrique(Rico)Andes
(Flaccid)Amir Asid
Orlando Bloom
Holsie Calgallon
Dylan Carter
Chelsea (& Her Boobs) Declerque
Charles Elaine
Raul Estaban
Autumn Foster
Quiche Maraschino(Cherry)
Dominic Monaghan
Tetsuo Nakamura
Fallon Shelby
Belen Valdizan
Ahn Chaun Veragara
May-Lynn Veragara
Stony Versai
Elijah Wood

character pictures coming soon...

Summary:
Elijah Wood a promiscuous New Yorker, recalls the accounts of his life thus far.

Scandal-meter: Paris Hilton Sex Tape

In The Beginning...

My vision was truly a spectical-and such a quaint sequence of events to be quite honest. And to Fallon's dismay (Oops!) everyone played into my little fantasy and the effect was positively decadent. Blast! That was a bit premature. (The mention of Fallon of course) Oh all right, I suppose I shall do my job as the informative narrative speaker in this chronicle of the past twenty-two years of my existence as will shortly follow, and clarify the enigma that is Fallon Shelby. So, where shall we start? Oh yes! We met at a rave in high school and what a tasteless social soire that was! The brute that threw it all together in what was evidently a little less than a haphazard kind of manner, couldn't even afford to hire a decorator-the design was just ghastly! So unoriginal! A complete emulation of this mundane type grudge chic-that wasn't remarkable in the least when it was in style. Anyway, back to Fallon-so she was this broken type of punker lass, who pretended to have be this lifeless acid jaunted hallucination (Oh can you imagine!) just sort of blah there were so many more atheistic teen junkies just like her. I just happened upon this rave and as I recall cocaine had sadistic dominion over me that night-so forgive me if this tale is distorted my mind is a bit fuzzy at the moment. "More scotch please!"

Fallon had these incredible blood red lips that were just sort of there and looked a bit frayed and chapped-but of course that was the way she liked them. And her hair! I swear you could never see that girls eyes, they where always shaded by that scruffy mass of midnight blue. She was the malicious type, situationally so-in fact I think it was counterfeit but it was such a trend! I'm sure she was a different person entirely behind closed doors-but then I heard from a friend, of a friend, of a girl who once shared a dorm with her in college, that she was a tad bit voyeuristic so then the doors wouldn't be closed then now wouldn't they? Oh why bother? Let's put it this way, the bitch was seriously disturbed. She held partial account of the dealings, but was mostly under the influence of her violent boyfriend (such a pill). I think it came to the point to where she wore heroin scars on her bony arms (how unattractive!) who would want her now? Apparently not her boyfriend oh no, he was on to bigger and better things like the 7-Eleven prostitute with a clubbed foot-yes he was most certainly destined for greatness.

This tragic circumstance broke her of course and she was seen cutting herself with broken glass from a mirror in the girl's bathroom. The Caucasian, drug addled, sex fiend look was seriously dated and Fallon needed to get a clue. So blatantly the humanitarian guy that I am I offered her a hand, which she accepted with her own bloody one. This instance left her jaded which was typical of her type, weak, dependent, yada, yada, yada? She lost all touch with the realm of the real world after this encounter, and became a dingy, seemingly mute, non sequitur. The hag was over, and so completely mad with her own profuse lunacy that she tried her damnest to drag down anyone who came into contact with her. And so naturally I kept my distance, and soon learned to forget about her just as everyone else had (Fallon who?).

To pick up where I left off, oh?what?I dunno? Three? Maybe four paragraphs ago? I threw this fabulous party and all the alliances were there to partake in the merriment. It was spectacular! Sensational! The colours where vibrant, stripes! Polka dots! Even plaid! Dancing on walls, wrapped around couches, hugging the scenery in this entrapment of sheer brilliance. And then that HAG stumbled in, Fallon-fucking-Shelby in all her gloom. She was totally weirding out my entourage MY scene! And suddenly everyone was whispering about her.

"I heard she was pregnant then miscarried, and ate her dead fetus."

"Well, I heard she had abnormal rectal cancer and now she shits out her tits."

"I heard she full on kissed her schnauzer and starred in a bestiality video."

I could have whipped out my dick, stuck it in my ass, and lactated into my anus and NO ONE would have even looked up! Fallon's pitiful performance was clearly more amusing. So what does a guy do in times such as these? Well, I'll tell you! I marched right up to little miss Fallon, and said: "You just feed off of the drama now don't you? To which she replied.

"Fuck, off Wood I had a personal invite from one of your minions." Minions? Honestly who says THAT anymore? "Lovely to see you." And she attempted to turn and leave. To fucking turn her spine protruding back on ME! I didn't stand for it then and I most certainly wouldn't now either!

"You like them looking at you-it makes you important but you aren't important anymore Fallon Shelby. You are fucking swine and worst to everyone else, you are like shit that not even flies would feed on!" Oh you really should have seen her expression after this comment she was livid! Positively exuding negative energy and she was bringing down my natural pertinacity-she HAD to go! "I said leave, and I KNOW you heard me so why don't you fuck off?" She left after that-I mean only a fool would stay after enduring that kind of humiliation in the presence of the social elite. "Goodness!" I exclaimed to Quiche once Fallon had gone. Yes Quiche-as in the food (her parents were hippies). "That girl is positively draining!" I adjusted my signature brown corduroy pimp hat and stalked off in the other direction.

Okay, I know what your thinking--and you're not original I've seen that look before! The epic hasn't yet begun-but give it time I promise it'll be absolutely disreputable! But then that's what you'd expect? Right?

I reread this twice and some things sink in, others don't *confuzzled*

Ahh oh well, I'd be sticking around to see what develops out of this

Hey Chris! I know the story is extremely racy and Elijah is like manic through the whole thing! He'll start to tell a story and then go back and emphasize something, or start telling the readers about something entirely different. It requires full attention! Because he not quite all thurr! But this is the response I wanted tho' the whole confuzzled thing! Its cool that u tried to re-read it to grasp it better but don't feel bad if u still don't understand! And thanky for reading! BTW did you post 'The Euro Trip' FF herre? Cuz I haven't seen it and I wanna read!
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Haha yup I did, it's under Elijah's section, haven't been updating in a while because am on another story at the moment *points at banner in siggie* Wants to write the short story contest for that heh!

And guhhhh, now you've got me hooked. If I don't get it I wouldn't feel stupid (I hope)





p/s: I'm still re-reading Plush Velvet, just not replying until we've caught up. Just so you know

Hey Chris! I checked out ur fic Loving The Dead! Its awesome girl! And for u I have another confusing chapter!
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Chapter Two-Taming The Shrew
"Holy Hefner Elijah!" Shrieked Belin this delectably saucy 'Butter Pecan Puerto Rican' I picked up at 'Route 66 ' the night before.

"The great one." Nodded Quiche referring to our Idol; Hugh Hefner.

"You totally look the part of a 'Happy Days' extra! Totally look the part�" She trailed tossing her copper-toned hair over a narrow shoulder. Fallon agreed mumbling some incoherent nonsquitur from her humbled position in the back of the room to which the three of us shook our heads and then continued our conversation without giving her monotonous being any further acknowledgment. Yes, folks as Elton John so blatantly put it 'The Bitch Is Back' and this time she's here to stay. You see Chelsea & Her Boobs (A nickname she acquired for obvious reasons) is one of my dearest associates and most devoted follower-and Fallon just happens to be her COUSIN! Of course I didn't know this until Chelsea & Her Boobs revealed the horrid secret to me while the two of us where getting Belin off in the hot tub. It was quite a shocking revelation, even more so when the urgency set in as I snorted the last line of Special K I scored from a mate back in England (oh its all the rage).

Consequently, Fallon and I were forced to be civil to each other-or at least for the moment (I'm working in this one). A smile was given in Belin's direction and then a kiss�or was it more of a suckle? Goodness, who can remember? Why do I even bother recalling the accounts of my raunchy adolescence? Oh yes! Now I remember! Because it was interesting-and a little debauched but what isn't these days? The point of the matter is someone is bound to listen, someone like you for instance. So now I will continue, but my pace a haphazard one so pay attention!

"Thank you darling," I proceeded. "That's so sweet of you to say!" And I gave a peck to her cheek. "So what mischief shall we get into this evening?"

"How about we crash that party at 'The Lodge'?" Quiche suggested.

"Oh yes, yes-the one near 'Bendels' on 21st street!" I confirmed swatting at a fruit fly. And so off we went a tad bit underdressed for the occasion but if clothes were to come off any way then what really was the point? So, as I said before we went off to the club, where a fabulous DJ was playing-and where there was a joyous abundance of ecstasy guzzling women to bed with. If I recall correctly Belin was long forgotten after I slipped some acid on my tongue whilst being led by some leggy blonde to a secluded area in the lounge. And from what I could tell Belin was quite content sniffing lines of cocaine off of the bartender's dick so everyone was happy! Regretfully, I must say that I didn't stay on very long, my untimely acid trip complicated things a bit-maybe it was because I swore that 'Smurfs' where taking over my internal organs and causing my spleen converse with my trachea. Which is completely irrational due to the fact that they are in complete different dwellings in my body altogether! Or was the real reason because spleens cannot in fact�talk? Oh bother! The point is that I was completely fucked up, and my playmate left me shortly after (oh don't feel sorry for me we can make up for it later!) Basically, I was left to entertain myself, which of course led to my first hospitalization. Never leave an acid tripper to wood glue, and a lighter (who knew glue was highly flammable?) Needless to say I burned the fuck out of myself and maybe hurt my ego a bit in the process.

I think my admittance to the Cedar Sinai hospital was my first consultation with my mother in about six months (she's a bit estranged you know). She cooed, and fussed over my wounds the way any normal parent would, stole my sympathy money I received from friends and took off (I know, I know it's a tad bit 'Where The Heart Is', but hey shit happens!) now what's a guy to do? Well I'll tell you what I did! I walked my bloody, gown clad, barefoot ass five miles to Chelsea & Her Boob's house only to find that her 'breastestness' wasn't around�just�Fallon my evil mimeses (We hates her! We hates her!). Blast, foiled again! But no matter, despite my deep abhor for Fallon I tolerated her-I didn't even mind all that much when she went down on me. Don't get me wrong! I still hated the bitch! Oh she was such a dreadful wretch�but-she did give good head so�I guessed that I might stay a little longer! Too bad I didn't know at the time that by doing so I was just taking the bait-but enough of this synopsis the real plot would come later!
Until Next Time�

Me =

*pats ownself*

LOL thanks anyway

Heh, sure no prob!
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Maybe I should change the title 2 'The Cat In The Pimp Hat'...?
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Lol, I'm confused too...

But this is really interesting...insane but very interesting. It's very visually descriptive but totally skewed and off the wall at the same time. I like and don't need to be un-confused to enjoy.

Keep it up...lol...

A bit confusing...
But that's what I love about it!

And this Fallon chick freaks me out, but she's funky!
I'm weird... It's not my fault...

Post more soon, sugar pie!
I'll be reading your stories, as always...

Yay! Peepz r actually readin this! I thought the tone wuz to off da wall for n e one to clearly understand, but the point is...ur not sposed 2! Thankz for readin y'all!
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Chapter Three-Lani & Me

Fallon and I had stayed on for a little longer than a month�a month of civility mind you�and maybe just a little something else . And it just so came about one day while I was a sipping on Smirnoff and bumming a fag that this tiny blonde just sort of happened upon my doorstep. She was about 5'2, hazel eyed, flat chested, and full lipped. She wore a fur coat about her microscopic frame and it was clear that there was nothing underneath. "Dylan." She said in this itty-bitty voice, and then she took my cigarette, puffed on it and blew a stream of smoke into my face. "And you are?" She quizzed as if she didn't already know.

"Way, too old for you." I answered with a smirk taking back my smoke and grinding it into the pavement as I stood up.

"My friends call me Lani." She rushed attempting to keep me from going inside. "But you can call me anything you want." I grinned slipping my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh really?" I replied leaning on the railing of my stoop. "What is it that you think you know? Dylan " Her smiled faded and she sighed regaining her composure.

"I know that�" She trailed biting her lip. "I know-that you service half the hoes in this building!" She remembered with such an elementary chortle.

"Service?" I repeated. "I think what you know is pretty obvious�honey, everybody knows that. Even the bloody landlady in fact she's been 'serviced'," I quoted with my fingers. "A few times herself. How do you think a junkie like me lives in such a swank address?" (It was Upper East Side New York!) Poor lowly Dylan could do nothing but shrug her narrow little shoulders, which inevitably caused her jacket to slide down exposing the fleshy pink of her chest. "Let me tell you something babe," I began watching the cars whiz by on the streets down yonder. "I'm a fucking predator and you're not my game-so," I continued easing up the steps. "Nice meeting you-and goodnight." I saluted her turning away from the biting cold, and her puzzled expression.

"Elijah fucking Wood right?" Dylan screamed which was a lot for her and I turned around half past pissed. "How could you?" She went on strutting her pale legs up the steps. "What am I not young enough for you? Fourteen is like middle aged to you?"

"Jesus, lower your voice! I shushed putting my hand over her mouth.

"Don't touch me you monster!" She pulled away. "Whose the twelve-year-old your fucking? Why can't I EVER LIVE UP TO YOUR OUTRAGEOUS DEMANDS?" So you can only guess what happened next right?

"Okay, fuck come in-you won!" I grabbed her by her arm and pulled her inside. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled once the two of us had left the halls in a little less than inconspicuously. As if the price of my head on a stake wasn't worth enough to my fellow tenants.

"Look, I'll make it really simple." Replied Dylan to my surprise. "I got something you want," She flirted unbuttoning her jacket which was really rather pathetic in my opinion. "And you've got something I want." Her hand reached for the crotch of my jeans, I looked at her with such a fetching snarl that she smiled back-undaunted unphazed.

"If you're going to be a whore," I began removing her hand. "Than do it right." Dylan nodded putting on her best 'big girl' front, oh you really should have seen her just as terrified and myopic then anything I had ever seen! "Look at me." I took both her palms to mine-it wasn't a tender gesture I swear! I simply didn't want any hands on distraction while I was trying to make my point. "Look at me like you hate me," Dylan shot me her best pair of bedroom eyes. "No, try again." That time she succeeded. "Good, now imagine me naked." There just something about that word that makes everyone that hears it laugh. "You're not ready." I answered firmly setting loose her hands. "You're gaze wasn't even moderately endearing and you are way too young to understand the proper meaning." Dylan shook her pretty blonde head. "What are you running from Dylan? And who referred you to me?"

"What?" She questioned tripping over her stilettos.

"I have many spies you know, my underlings are set loose on society all the time and think you just might have crossed ones path." I grinned but this time she didn't reciprocate she just stared. Nobody spoke for a long while and I sighed at the utter absurdity of this situation!

"Well I," Dylan began timidly. "I did meet this one girl." I nodded taking a seat on the couch as I took off my 'Steve Maddens' she followed me back to my room when I went to put them away. But that was very predictable; the child was like a bloody puppy-she just couldn't seem to leave me alone!

"Elaborate," I demanded pulling my T-shirt over my head. "What did she look like?" Truth be told I was getting irritated.

"Um�" She sighed watching me replace the shirt with a new one, and then my pants. "She was like 5'4, Asian looking, had long black hair?" I tucked the pockets of my P.J pants into place, which was amusing to her.

"Ah!" I pointed pulling the sheets back on my bed. "May-Lynn!" Dylan nodded.

"Yeah! That's the one!" She exclaimed. "And who said I was running from something?" I raised my eyebrows to this, girls like Dylan where always running from something. Why else would she be this persistent? "Okay so me and my mom have this like constant conflict but its serious I�swear! I spent three years in 'Juvi' because I tried to kill her." I shrugged nonchalantly it was just so mundane! What teenager didn't attempt to murder their parents? And Dylan here had only attempted to murder her mother (Big deal!) an entire family isn't even mildly depraved in my opinion. Hmm, maybe incest would spark more of a fuse in my mind but not likely I've been exposed to far too much over the years.

"What did you do exactly?" I quizzed lying back on the comforter. "And this had better be good."

"I put 'Drain-O' in her cornflakes�didn't work though, I guess the taste threw her off." Ya think?

"Drain-O? How inspired? But you do know, that if she had in fact died that the forensic lab would have traced Monoethanalamine back to you because you'd have to be finger printed and the substance turns the ink red. Oh and you can't wash it off either, its neothermic so it embeds itself in your pores." Dylan stared dumbfounded. "What? That's elementary hun, everyone knows that!"

"No way!" Dylan rushed over to my bedside and sat down in my lap. "Who have you tried to kill?" Her brown eyes shone in wonder (She was such a child!).

"Namely? Myself, but it didn't work though." I grinned, turned out the light and pushed her out of my lap. "You, couch." I pointed into the other room, and that was that.

?'s
Elijah+Lani=?

Ooooo...lol, Drain-O...

Still lovin' this Cleo...

Confused, but happy.

Off the wall is fun, especially because msot people don't do it. Major props to Cleo for being able to confuse...on purpose.

Dude! U killed me wit that line just now!
Hehe...

LOL
And I don't like this Lani chick...

So Elijah is like a pimp then...? I can't imagine that...

Great chappie, sugar pie!
Post more soon!

I dun think i like Lani either! Doz that sound funny coming from me? Well n e wayz Elijah isn't a pimp per say just a bit of a nympho...
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Da story rock socks Cleo!!! Major props on puttin Lij on da 'pimp' wagon!! I'd love II see him as a P-I-M-P!!

Lani... such a baby... eck.. i dont lyk her either... iono jus sumthyn i jus dont lyk bout day character!!

Dayum... hate da gurl but still gets it frum her.... jeez wat a Mister Pimp!!



Oh yeah... major props on da avvie... Pucca rocks socks!!

Asta la Pasta

MissY

You know about Pucca! How cool!
-Cleo a.k.a Elijah's Sex Kitten

Hey all,
I have returned (hold your applause). Hehe jus playin, n e wayz sorrie for the wait, I was waiting for inspiration and than BAM it bit me right in the arse! Hehe.
-Cleo

Chapter Four-Decisions

By now I’ve reached the realization that Dylan is much more difficult to elude than I had thought initially. Or at least this is what I suspected during the time of our fling (I swear it was nothing more!) I had no desire to pursue a longtime escapade, as I normally don’t, you see I tire easily, and a woman can only suffice for so long. But the point my fellow readers, is that her pertinacity was unmatched and I had one of two options:

1.Fuck Dylan
2.Make Dylan kick rocks

Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions.

The answer you see was not as it seemed, each option appeared more alluring than the other (Please don’t laugh.). I was utterly perplexed. So I called upon my most beloved conspirator, Chelsea & Her Boobs. “I’ve met this Dylan?” She questioned scratching at her adorable freckles with a feline nail. I grimaced having inhaled a bag of heroin (dreadful stuff!) before making my reply.

“Hrmm? Why yes! I suppose you have!” I scratched at the stubble on my chin. “No, no that was Jolie. Damn, striking resemblance eh?” Chelsea nodded tapping at a purple vein obtruding her freckled forearm (They’re everywhere ).

“What’s the sit. with this one Lij?” I rubbed my eyelids about in circles, as she proceeded to rubber band herself.

“Whatever do you mean? What’s the sit. with all of them?” I snapped watching as she promoted her own self-destruction by injecting a with out a doubt-contaminated hypodermic into her swollen purple vein.

“The sexual aspect of course.” She breathed falling back on the steps of my apartment complex.

“That’s the constant in my life Chelse,” I muttered watching the cars of Upper East Side New York whiz by. Only now do I realize what a contradiction it is to be sitting on the stoop of an apartment complex in Upper East Side New York doing smack. “But to my own astonish we have yet to make it past 1st base-I haven’t necessarily sought too—is that not odd?” Poor, sweet little Chelsea could scarcely nod her drugged out head. “Babe, your drooling perhaps we should make our way inside.” I plucked the still inserted needle from her blackened arm and took her bag.

Sometime after this occurrence, and maybe a little while subsequent to Chelsea thoroughly passed out on my sofa, Dylan returned from a rave somewhere on the west side. Her Strawberry Blonde locks were frazzled, and damp, her body much the same. Liquored up and dressed down she lay incoherent on my bed. Now what’s a guy to do? I stood conflicted watching as she knocked her bony knees together flashing her lacy pink underwear. “Dylan, hun…can you stand?” Dylan shrugged her narrow shoulders chuckling at my request. I grasped both her frail arms and pulled her forward, to which she responded by falling helplessly over my shoulder. This child was an absolute mess, but somehow my mess. My half naked, non-sequitor slurring, fourteen year-old mess. “Ah, Jesus, I’m really having a some ethical issues about now.” I groaned carrying Dylan into the other room to the couch. Oh yes, did I forget! Must have slipped my pedophilic little mind! Chelsea was on my couch! Now, now where does this one go? I thought to myself. Well perhaps she could bunk with me; yes this could be a possibility. No! No, I shouldn’t! I can’t! By then Dylan was getting a trifle heavy, and my period of deliberation had tragically come to an end. So…. I plopped her right back down on my bed. “Fuck,” I rubbed my wearied eyes. “How bout a Valium and lets call it a night?” I spoke to myself, which doesn’t seem at all healthy now that I recall. I know what your thinking “Get to the point Elijah!” And I most certainly will. Now, I didn’t take advantage of her state and that is the honest to God truth. Instead I took a field trip to my balcony, smoked a much-needed joint, tipped my signature ‘Pimp Hat’ at an unconscious Chelsea, and was off to bed. I supposed at the time that Dylan could kick rocks in the morning.

A Message From The Author

The word sit. is an abbreviation for situation, in case n e one was wondering.

This has been a message from the author.

your official stalker has finally got her slow ass around here. and her slow ass has decided that you are officially more of a genius than her slow ass thought in the first place. Which is a big deal.

CLEOOOOOO!! awesomeness darling!! i LOVE it when you make Elijah a fucked up asshole *Coughplushvelvetcough*. I must admit, I get kind of confused, but its a good kind of confused!!!

And you definately should post more soon. because this is like... awesomeness. as usual. *hugs cleo*

so, post more craziness soon!!!

I am so feelin' the love right now! Man that wuz such a compliment! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! You are a truly awesome person, and i will be catchin up wit ur story. I kno' I've been a bad reader--but i've been soo buseh! Okai, ima goin! Thanks again gurl! BTW I sha'll post 2morrow.
-Cleo

*hugs* no problem girl. i know how ya feel.

but i gotta go. town. fun. not.

ha.

love you loads!!

Okai, i am back with a nu chap! & I apologize because its a short one. But another will be on the way--hopefully next week (y'all kno' how I am!) You may have to re-read the last chap to refresh ur memories...
-Cleo

This is for Heidi!

Chapter Five-Vomit & Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Vomit and chocolate chip pancakes.

Who would have thought that I would be cleaning up a mess such as this at eight o’clock in the morning? Shall I elaborate? Well, Dylan who bedded with me previously was utterly and completely hung over the following morning thus the vomit. Oh and it came up in pools! Disgusting, but made for quite an easy clean up (thank God for bamboo slatted paneling!) Chelsea (& her boobs) who had quite a lovely heroin binge was stark raving mad the day after, and was going on about chocolate chip pancakes—insisting that I listen even as I was catching the river of vomit spewing from Dylan’s open mouth (her rambling did not cease!). Finally, I had to bid her to the kitchen so that she would make the fucking chocolate chip pancakes and stop going about them! Apparently, her motor skills where lacking that morning and she got pancake batter all over the walls, on the counter, and the floor as well.

However, I did not take notice for I was in the bathroom holding Dylan’s hair as she leaned over the toilet. Minutes later Chelsea (& her boobs) returned with a steaming plate piled with chocolate chip pancakes. “Chelse, I love you to death—but darling could your timing be any worse?” Dylan slumped against the side of my bathtub and so an idea arose.

“Come sit at the table with me Elijah.” Chelsea (& her boobs) offered sweetly with a crooked smile.

“Not now, Chelse, I’ve got to get Dylan in the bathtub.” To which Chelsea responded with a prolonged groan. “Dylan,” I patted her ashen cheek. “Dylan, take off your clothes love I’m putting you in the tub.” Dylan’s eyes fluttered open and she began to undo her bra and being the respectful young man that I was I turned away (I swear I did!). My hand fondled the knobs for the faucet and I ran the water—Dylan caught my hand. “None of that.” I groaned pushing her frail form away. “Just get it in!” I demanded stepping back, she sighed frustratingly continuing to undress. I poured some bubbles in maneuvering around her my hand over my eyes (I needed no further temptation).

“ELIJAH!” Chelsea (& her boobs) hollered from the kitchen. “YOUR PANCAKES ARE GETTING COLD! LEAVE DYLAN AND COME EAT!” That was quite rightly the morning from hell. I turned back towards Dylan who had just climbed into the bathtub (which was now overflowing). I fumbled with the knobs to stop the running water, as Dylan went under. I couldn’t see her beneath all the bubbles, and I assumed the worst.

“Dylan?” I called scraping the bubbles away to reveal the clear tap. “Quit fucking around, the last thing I need is a dead fourteen year old in my bathtub!” Still I received no response, so I reached for her. Suddenly in an explosion of water and suds she sprang pulling me entirely in. The water sloshed over the sides of the tub, and unto the Italian marble (which I had just mopped). Dylan pressed her naked body against my clothed one, forcefully pulling down my boxers until they floated on the surface of the water. Her lips met mine in a feverish kiss, her hands working up and down my chest.

“God damnit Elijah! Why didn’t you tell me you were busy ?” Chelsea cursed standing in the doorway of the bathroom. She sighed before closing the door muttering bitterly to herself and returning to the other room. Dylan had successfully removed my shirt, and I then sat completely naked with her in a pool of bubbly water. She grinned against my lips so close to her motive…but not quite. I positioned myself over her my bedroom eyes boring into her own fiercely (oh you should have see them!). & Dylan cowered—she completely fell apart.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” I questioned my erection pressed against her bony hip; she stared back at me hurtfully. A look of complete and utter shock—a slap couldn’t provoke such a glance! She writhed beneath my weight licking the beads of water off her full lips. “This is it babe, this is what I do.” I gnawed her bottom lip. “Do you want me to stop?” I whispered lowly in her petite ear, my hand at the small of her back.

“No,” She answered unsurely forcing her eyes away from mine. I backed off, sitting in the opposing corner of the tub my arms resting at the sides. “Yeah—I mean yes.” She answered with a nod (could you see it coming?); I scratched my chin, watching as she sat teary eyed her knees pressed against her flattened chest. I climbed out of the bathtub and walked naked to the door and that was that I vacated the room.

haha!! YAY!!!! *hugs*

Hey. Elijah's cool. He's a fuckhead but he's cool. hehe.. and dylan's a little screwed up to be 14, isnt she?

hehehehehe!!

and you know what gets me everytime? Is Chelsea & her boobs. That is hilarious man. You're brilliant.

now. you know what i want, right? Elijah naked in the tub *cough* More chapterness!!!!! now, dont rush your pretty little self but.... HURRY THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

hehe. lovin it! (badababa!)

Hahaha! Girl you know u crazy! Heh, yeah I've found my muse! Yes, its wonderful and so this story will be updated very shortly. I love Dylan's character, or how she's beginning to unfold. She's fourteen and wants to come off as older--experienced if you will but is still a virgin. She thinks she wants to loose it (to Elijah obviously) but gets overwhelmed in the end and backs out. So in a lot of ways she's just a child who isn't ready for things such as that just yet. Chelsea and her boobs was derived from a friend of mine. People would say "There goes Chelsea...and her boobs!" thusly, Chelsea & Her Boobs was spawned from my imagination(mostly). Chelse, is Elijah's bestest friend (the only chick in the story whom he doesn't fuck). She'll most likely be in every chapter, unless of course she's gone on a drug run.

So yeah, there's that. I love writing this story! I can be wild, perverted, disturbing, and completely outrageous. Nothing is too extreme! Okai I'm gonna go--but expect a new chapter sometime either thursday or friday night--possibly saturday...I will try my hardest!
luv ya!
-Cleo