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:Current Danger Zone Card: :UWF Stars On Twitter: :Champions:
Hardcore Championship Match:
Serena (c) vs. Kent Brier

Intercontinental Championship Match:
Christopher Spade (c) vs. Elliott Siscoe

Universal Championship Match:
Andy Titsuhiro vs. Dark Shadow

Plus:
Much More!

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UWF Universal Champion:
Vacant

UWF Intercontinental Champion:
Christopher Spade

UWF Hardcore Champion:
Serena

UWF United States Champion:
Conrad Black

UWF Tag Team Champions:
Blondetourage (Serena & Zoey Swan)

Mr. Money In The Bank:
Conrad Black

UWF Overload! Champion:
Erica Rose

UWF TelevisioNet Champion:
Mercedes



 

 Blogging is for the gays and Team Edward..., ...unless I'm doing it, then it's cool!
The Eli Keaton
Posted: Mar 19 2010, 09:14 AM


Unregistered









I don't need your sympathy.....I don't want your god protecting me. I don't want your empathy.....I don't need your savior saving me.

Simple, straight and right to the point is it not? I mean, I certainly think it is. If I wanted anything from anyone, I'd either ask or.....wait, lemmie rephrase because I don't do "ask". If I wanted anything from anyone I'd just go out and take it. So what does that make me? Well there's a laundry list of things I've been called, and so far, I really can't dispute a single one of them.

I AM an asshole. I AM obnoxious. I AM demanding. I AM pushy. Everything you think that I am, chances are I really am. Was I the one nailing your mother 6 ways from Sunday while you were at the Chess Club Tournament? Probably. Does that make me a bad man? You damn well better believe it does. I am a bad man and I relish in every minute of it.

I know I'm going to hell, I got my ticket stamped a long time ago, but that doesn't stop me from doing things that people would call "immoral" or "crude" or even my favorite..."offensive". I'm the guy that prank calls the Jerry's Kids telethon or hangs out in the stands heckling every little crippled retarded kid he brings out on stage like Philadelphia sports fans.

"Boooooooo......screw you kid......take your little two wheeler cripple chair and go drive your ass home! Jerry Lewis can't save you, neither can his telethon." Christ, you think I'm above making some little invilid cripple in a tardo chair with a neckbrace to stabilize his 47 pound head on his shoulders cry?

Those are nitwit and botard problems, not mine. I have no compassion for the less than fortunate people of the world. Born a midget (that's right, I said midget.....fuck being politically correct.....that shit's for mormons)? It's because your mommy smoked too much rock while you were floating around in that cesspool your mother called a womb.

You ever watch Jerry's Kids telethon? Oh man, great stuff! You really can't tell half the time what's wrong with these kids. It's like "is that kid doing the 1985 robot.....or is that just epilepsy?"

*kid falls off stage*

"Yep.....epilepsy."

On second thought......maybe someone should be praying for me......naaaa, fuck y'all, I need your prayers like I need Steve Guttenberg and Tom Selleck to make me the meat in their overaged man sandwich.

Until next time losers and lose-ettes

-Eli Keaton..........bitches
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Andy Titsuhiro
Posted: Mar 19 2010, 10:28 AM


A good pair of tits never fades


Group: Wrestler
Posts: 13,592
Member No.: 1,163
Joined: 27-August 09



Wow long time no see Eli we Missed u!!

Long live the king of mean himself.. ELi KEATON!!!


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Television Champion X1
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The Legend Lives On

WWA, WWA version 2, RW, WWC/Bliss, and CW Acomplishments
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user posted image faction that took over WWA version 2
user posted image most dominant faction of WWC/Bliss
Number one contender for the U.S. title (match never happend due to the fed closing)

UWF Accomplishments
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Television Champion X1
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user posted image along with Hitman
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Most overall title reigns in UWF history
SECOND shortest Universal Title reign ever (45 minutes)
Undefeated while holding the UWF Title (Nov 10th - Dec 31st)
Most Tag Team Title reigns: Jesty (x3), Eli Keaton (x1), Ravenhawk (x1), Erica (x1), King's Court (x1), Main Attraction (x2), Toxic Angel (x1), Revolution (x1) and Ricky (x1)
Part of the only tag team to win the tag titles three times in a row with the same partner (Jesty)
SPJW 2009 Zero G Tag Team Tournament Champion with Bucky
Reversed the original Primetime Curse for 3 months straight
2006 UWF Adrenaline #1 draft pick
Adrenaline Gold Rush 2009 Match of the Week Winner
2009 Lethal Beatings Match of the Week rp/result Winner (Tits vs. Havoc)
Wrestler of the Week (Jan 11th - Jan 18th)
Promo Title of the Week Winner for April 19th (Personal Time With Your Tits)
Match of the Winner Winner for April 19th (BrAndy vs. Vindictive Sex)
2012 Tag Team of the Year (with GM-Pire
Part of 2012 Pay Per View of the Year (British Massacre)
2012 Television Champion of the Year
Part of 2012 Match of the Year (SOTS)
Worst SOTS record in UWF history (1* - 5)
Member of GX, NDX, Havoc Inc, T&A, King's Court, The Main Attraction, and the Divine Congregation
Spammer of the Decade

NEW Accomplishments
1. NEW Tag Team Champions x2 (Current)
2. Number 9 in The Hot 10 post Fear Itself
3. Number 4 in The Hot 10 Secret Santa 2: Christmas Boogaloo Show
4. Voted 2012 Tag Team of the Year
5. Longest NEW Tag Team Champions
6. Second longest NEW title reign (203 days)

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Game Geek of the week

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