A Second Home, Lilah

[Alistair Ryder]

Ryder wasn't surprised when her face turned a darker shade of red, it was pretty obvious that she wasn't used to attention from people in a nice way, and probably least of all from guys. But he'd change that, no one deserved to be bullied with and he'd teach her to stand up against people like that guy, starting with being her friend.

Taking the lead to Paramount, he let her grab a few books on the way out. When they arrived he order just a regular coffee and let Lilah order whatever she wanted before paying and taking her to a table where they sat down.

"How come that guy was being such a bitch back there?" He asked, really wanting to help her not have people treat her like shit anymore.

[Lilah Wilkins]

"How come that guy was being such a bitch back there?"

Lilah looked up, surprised that he was this far on her side. Just like Annie. Wow, how would she ever repay his kindness? She'd have to be one hundred percent loyal to him, and she'd definitely always be there for him, if she could. She'd try her darndest, that was for sure.

"Oh, I don't know..." She murmured quietly, uncomfortable with all the attention. She hadn't had this much attention since she was sixteen. It was so long ago, it had been so long since she'd had a friend. "He's just... he's always been like that. In fact, what you saw in the library was quite mild compared to what he usually does when he finds me. He's been after me since we were kids."

She couldn't stop now. She didn't want to be revealing so much, but she couldn't stop talking, no matter how hard she tried. She was terrified, and yet, she felt safe again. "Many times he's not only beaten me, but he's hurt me with knives, too. I think he has some kind of fetish. One time, after a particularly brutal beating," Shut up, shut up! She knew what was coming, but she couldn't stop it from slipping out. "He raped me, over and over. He tied me up so I couldn't get away. I don't know how many times he did it, I lost count after five."

She slapped her hands over her mouth and looked at him with wide eyes. Why hadn't she been able to keep her trap shut? Oh no... Duncan had told her that if she ever told anyone, he'd do it again, but make it worse for her. That had been the worst day of her life. He had done it because he knew how weak she was at the time. The day Annie died is the day he made the worst attack on her.

She looked down, tears threatening to fall. She was so ashamed... Why had she told him that?

[Alistair Ryder]

Ryder listened to her when she started talking about how that guy had always been mean to her and how he hurt her with knives as well. She deserved so much better than how people had been treating her. No way he'd let people keep treating her badly, even if it took time and a complete make-over, she'd get the respect she ought to have.

He was shocked to say the least when she told him he'd raped her. It was all so sad, and when she was done talking and looked down, he hugged her. "I'm sorry," he said, clueless on how to really react to any of this. "Listen to me... You're safe from him now," he ended up saying, letting go of her and smiling slightly at her.

The perfect idea on how to make people respect her was slowly forming in the back of his head, and he figured he might as well share it with her, or some of it anyway. "Tell me, do you play any instruments?"

[Lilah Wilkins]

"I'm sorry," At first, Lilah stiffened in the embrace. "Listen to me... You're safe from him now," She relaxed, believing him. When he pulled away and smiled softly at her, she couldn't help but return a sheepish smile. "Thank you," She whispered gratefully.

"Tell me," She gave him her rapt attention. Anything he wanted to know, she'd tell him. He was so kind to her... "Do you play any instruments?"

Her face reddened yet again. She could only hope he wouldn't be impressed like Annie had been. And she had learned more since then, too, when she was trying to forget the image of her best friend's body, mauled and rotting. "I, um... Yeah..." She started shyly.

When he looked at her expectantly, she blushed harder, averting her eyes. "I, I mean I..." She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and lowered her voice. "I play guitar, bass guitar, keyboard, flute, clarinet, saxophone, and timpani." She was so embarrassed. That was too many, wasn't it? A humiliatingly high number. Why do I feel so self-conscious?! Usually, she didn't care what people thought, as long as they didn't injure her. So why did it suddenly matter?

[Alistair Ryder]

Feeling her relax made him feel like he'd accomplished something. "No problem," he replied. If it was one thing she deserved, it was a friend who was there for her, which was what he'd decided to be from now on.

"I, um... Yeah... I, I mean I..." She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and lowered her voice. "I play guitar, bass guitar, keyboard, flute, clarinet, saxophone, and timpani." he was impressed to say the least, that was way better than he'd expected, then again he knew better than judge by appearance.

"Great, welcome to the band," he said with a grin. "Trust me, there's no better way to earn people's respect and make friends." Sure, she probably wasn't the social type to do it, but he hadn't either when he first started, but he'd grown into one and now he loved being on a stage and playing. "You decide what you want to play." She wasn't backing out on this.

[Lilah Wilkins]

"Great, welcome to the band," Lilah's eyes widened and her face paled. She was shocked. He was in a band? And now he was drafting her? Oh no, this wouldn't do. She had just met him! He was going to make her meet other people!

"Trust me, there's no better way to earn people's respect and make friends. You decide what you want to play."

But that would mean she'd have to get on stage, and there would be so many people... Lilah's world was slowly fading. Black spots appeared in her vision. She realized she wasn't breathing. She took a big gulp of air -- but nothing happened. She was hyperventilating; having a panic attack. Frantically, she grabbed at her inhaler and took big puffs of the medicine, desperate for air.

Once she could breathe again, she stared openly at her friend. He actually expected her to do this! In a very unladylike manner, she chugged down her drink (herbal tea), trying to calm herself. The knuckles on her hand were slowly turning white, she was clutching her inhaler so hard. Her whole body was shaking nervously. There was no way she'd be able to do what he wanted her to!

"R-Ryder," She took another assisted breath, courtesy her inhaler, just to be on the safe side. "I, I don't think I can..." She couldn't even finish. She let slip another nervous squeak before forcing herself to explain why she was so terrified. "All those people..." She closed her eyes and shook her head, her messy and tangled red hair falling into her eyes (technically, over her glasses) with the movement.

[Alistair Ryder]

It was obvious that she wasn't too comfortable with the idea of being in a band, in face she was freaking out quite a lot. "Hey, it's ok," he said when the girl started hyperventilating. It wasn't good at all, this obviously wasn't the right time to bring this up. "Calm down, Lils."

When he noticed her knuckles turning white, he regretted asking this of her already. "You know, you wouldn't have to be in the front at all. I wouldn't make you do something you can't do, but I know you can do this." He had faith in her.

Smiling slightly, he removed her hair from in front of her glasses. "We'll take it slow, you wouldn't have to do performances before you know the people of the band."

[Lilah Wilkins]

"You know, you wouldn't have to be in the front at all. I wouldn't make you do something you can't do, but I know you can do this."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She really didn't want to do this, but she owed him... Let's see... What instrument can I hide behind? There wasn't much to work with, but she did have some electronic synchronizers (though they were a bit degraded and bootleg, but she made them work just fine). Maybe she could hook those up to her keyboard, and then she could hide behind those.

She jumped when he touched her, her first thoughts being that he was going to hurt her. But then she pushed herself back into reality, and realized that this guy was her friend; he wasn't going to harm her. Lilah blinked as he carefully moved her hair from her eyes. It was such a kind and gentle gesture, and she wasn't used to it at all.

"We'll take it slow, you wouldn't have to do performances before you know the people of the band."

To be completely honest, she didn't plan on ever getting to know other people. She just needed one friend; that was plenty for her. She didn't need a bunch of people around her, she didn't need to know lots of people; one would suffice. After all, she was terrified of people.

"Okay," She whispered feebly. She'd do this, for Ryder. "I can synchronize rhythms and sounds, and I guess I'll do that while playing the keyboard... Is that okay?" She didn't want to be too assertive.

[Alistair Ryder]

Ryder could tell she was thinking about it, considering, she was kind of cute when she did that. In her own way. It seemed he crossed a line when he moved the hair from her eyes, as she had jumped a little at first, but she seemed to calm down soon enough and let him do it. He wasn't going to hurt her, so it was nice of her to let him try to be a little nice towards her.

"Okay," She whispered feebly. She'd do this, for Ryder. "I can synchronize rhythms and sounds, and I guess I'll do that while playing the keyboard... Is that okay?"

He couldn't help but smile a little. "Of course it's OK, I told you to pick an instrument and pick you did. Besides, it would be cool both with a girl in the band and a keyboard," he let out a friendly laugh.

{Sorry.. haven't posted in 7 weeks now, anywhere...}

[Lilah Wilkins]

"Of course it's okay, I told you to pick an instrument and pick you did."

Lilah, of course, blushed at the approval he had given her.

"Besides, it would be cool both with a girl in the band and a keyboard,"

Her blush faded and her face paled. She started shaking, but, thanks to her trusty inhaler, she could still breathe. Okay, it was bad enough that she was now in a band, but with a bunch of guys? She didn't think she could handle it. "I, I..." She spluttered out nervously, trying to get her mouth and vocal cords to work, "G-guys? All o-of them?" She squeezed her eyes shut and tried as hard as she could to find a way out of this. She couldn't come up with anything. "Do, do I have to?"

She felt so childish.




{It's no prob, I'm just glad you're okay.}

[Alistair Ryder]

Ryder just smiled at her blushing, it was kind of cute actually. How her face paled was not that cute, it seemed she had trouble breathing. It seemed to be quite the shock to be in a band with guys only. And his thoughts seemed to be confirmed by her nervous stuttering. "G-guys? All o-of them?"

"Afraid so, Lilah, but they are all nice guys that wont attempt to harm you in any way." He had a feeling he wasn't helping a whole lot. "Do, do I have to?" No, he wasn't helping too much... "Lilah, most of the guys in the band are.. well, pretty much like me, we a lot alike all of us, common interests, and trust me when I say they will think of you like a sister and take care of you as such." He hoped that helped a little.

{Well, still in and out of the hospital, more in than out, but I'm not dying}

[Lilah Wilkins]

"Lilah, most of the guys in the band are.. well, pretty much like me, we a lot alike all of us, common interests, and trust me when I say they will think of you like a sister and take care of you as such."

To be honest, that did nothing to calm her down. Well, it did a little bit, but she was still terrified. The only experience she'd had with guys was Duncan and his group of bullies. Annie was the only girl that treated her normally. What confused her, though, was that some of the girls that got on her told her that it was because of her style. She never really understood how that could possibly make any sense.

C'mon, Lilah, he's waiting for an answer.

She trusted him, she really did, but this was a huge step for her. But did she really want to get out of where she was? What was wrong with it? Well, aside from the severe lack of friends, the recent appearance of Duncan with no Annie, no Annie, and the reclusive lifestyle with no one to talk to but the librarian who was less-than-friendly. Okay, she wanted to change. Not completely, but just a little bit. Enough to have a friend or two, and, hopefully (and a bit selfishly) get some protection along the way.

It's been a while since you said anything, dork.

"O-oh!" She was just trying to fill in the silence now, before she thought of a good answer. "Um, er..." What was her answer? Could she? Would she? "...Okay."