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| Year Seven and Still Flyin'! Thank You, Everyone! |
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Vacation Time, Check if you are waiting for posts!
| Taokan |
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The Tao
    
Group: BDV Moderators
Posts: 130
Member No.: 151
Joined: 11-September 06

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Hello, again, everyone. I apologize --again-- for both my absense and lack of contact. This particular song and dance must have started getting titing the first time it happened, for a much shorter time, and I felt you all deserved an explanation for my behavior. So. The closing months of the year were not easy, for many reasons, but come down to the piling up up stresses in my personal life.
To digress a but... Almost since I started writing here, the BDV has been my place, the 'X' on my personal calandar. My way of ensuring to myself that, if nothing else, this will be done for me, today, because it wasn't just myself waiting on me. If that makes any sense. Well. That whole thing fell in upon itself the day after Christmas, my cousin Mindy committed suicide.
Every day since, I've looked at my computer and knew that I was disappointing you, but every day I still looked away in the end. because saying it here made it more real, or because every day that passed made it that much more of a disappointment to all of you and thus that much harder to say. But. I'm looking at my computer now, for the first time since January, and I am sorry. For being unable to just come out and say this before, and just because. I do love you all, and I've missed you, every day.
And I would like to say, too, that I am done trying to come back. Trying gives an implicit excuse, a corner to back into and not out of, and I'm tired of that. So. I will be here. If I haven't messed things up too badly, that is.
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