The Brig - Series 2

[The Bella Starr]

A cold dark place to put people to forget about 'em.

heh. Just kidding!

It's well lit in here.

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

O'Malley had long wearied of the wait.

He'd been questioned a few times, but it didn't seem like the Alliance was sending their professionals to do the job. Yet. So far, prolonged silences coupled with the phrases "Why should I tell you?" and "Give me a lawyer." had worked to deflect the pathetic attempts they had made at extracting information.

He needed to get out of here.

All O'Malley needed a plier, a spare piece of tape, and two copper coins. And a screwdriver. With extra vodka.

Alas, none of these things, not even the extra vodka were forthcoming.

From what he'd heard from amongst the guards, the others were dead. Even Malenko, who had always seemed invulnerable. It didn't seem possible. The constant musings and doubts were making him crazy.

Finally, he leaned over and participated in his favorite pastime. Tormenting his block-mate. "Yo, Roman? You have a penny on you by any chance? Or a piece of tape?"

[Octavius C. Roman]

Octavius had quite enjoyed being interogated by the Feds. Escpecially when he gave them sarcastic answers to their questions and made comments that would make a rookie Fed blush. He never told them anything important though, he just liked seeing them get frustrated. Now he was in his cell waiting for the inevitable, but at least he had company in the form of his new best "friend".


"Yo, Roman? You have a penny on you by any chance? Or a piece of tape?"


Octavius smiled, leaned back against his cell wall, and said "You know I think I left my wallet and tape at home. Why what do you need them for?"

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

Jabbrar sighed wearily.

Certainly the overgrown cretin could break his neck if he could reach him. And the man certainly didn't have Malenko's sense of discretion about what necks he broke. Still, if he was going to escape, Jabbrar needed the hwun dahn in the next cell.

"Was thinking of waiting until they came with the food, slid the coin under the door so that the floor-seal doesn't make contact. With pliars, I split the other coin, use one to transfer the current from the floor seal to the bars. When they show up with breakfast, the shock when they open the door should stun them long enough for me to use the tape to cover the cam while you take care of our new hostage." His second sigh seemed borne of the weight of a dozen moons. "But since we're out of coins, tape and pliars, wanna play truth or dare? I'll let you go first."

[Octavius C. Roman]

"Was thinking of waiting until they came with the food, slid the coin under the door so that the floor-seal doesn't make contact. With pliars, I split the other coin, use one to transfer the current from the floor seal to the bars. When they show up with breakfast, the shock when they open the door should stun them long enough for me to use the tape to cover the cam while you take care of our new hostage."


"Doesn't sound like a half-assed idea at all." thought Octavius as he listened to his "friend" talk. "Shoulda thought of that one myself. Maybe my new best friend is worth keepin' alive after all. He might come in handy... as a human shield."


Octavius grinned at the last part. Imagining a squad of armed Feds with their guns aimed at him and him using Jabbrar as a shield as they opened fire, his body writhing as bullets opened up red blossoms in his torso. It was an image that almost made Octavius want to break out in a fit of the giggles.


"But since we're out of coins, tape and pliars, wanna play truth or dare? I'll let you go first."


The smile remained as Octavius replied, "Truth or Dare huh? I wanted to play Spin the Bottle, but I don't have a bottle. Not unless you've got one keistered." Octavius sighed and continued, "But if you don't have one, then I guess we can play Truth or Dare. And since you're so nice to let me go first, I'm goin' to pick truth." Turning his head to his "friend", Octavius asked, "So what are you really in here for? And remember if you lie to me, I'll be very sad and angry."

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

"So what are you really in here for? And remember if you lie to me, I'll be very sad and angry."

Jabbrar grinned. Sad and angry Roman could come very much in handy... if he could get his hands on those coins and some pliars. He answered without hesitation, his right hand tapping on the bedframe as though he were bored, "Littering. They take that real serious around here apparently."

"What about you? I mean..." He hesitated, glancing slyly through the bars, "...I heard the newscasts about what a bad mother-rutter you are. They serious or are you all talk and no walk?"

[Octavius C. Roman]

"Littering. They take that real serious around here apparently."


"So I've heard." replied Octavius. He knew the man wasn't telling the truth, he could smell it a mile away, but Octavius decided to roll with it for now.


"What about you? I mean..." "...I heard the newscasts about what a bad mother-rutter you are. They serious or are you all talk and no walk?"


Octavius chuckled, then said, "Don't believe everythin' you hear on the newscasts, my friend. They tend to twist things around and distort the facts to their likin'. I believe they call it "creative writin'"." He folded his arms across his chest and continued, "To answer your question, yes I am a bad mother rutter. I make Jack the Ripper look like the ruttin' Easter Bunny." He smiled again and asked, "So, my good friend, you got a Plan B on gettin' us out of here or what?"

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

".... I make Jack the Ripper look like the ruttin' Easter Bunny."

"The Ripper was a sissy." Jabbrar quipped, his eyebrows raising. "He slaughtered unarmed weak helpless whores in backstreets."

"So, my good friend, you got a Plan B on gettin' us out of here or what?"

"So, I take it that's another Truth play? Very well. Plan B usually requires grenades, and we, Mr. Roman, seem to be entirely out of explosive combustibles." A slow deep breath as he regarded the killer, the cool demeanor of the man, the ripple of muscles under his well-in-need-of-a-washing t-shirt, then Jabbrar spoke very deliberately, "Plan C required getting you pissed off enough to rip those bars apart and kill our guard. But it has occured to me that while that may get you out, it's going to do absolutely nothing for me."

"Soooo... I'm considering going with Plan D... Waiting. Surely one of my team managed to escape and will return for me. Unless you have a better plan? And no, that's not a truth play. I'm just..." He shrugged as he leaned back against the wall, "Too curious for my own good."

[Octavius C. Roman]

"So, I take it that's another Truth play? Very well. Plan B usually requires grenades, and we, Mr. Roman, seem to be entirely out of explosive combustibles."


"No go-se, Sherlock! You figure that one out all by yourself?" thought Octavius as he said, "Not true, my brother. I've been told I have quite an explosive personality." He smiled and continued, "But please go on and enlighten me some more, oh wise sage."


"Plan C required getting you pissed off enough to rip those bars apart and kill our guard. But it has occured to me that while that may get you out, it's going to do absolutely nothing for me."


"You make that sound like I don't like you." replied Octavius. Well that was a little true. Octavius didn't like the man al that well, but he had to admit he needed the company. "Kind of hurts my feelin's in an way, but I digress."


"Soooo... I'm considering going with Plan D... Waiting. Surely one of my team managed to escape and will return for me. Unless you have a better plan? And no, that's not a truth play. I'm just..." "Too curious for my own good."


Octavius stroked his chin, then said, "If I remember correctly, curiousity killed the cat, which is either bad if you like cats or good if you don't." Popping his neck, he continued, "What happens if they didn't escape? What then? Are you willin' to rot in a Fed prison, never seein' daylight for the rest of you're miserable life? What if I told you I do have a plan to get both of us out?"

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

"If I remember correctly, curiousity killed the cat, which is either bad if you like cats or good if you don't."

Jabbrar stared at the burly monster of a man for a moment, trying to decide if he was joking, and finally concluded yes. He shrugged, "I like cats. A bit bony, but properly stewed they're decently consumable."

"What happens if they didn't escape? What then? Are you willin' to rot in a Fed prison, never seein' daylight for the rest of you're miserable life? What if I told you I do have a plan to get both of us out?"


"Prison isn't my first choice." Jabbrar laughed, a short bark in the stifling brig air, "I'm far far too pretty for that." Then the laughter fell away, "Seriously, though. I've been in once, and going back is on my list right after number 39. Brain Surgery and right before Number 41. Castration."

He leaned forward again, moving near to the bars, his voice lowering seriously, "If you told me you have a plan to get us both out, I'd wonder why you need me along. Dying as a distraction in order to help murerous rapist psychopaths escape from prison is on my list down around 59. Or is it 58?"

For a moment Jabbrar thought carefully, his dark gaze rolling to the ceiling, studying the solid panel tile that covered it. "Not sure. I had to change the list a while back to add being burned alive by napalm, so the numbers in the fifty to sixty range are a little mixed up."

[Octavius C. Roman]

"Prison isn't my first choice." "I'm far far too pretty for that."


"Really?" asked Octavius, raising an eyebrow. "Cause you sure don't look like it."


"Seriously, though. I've been in once, and going back is on my list right after number 39. Brain Surgery and right before Number 41. Castration."


"Huh." replied Octavius, feining an interest as he leaned back against his cell. "I woulda put castration in the top 10 on my list, but then again I ain't tryin' to be some fat pedophile in a red suit, makin' a list and checkin' it twice."


"If you told me you have a plan to get us both out, I'd wonder why you need me along. Dying as a distraction in order to help murerous rapist psychopaths escape from prison is on my list down around 59. Or is it 58?"


"Insurance mostly, but then again there is that sayin' about two heads bein' better than one." replied Octavius, thinking about the human shield scenario with his new "friend" in the role of the shield. "And for the record..." he stated, rubbing his neck. "...I'm not pyschotic, just a lil' on the crazy side." Mentally sighing at the annoyance that his new "freind" was becoming, but restraining himself from trying to hurt him, Octavius casually asked, "So what number is it?"


"Not sure. I had to change the list a while back to add being burned alive by napalm, so the numbers in the fifty to sixty range are a little mixed up."


"You know if I had a shiv for every cellmate who thought he was a comedian, I'd have a lot of shivs, not to mention a lot of dead cellmates." replied Octavius, signs of irritation letting themselves be known. Then Octavius smiled that wicked smile of his and said, "I have a story about doin' that to a guy once, who come to think about it, kind of reminds me of you in a way. I'd be more than happy to tell it to you." The smile faded from his face, seriousness replacing it as he continued, "Or you can shut up and listen to my plan."

[Octavius C. Roman]

Silence. Pure, unadulterated silence. It was almost annoying as Octavius's Brig Buddy. Leaning back against his cell's bars, Octavius sighed and said, "I take it by your silence that you don't wanna hear my plan. That's just fine and dandy with me." Octavius sighed again, shook his head, and continued, "And to think I was goin' to add you to my CorSpace Buddies list." A beat passed and Octavius once again spoke to his "friend", "Oh and you can stop starin' at that ceilin' panel. It's solid steel and titanuim, at least three quaters of an inch thick. You're gonna need a high powered laser torch to cut through it. It just looks like it's paneled cause they like to get your hopes up."

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

"You can take it by my silence that you told me to shut up and listen to you." Jabbrar snapped back. Probably not the brightest move considering who he was snapping at. Snapped words were one thing. Snapped necks were something else entire.

"You wouldn't put me on your CorSpace list? Man, I'm hurt! Really hurt!" Jabbrar chuckled, but he knew Roman was right about the ceiling. There was no exit above, and none below.

Only the barred door was any sort of answer.

"I don't have a CorSpace account, but if I DID, I'd Buddy you... just to find out what your ruttin' brill plan is."

[Octavius C. Roman]

"I don't have a CorSpace account, but if I DID, I'd Buddy you... just to find out what your ruttin' brill plan is."


"I'm sure you would, my friend." replied Octavius, flashing Jabbrar a grin. Granted Octavius found him annoying, but he got a certain pleasure out of pissing him off and taunting him too. Octavius let out a short chuckle and continued, "I'm also sure you'd buddy me just to get your hands on my mean meatloaf recipe."


Then the serious part of him took over as he explained his plan, "All right here's the plan on gettin' out of this dump, but a little backstory first. Once upon a time a few years back while in prison, I saved this man from becomin' someone's bitch. Nice man, used to work for Blue Sun, had a way with computers and from what he told me, so did his wife. Anyways one day both me and him get sent to the Hole. On the sixth day of being in there, two men wearin' fancy suits and blue gloves took him away. The last thing he told me was to find his wife and tell her he was still alive." He took a breath and continued, "So bein' the nice guy that I am, I honored his wish and for the past few years I've been usin' the computer skills he taught me to track down his beloved wife. About two weeks ago I find her onboard this ship, trying to pass herself off as one of those spoiled rich brats you hear about on the CorTex. I can honestly tell you she didn't much like it when she found me in her room uninivited. Kinda got all screamy and shooty, which really isn't a good thing considerin' I killed a cleanin' lady when I escaped from here in the first place. I'll tell you about that later."


He flashed Jabbrar another smile, then said, "Now where was I? Oh yeah. Her little indoor shootin' match got the attention of the local security force onboard. Long story short, there was a shootout and I wound up unconscious and locked up. Now you'd think that'd be the end of that, that I'd never see my friend's wife again, but I was surprised when she came to visit me down here. I told her my story of how I knew her husband, told her I could help find him, and she promised she'd find a way to get me out before the Feds came and took me away." He looked at Jabbrar, smiled again, and said, "Of course I'm sure she won't mind if I help bust out a friend, such as yourself."

[Jabbrar O'Malley]

"I've been usin' the computer skills he taught me to track down his beloved wife. About two weeks ago I find her onboard this ship, trying to pass herself off as one of those spoiled rich brats you hear about on the CorTex. I can honestly tell you she didn't much like it when she found me in her room uninivited. Kinda got all screamy and shooty, which really isn't a good thing considerin' I killed a cleanin' lady when I escaped from here in the first place. I'll tell you about that later."

Jabbrar was starting to feel a distinct uncomfortableness about this plan. Not from the killing the helpless maid part- Jabbrar was all for the death if it got you where you needed to be - but the eerie familiarity of the story that Octavius was telling him. "Ahmmm. My friend, I think you might want..."

But the confident hwun dahn was already rushing on with the rest of the tale.

"Now where was I? Oh yeah. Her little indoor shootin' match got the attention of the local security force onboard. Long story short, there was a shootout and I wound up unconscious and locked up. Now you'd think that'd be the end of that, that I'd never see my friend's wife again, but I was surprised when she came to visit me down here. I told her my story of how I knew her husband, told her I could help find him, and she promised she'd find a way to get me out before the Feds came and took me away. Of course I'm sure she won't mind if I help bust out a friend, such as yourself."

"Uh..." Jabbrar shifted on the bunk uncomfortably before finally standing up and leaning as far back from the cell divider as he could. "This woman? She wouldn't happen to be a dark haired hacker-chick, about yay-tall," He held his hand up to his chest, "The one they call Kitten?"

He sighed. If Roman got seriously pissed off enough, was he able to tear the bars apart and rip his head off? On the other hand, if Roman DID tear the bars apart, maybe, just maybe, he could move fast enough to keep his head. " 'Cause if that's who you're waiting on, could be a long long wait." Jabbrar shrugged, smiled slightly, "My boss sort of exploded her."