WELCOME

Prison wasn't so bad when you got used to it. Prison wasn't such a big deal, not like they make it out to be before hand, in the movies etc. Prison wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Some convicts liked prison because it protected them from the outside world, the big bad monsters they ticked off whilst being a big bad monster. Plus they had televisions and play stations and comfortable living. Well Faith didn't really see the point or the allure. Of course she did not have such luxuries and she was never actually going to see an open prison now was she? If she was ever transferred to an open prison then she had also been stuffed into an alternate reality too. She had resigned herself to the knoeldge she was never going to be free. That was OK. It was probably for the best. After the meds kicked in and her head cleared she figured it was for the best. Faith Lehane recognised she needed to be locked up because she wasn't safe to be around people. The Only problem was she was bored stiff these days. Prison was a daudle when you happened to be physically enhanced with sharp senses. Prison couldn't hold a Slayer unless she wanted them to.

At first it had been a culture shock. Faith always had issues with authority. In fact she had fought Angel on that point before finally conceeding she needed the help more than she needed rebellion. The rules, the regulations and the consequent punishments such as isolation (not that she cared) had been part and parcel of Prison life. It wasn't exactly what she expected. She honestly thought it would be more difficult than it turned out to be. Faith was doing quite well in prison now that the inmates had decided to stop trying to kill her. Why anyone thought it'd be a good idea to take her own she had no idea. Perhaps it was because she screamed 'Bring It On' and oozed confrontational vibes. She had been in isolation for the first few months and reused to take any crap from anyone including the occasional guard who thought she was more talk than anything else. Her initial fragile disposition had lead people to believe she wasn't quite as dangerous...idiots. She had quickly proven that theory incorrect when one o the guards had become a little to close than she liked. She was now in and out of isolation not because she was being punished but more or the other inmates peace o mind. There was an announcement before she was allowed out to the yard. It only served to remind FAith she was a badass.

At first she had been refused any form of visitation. Her initial few weeks had been rather boring and if not slightly lonely. Then Angel made his first visit and reminded Faith exactly why she was doing this in the first place. A simple visit made her want to continue when she had been struggling with her fate. After that she had came to accept she would never see the outside world under legal conditions again. Once you had become used to the idea then Prison really was easy. So she was bored out her mind and couldn't kill anything - meaning a demon since there weren't any inside - nor could she afford to relax unless she was in total lockdown because someone would smell that and try to take advantage of the situation. Constantly watching her back had been tiring indeed but the slayer had become used to it after the first few months. The not so frequent and entirely sporadic visits from her vampire sponsor had been a nice touch too. There was nothing like putting a face to a reminder. Things had continued with their usual monotony until she recieved a phonecall from her 'lawyer' who of course just had to be Wesley.

He had sounded different. Well despite the worry and fear lacing his voice (wise decision in the circumstances) he sounded gruffer, rougher, more mature somehow. Faith had shrugged when she realised who it was, ready to slam the phone down and ignore the odd and slightly disturbing fact her torturee had decided to give her a call. She doubted it was to rant and rave in any case - it did not seem to be Wesley's style. He was too British for that. No. When the words Angel and Angelus slipped from his lips and into her ear she had known Prison wasn't going to hold her for much longer. She had truly intended to serve out her entire sentence, wasting away behind locked bars with a strict security regime but as it turns out she was going to be skipping the sentence and blowing what slim chance she ever had of parol. There really was no choice in the matter; Angel needed help and so she was going to be there. It was the least she could do.

Her mind was much better now, she thought, as she escaped prison with ease. Avoiding, ducking and pummeling a few guards had been rather good. Keeping in shape by suing whatever was around to build muscles she previously didn't have and didn't really need had proven useful. One guard got one hit in - there had been three at once - before being swiftly disposed of. All assailants survived according to her hurried damage assessment. Faith couldn't say she cared much if they had died but they were just doing their job. Murdering innocent humans wasn't in her repetoir anymore. She had to be strictly a demon killer. Just don't shove a knife into her hand (a fancy one mind, not a kitchen one). Then she was on the run, hitch hiking and trying to stay ahead of the Coppers because if they managed to catch her then she'd be so deep in trouble WEsley would never be able to give her a call again. Of course there had been a speed chase at one point during which she had taken over the wheel after terrifying the driver. When she finaly arrived in Sunnydale, a place she never thought she'd be back to, she was a little bedraggled. Faith didn't even go near Buffy's place. she had no desire to die just yet so she went straight to Giles. Knowing Sunnydale and having a recollection of it Faith found it rather easy to find. All she had to do was wait for someone to answer the door.

Giles would have always been ready to deny the fact that it had been a form of middle age crisis which had driven him to buy such an outstanding mansion upon his arrival in Sunnydale, years ago. He had been less than thrilled with the prospect of being sent away from the beloved mother country all the way to one of the Hellmouths, in order to take Merrick's place as Buffy Summer's Watcher. He had also protested quite a bit when the Council announced him that he would hold the glorious position of... librarian of Sunnydale High School. Yes, Giles adored books – and that could have even been an understatement – but... librarian? It just hit his ego quite hard. He was already beginning to feel old and he was already aware of the jokes the younger Watchers felt inclined to make behind his back over his conservative dress style. It had been quite frustrating to learn that the Council's intention had been to just rent a small apartment in which to accommodate him in Sunnydale. Ridiculous, that is what it was! That place would have been too small even for Giles' book collection, he simply could not accept getting cooped up there. Therefore he had taken the liberty of finding his own lodging, one which would not make people feel inclined to ridicule the new librarian for being poor. Thus, he ended up owning a mansion which made the Sunnydale citizens lift a brown and wonder how come a librarian would afford to buy and maintain such a place. As if he used that salary for those purposes...

While owning such a mansion might have done wonders for his ego, many were the times when it just reminded him of the sad reality that he was a sad bachelor in his middle ages, whom had been so absorbed into work for the past decades that he just left life slip right past him. He had missed out on his chance to start his own family, seeking for replacements and child figures into the Slayer he trained and her friends. And now, all of the sudden, there was a girl claiming to be his daughter and his house was full of people to the point where he was beginning to worry about not having room to accommodate any new member of Angel's team that would show up from Los Angeles. He didn't regret having invited Gunn to stay, even if, at that moment, Giles had not imagined that this would open the door for Winifred, Wesley and the curious Lorne as well. It was interesting meeting new people and, much to his great surprise, it was interesting spending the afternoons discussing with Wesley. He would have never imagined that he would say a thing like that but the younger man was, actually, pleasant company when he was not too busy flaunting with the extraordinary knowledge he possessed (Giles had to admit that, at times, Wesley did seem to know more than he did). Apparently being fired from the Watcher's Council changed the man a great deal – Giles supposed that the same could be said about himself.

Change was something which he was really beginning to loathe these days. He despised the substantial change consisting in Angel having lost his soul once more, returning to be the beast that had killed a woman he had loved, then proceeded at torturing him for hours, in order to get the secret for Acathla's ritual. He despised the strange turn in events that had made it so that the ritual to curse him would cease to function. God, he despised every odd thing which was happening in Sunnydale lately, because it predicted nothing good. He could not be happy with the fact that cloaked men were trying to kill all the potential Slayers, forcing him to pull girls such as Violet from their normal lives and cast them right in the midst of the harsh Slayer training. When he had parted England after Willow and Xander finally decided to make that call and let him in on the great news, Giles had imagined that he would be in for nothing more than a casual visit to Sunnydale, to make sure that Buffy was alright and that Willow's spell would have had no side effects. Instead he seemed to have been cast right in the middle of impending apocalypse – one which had all the ingredients to be worse than any they had before. Could things be worse than they already were? Giles hoped that this question would remain purely rhetorical, as he made his put down the book he was reading, standing from the arm chair to open the door. He imagined it might be Buffy, or any of the Scoobies, as he casually opened the door wide, his expression becoming very cold and unwelcoming when he saw the person on the other side. ”Faith”, he muttered the name, jaw clenched in tension. Nothing but a psychotic Slayer, escaped from prison, to really give an answer to that rhetorical question of his.

For the past 2 years Prison had been the only life Faith knew. It had been the only life she had been allowed to know. There was the occasional escape through a crappy movie every second Sunday which only made her long for the outside world more. As a result seeing Faith Lehane at the 'cinema', which was nothing more than a room filled with no hope convicts, squashed seats and the occasional bumping elbow war for a smidge more room, and a projector. The walls were practically lined with guards with an ever watchful eye. Well, it never used to be. Ever since Big Jane decided it'd be fun to sneak in a knife from the kitchen where she had been cutting carrots for that day's luxury stew, and had taken a swipe at everyone and everthing until Faith in her irritance put her down, had decided to up secruty to a stifling degree. While Faith had stopped an angry female from cutting up everyone in the vicinity (three women had been sent ot the infirmary and remained there for two weeks) Faith had once again been slammed in solitary confinement. The only difference was, she was allowed smokes due to her 'service to the LA County Prison' when she 'assisted in the deterance of a highly dangerous and armed inhabitant'. of course, it was naturally seen as sucking up to the system which meant Faith had had to watch her back with extra vigilance. She was more than happy she had that Slayer Sense of hers because without eyes on the back of her head she would have been sliced and diced long ago.

There was no doubting that being back in Sunnydale was strange. She half expected a monster to come out and leap on top of her for the sake of it. She half wished it would. Perhaps it would distract her from the strange sensation being back here brought. There was no other word but 'odd', to describe the niggling feeling of De Ja Vu which was falling over her in soft waves. The entire town hadn't changed a dime, not that radical change was expected in the short time she had been away. She could almost pretend she was on an extended holiday bt that would imply sunnydale was 'home,' to her. Faith had no home. She had reveled in that fact when she was still young in mind. She had always liked the thought of roaming free with no bounds, no boundaries, no rules and nothing at all to weigh her down. Travelling light, Faith had always managed to live reasonably comfortabely despite not appearing to have any money at all. Crafty work had always secured her finances though such tricks would be more difficult in the immediate future. She had to be a little more careful than she was back then. Her inital record had theft and violence socred across the sheets but none of that was the black mark murder gave. Whether anyone could believe it was an accident or not, the months which followed demonstrated to her highly violent and tempremental nature. The record was now a rather long one and any employment opportunities (not that she had any intentions os gettign a tied in, weighed down, proper job) were non existant. Being back here, it swirled a pitiful feeling of nostalgia for the days when Faith had someone in her life as unwavering as Richard had been to her. Even though their partnership hadn't lasted long, their relationship had developed quickly. It had always made Faith mad that that couldn't and never would happen with Buffy, whom she quickly fell into hating passionately. It was strange to think that someone she had known only for a few weeks understood her better than someone she had been constantly trying to reach out to and failing. Faith guessed they failed to understand each other. She had been too angry, too full of rage to make nice with the goody goodies properly anyway. It always spelled a recipe for disaster.

To beh onest Faith wasn't sure what was going on. Al lshe knew was Angel's soul had managed to flee from his body leaving it inhabited by...well...nothing. Angelus was on the loose and that spelled extremely bad news for everyone, including the demon population she was set on massacaring as soon as she got the chance. Angel's soul was simply gone though, not destroyed and for that reason Faith was going to fight until it killed her to get it back. So maybe Angel would prefer just being gone after all the horror and devastation he's caused but that was just tough. Faith wasn't about to give him a concession just because it seemed like the better option. It was the better option, for only a moment. Because in the end it would only serve Angelus's purpose by staying gone. Angel knew that. He was the one solid person left in her life, and although he hadn't visted lately she wasn't about to hold that against him. It was a strange and busy life he lead. There wasn't always time to visit the convict Slayer in prison. Saving lives was more important than comforting her failing one. She got that now. If she had been able to swallow her pride, take blame and responsibility for once then maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe she would have been able to salvage her friendship with Buffy and perhaps built a few bridges with her friends. It was never going to happen now. All she could hope to do was not ruffle too many feathers by her abrupt and mostly unwanted appearance. You got to hand it to WEsley. He sure found a back bone.

"Giles," Faith replied keeping her voice light. "Not that Watcher I was looking for," She shrugged. "A little birdie told me you were in a tight one. Could use an extra pair of hands," Faith said offering her services. Even Giles had to admit, an extra pair of super human strength and agility could be of some use. it wans't like she couldn't fight or anything and she was willing to follow the rules and behave herself. Heck, she'd promise to stay clear of the kitchen if it made them feel better. Anything to help Angel.

Faith Lehane. There were few people in this world which Giles absolutely loathed. Not even Ethan Rayne could really be counted into this category. Sure, the man annoyed him and the two of them appeared to be absolutely incapable of being in the same town without some sort of magic disaster happening, but what they had could hardly be described as hatred. Faith, on the other hand... Giles was not sure if it was pure hatred but it was something very close to that feeling. It was no mystery to anyone who had eyes to see just how attached he had gotten to Buffy and how paternal he acted to her all the time. Just like a father, Giles was anything but indulgent with people which made his daughter suffer and God knows just how much harm Faith had done to Buffy in the time since she first set foot in Sunnydale. It would have not been an exaggeration to say that Faith had done just enough harm to Buffy like Angelus did. Unlike the soulless vampire, though, there was no justification for Faith's deeds. Angelus was a soulless creature which sought revenge against anyone who had ever been close to Angel. Faith, on the other hand, had no reason to wish to harm Buffy, none at all. Try as might, Giles could simply find no justification for her deeds other than the one that she was a completely insane and perverted human being. Such traits didn't belong in a human, they were suited for demons. The fact that Faith presented them made her worse, in Giles' eyes, than the vampires which she had been supposed to fight against.

At the time when Faith turned against all of them and sided with the Mayor, it had seemed very easy to think that the blame belonged to Wesley. The other Watcher had not been able to train her, he had taken the completely wrong approach to her rebellious attitude and he had shown zero support and understanding when she made her mistake. Giving matters more consideration, however, Giles realized that there was no one to blame for Faith behavior other than whatever cosmological force made her “bad to the bone”, as the saying went. No matter how much Giles would think about it, no matter how objective he tried to be, he could still see no reason why she would grow to hate Buffy so much or why she would take it upon herself to try and kill Angel or why she would torture Wesley the way he heard that she did. Even if he did hear the story on how Faith would have only done the last two of those things because she had a death wish and wanted Angel to kill her, Giles very much doubted that there was any truth in that. He merely saw it as another one of Faith's twisted games, one whose ending he could not quite predict.

If others might have taken comfort in the idea that Faith had been imprisoned after what she did in Los Angeles, Giles had not been among them. He had constantly been of the conviction that one day a news report would speak of an inmate called Faith Lehan which had slaughtered the guards and the other prisoners before breaking free and heading for an unknown destination. Apparently he had not been too far with his theory, if he counted out the fact that there had been no such news report that he had heard of and that her destination had been a much too predictable one. ”Oh? Were you expecting Wesley perhaps, for another round of torture? I am afraid he might be unavailable for that. Same for me for that matter.” His tone was harsh, hand tightly clasped on the door knob, ready to swing it in Faith's direction at any moment. ”An extra pair of hands ready to main us? No, I am quite positive we don't need one of those. You have to the count of ten before I call the police. Or worse....” Giles was confident that he had enough new magic tricks down his sleeve to keep himself safe in case Faith tried to lift as much as a finger on him.

YOU LIKE TO THINK THAT IN SOME WAY IT'S ME AND NOT YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHY, I WON'T ACT THE WAY YOU THINK I SHOULD
YOU DON'T KNOW WHY, I WON'T GIVE IN, THE HELL WITH THE PRESSURE I'M NOT CAVING IN

Angel was gone. It was worrying for the once completely psycho slayer, and still slightly mentally on the rocks girl. Angel was a solid rock in her life whether he was present or not (more often than nought he failed to make it into prison to see her but she wasn't complaining.) Faith had always been surprised Angel made it as often as he did, showing her support even though he didn't have to. She was sponsored by a vampire and he, in turn, was sponsored by a Slayer, and Faith herself chipped in a little bit. The whole rallying together, emotional support wasn't her kind of gig but for Angel she was willing to make a little bit of an exception. You couldn't except much from her. She wasn't about to cook smores and encourage him to open up his heart because she knew how impossible and frightening and painful that truly was but he needed a bit of encouraging. Faith did her encouraging by showing him she coudl do this, that it wasn't so bad and this dark and dismal path would get lighter. If hers coudl get lighter, so could his right? There was some kind of reasonable logic in there she thought. One way or another she could see that she wouldn't stray from the path of holy righteousness (yeah right) and be the good little golden girl she was destined to be. Well, there was no harm in partying, drinking and having a laught right? Buffy certainly thought it meant giving up her Slayer vows and that the deities would smite her the second she did, but Faith wasn't quite so rigid. Oh no. Faith certainly wasn't rigid at all. Her flexibility was part of the problem and she always looked to Angel for a set of rules, guidlines, a road to follow with a guard rail and a high towering intimidating fence. He did it. He did it everyday. buffy couldn't udnerstand what it was like, Faith didn't want her to. It was difficult to udnerstand if you looked at the darkness but failed to tough it. She was all screwed up inside and she was straightening things out. She would get there. Eventually. Angel would helpt with that whether he was aware of it or not.

Angel wasn't around anymore. Angelus was back. Faith knew Angelus made her look like a kid trying to skip stones, a kid playing with a toy gun and revelling in it, whilst he was out doing the real thing with gory and harrowing details. Angelus was not amateur. She wasn't afraid as suck, though she knew she should be, of the big bad vampire, not like she was afraid of Kakistos (partly borrowed terror from Alexandria and Artemia), but she was vary more wary of him than she was of Buffy. Of Giles. Of anyone. He wondered what he would do if he got his cold, icy grip on her. Faith knew he would try and shatter her faith (ironic right?) in him but it wasn't possible. Faith, in a way, was still a twisted girl and could not be as easily manipulated as others. Well...Faith knew she was easily manipulated but not in regards to that. She was surprisingly and stubbornly loyal, even if she coudl switch sides but it wasn't as simple as 'She stole my dolly I hate her!' like all the Scoobies liked to believe. The accumluation of years upon years of hardship. of being spat on, snapped at, laughed at, used and abused took its toll. She had told no one of Malice and her horrific experience of the Slayer world before and after she became one. It wasn't all just fun and games. For Faith, but then, it had to be because it was the only thing keeping her going. She had been staving off the breakdown for quite some time. Perhaps Angel had seen that. Perhaps he had known and wasn't at all surprised she came crawling, shouting, yelling, begging for death. Yes, in his own way he had punished her. Suffering in hell would have been a little too easy. This, this was difficult. The scoobies would never understand how hard it was to deny your nature, how wrenching it was to fight with yourself, the world and everything inside you and everyone else, to keep on this narrow little precipice and not allow anyone to blow you off because they thought you would fall. Faith wasn't about to allow Giles to goad her. It was what he wanted. She wasn't about to allow him to taint her with the brush she had provided a couple of years ago. He had never liked her, she could tell. She had never liked him much anyway.

Angel had never given up. Giles had. Faith had never liked Giles. He was stuffy, old and boring. He had never really tried. Although it appeared Faith never had either, she really really had. It wouldn't be a comfort for them to know, in the few brief months she was friends with Buffy, she had been calmer than she had ever been. She had allowed Buffy to influence her and when she felt betrayed, it really stung. She had felt angry at herself for allowing someone she barely knew to have such a swing over her mind, her soul, her heart. Buffy had convinced her of things she would not ordinarily have thought about, and she in turn tried to get Buffy to loosen up a bit. If she headed in the direction she had been then, B must be one tight Slayer by now. If she ever complained about stress it was no surprise - the girl just didn't know how to let loose. Perhaps it was because she was afraid, afraid of what she may become, what might happen to herself and those precious little friends of hers (she only liked Xander, surprisingly, barely) whom she was always banging on about. Their safety was so important, they must be kept a distance, the whole A slayer is always alone shit just didn't flyw ith Faith. Buffy had everything. she didn't know what she had. It was clear she didn't appreciate her friends as much as Faith had done so, veven when she knew they hadn't liked her very much. She thought, this was it, perhaps this was her home now and stopping here in this funny crazy little town wouldn't be so bad. Not so bad at all. That was until Buffy started grating in her ears going on about how she killed someone and that was a very bad bad thing. Truthfully she had only blamed the girl because she had been afraid. AFraid of what? Faith wasn't sure but it was probably the rejection she had known was coming. So she did it first. She spiralled out of control because it seemed easier, less painful, and then she hadned the Mayor's weakness on a platter. Of course switching bodies with Buffy and sleeping with her boyfriend hadn't helped her any but she was in a really bad place. Not that Giles would ever know anything about being 'messed up'. God he was so stuffy, old, boring and had a few secrets yea, but evil wasn't something he was intimate with. Not nearly enough to understand. Angel had tried before, he had almost got her to listen. Stupid Wesley. Brave Wesley. Faith considered the Watcher she wanted to see for a moment. She would listen to him now. His respect level, which was non-existant before, had shot through the bloody roof. You don't just call up the girl who had tied you to a chair and tortured you (if she had been really into it he wouldn't have been able to just physically get up and walk away) without it taking a lot of guts. He was doing it for Angel, yes. It was admirable really. Oh she wasn't going to tell him that. He shoudln't be able to see by the way she treated him. Everybody. The old Faith was dead, burried, locked away. This new one wasn't about to let her out.

”An extra pair of hands ready to maim us? No, I am quite positive we don't need one of those. You have to the count of ten before I call the police. Or worse....”

Faith sighed. She had expected something like this. She could hardly blame him, even if it did spark an old fuzzy irritance. It was easily pushed down and swallowed. Faith wasn't going to allow herself to be riled by some fuddy duddy. B may have that she's here too (ammednment: most definately) but she knew when she needed an extra pair of hands, even if they were hated, even if she planned on somehow getting her killed she could still be of use for a while. B saw the bigger picture. Giels was just seeing Buffy. He always had and that was why she never liked him very much. There never had been room for a second Slayer, even if he had pretended there was. He lied. Everybody lies, even high almighty Giles. He and buffy were suited for each other because they both had this self righteous crap going on. She didn't give a damn for Giles and what he thought. She was here for Angel, she was here because it was Wesley who asked and that struck a chord with her. Wesley had to be pretty desperate and she was trying to not make the same mistakes again. She wouldn't. Giles thought he was so clever. He wasn't. He didn't understand people and that was a flaw. Heck she didn't understand people but then, she had never tried to. "Wesley called me. And is that what you're going to say to Angelus when he comes calling? Cuz I don't think he's going to be intimidated by the count of ten or 'I'm going to call the cops,' Faith replied. Cheeky? Well he deserved it.



[SIZE=8]

TRUTH IS THE TRUTH HURT DON'T YOU AGREE?
[color=47FF2A]IT'S HARDER TO LIVE WITH THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU THAN TO LIVE WITH THE LIES ABOUT ME
Lyrics: Guns 'n' Roses; Sorry; Chinese Democracy

He should have become accustomed with this by now: bad things never quite came on their own. It was almost as if they possessed a sort of a magnetic attraction – one lured another, then another and before anyone had a chance to realize it, they were going to face a conglomerate of evil forces which would overpower them by far. The very definition of Sunnydale. Except that this time it felt like it was worse than it had ever been before. As much as he hated thinking that way, Giles could not help remembering just how quiet his life had been no later than a few months before. He had returned to England, to his boring and solitary life style – minus the well-paid job -, he could have continued to live the rest of his days like any other middle aged man, perhaps even forgetting of everything which he had learned about as a Watcher. It would have been unnecessary knowledge, as Giles was certain that the Council would never call him back to train another Slayer. Not that he would have wished for such a thing to happen. His only Slayer had been Buffy and he was not going to replace her. When the phone rang, one day, with news which should have pulled him out of his grief over the one which had been like a daughter to him, it should have been a happy moment for Giles. Instead, he saw it as a bad thing to happen, as if a nagging voice on the back of his mind was warning him of the fact that the consequences of Buffy's return would be graver than anyone would be capable of imagining at the moment. Giles hated it that the nagging voice had been right.

First and foremost, Buffy seemed anything but fine and Giles could only imagine how traumatic it had been for her to have been brought back to life. Unfortunately, Buffy never talked about it, at least not with him, so Giles had no way of knowing what was really wrong. Her former Watcher would have preferred that for many months to come Buffy's greatest challenge would be some vampire with a blood lust and nothing more. As it turned out, it appeared that no one – or better said, nothing – other than the First Evil itself had returned to Sunnydale with an agenda no one could predict at the moment, not even Giles – with all the research he had done to the moment. As if that was not enough and Buffy needed someone even worse than that, Angelus had been released. It did not take a genius to imagine what his priority would be. If Giles could have taken Buffy and put her behind some shield which would protect her from the evils just waiting to get their claw on her, he would have gladly done it, despite her protests that she was a big girl and that she could protect herself. He had no such power, though, and now, on top of everything, it looked like he was going to have Faith to worry about.

The first thought that had crossed Giles' mind had been that it was hardly a coincidence that she happened to escape prison and come to Sunnydale just when they were in enough trouble as it was. It just seemed to convenient that another person ready to raise a knife and stab Buffy in the back would appear right when she was facing two enemies powerful enough on their own, both with many reasons to want the Slayer dead and buried one more time. It did not seem improbable that one of them would have been the one behind Faith's sudden and unwanted return. What was a huge surprise, without any hint of overreacting, was for Giles to hear Faith claim that the one calling her had actually been Wesley. ”Wesley?”, Giles repeated, before rolling his eyes at her. ”Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” How naďve did she consider him to be? Did she imagine that he had not heard of what she had done to Wesley in Los Angeles, that he would be ready to buy the story that her former Watcher called her back? She was wrong if she did. Wesley might have been a fool in his days, Giles could vouch for that, but the man that had returned to Sunnydale from Los Angeles hardly seemed like the fool Giles had known – even if he had his moments, occasionally. That was the worse lie Faith could have come up with. ”We shall deal with Angelus, just like I shall deal with you. I'd be more intimidated by the 'or worse' if I were you, Faith”, Giles threatened one more time, eyes narrowing down on her. He was not scared of a confrontation with Faith, even knowing what she had done to Wesley.

YOU LIKE TO THINK THAT IN SOME WAY IT'S ME AND NOT YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHY, I WON'T ACT THE WAY YOU THINK I SHOULD
YOU DON'T KNOW WHY, I WON'T GIVE IN, THE HELL WITH THE PRESSURE I'M NOT CAVING IN

Sunnydale was a place of mixed emotion for Faith Lehane. She had never voiced her last name in Sunnydale, only claiming to be a 'Southie' when her heritage came up. She had kept everything vague and explained her life to no one. Angel had never asked, never wanted to explore the roots to see if there was a reason there to explain the reason she was so damn angry and so damn crazy. She never had been mentally stable something he probably he had seen but she could say that she was more or less on an even playing field now. Faith understood herself better than she ever did. Los Angeles had taught her many things, including even though you steal a guys keys and discover where he lives, that doesn't mean he pays the damn electricity bills. No matter. It had provided her with useful shelter and utilities. Plus that guy just deserved a good beating. Whereas the thought of the crunch made her happy before, it now made Faith cringe. It was a reminder of who she used to be: a violent, over the edge, unstable, terribly lonely and unhappy and angry young Slayer, who's requirement for control (and lack of it) twisted in her head until she became a monster. Acceptance was key with Faith Lehane. The Scoobies weren't smart enough to figure that out. Not that she ever really thought of them anymore. In Sunnydale, before, her anger had been sharp and bubbling like lava boiling over, or white pointed knives attacking flesh. Her insanity had been curling like whisps of smoke - you could see it, but you could never contain it, solve it, sort it out unless you were like smoke yourself. Sunndale wasn't a happy place for her, yet here she was all because Wesley had told her Angelus was here - playing noughts and crosses no doubt. Who would be next to die? She was going to make sure, with or without the assistance of Giles (who'd prbably try and get her killed - not that she blamed him -). Strangely enough it was Wesley she trusted not to try and off her at the first opportunity. Funny ol' world wunnit?

She would never be free again but she had resigned herself to that fate. If she was totally honest with herself Prison wasn't so bad. She'd never admit that to a living soul of course. Prison, was also hell. She liked being free, she liked being able to breathe without anyone watching with eyes peeled and sneaky. She liked being able to do what she wanted and when she wanted. Of cousre no one really bothered her anymore learning pretty quickly that was the fastest and easiest way to get yourself into the Medical Unit. Perhaps that was what they wanted and she was willing to oblige. She only ever acted these days in self defence because solitary pretty much sucked and she didn't need to be alone with her thoughts in quite an isolated situation. Faith's thoughts were loud enough without them richoching off the walls. There was a lot she didn't want to think about and facing Giles was reminding her of just how much. Sure she had apologised to Buffy - which was probably lost in her blood thirsty rage - and had even goaded her to kill her - which she had actually wanted - but it wasn't enough. There were friends and family to deal with whom she had completely disregarded. She didn't care about them still, but she owed Angel to try, she owed Buffy to be civil and she owed it to herself to prove she could do it. She had changed yes, but she hadn't yet been tested with all the temptations the world held. She had hurt them all terribly and she had paid the price in more than blood and time. Giles would never understand and she didn't expect Wesley too either but he was less likely to as judgemental. It was surprising that her salvation was coming in the form of the man she had once tortured, but he had a bigger head and bigger heart than she suspected. He had grown and so had she. Perhaps he was aware that her heart hadn't really been i nthe whole 'torture' deal. Angel had been her true target but the damn vampire figured it all out.

HOw could she ever convince dear old Giles she wasn't interested in Buffy. Buffy could suddenly explode or be announced President and she wouldn't give a damn. She not longer wanted to hurt the girl herself but that didn't mean she would care if she was suddenly gutted - not on a personal level at least. On a professional level she was pretty happy Buffy was alive and kicking because she was so much better that this 'saving people' lark than she ever would be. Besdies she was still getting herself together and dealing with world saving techniques wasn't going to help keep her mind together. People were cruel. People were vultures. Fate proved to be just as unkind. It seemed to Faith she was always going to end up here. Her grand plan had been to become insane and break out of prison to assit in the capture of Angelus and re-instatin of Angel. It certainly wasn't heroic or the likes but that perhaps Fate figured tht was all she was useful for. Faith didn't care. Once upon a time she had lvoed this Slayer business - Buffy knew it too. She had made no secret of liking the power it had given her, the control which she had never had previously in her life, the ability to stand up and just say no. She didn't want any of it anymore. Funnily she genuinely wanted to be left alone to lead her life the way she had intended (well not qutie) before all of this started. But then, it had started long before she had discovered she was a Chosen One. It started with those damn nightmares before she even had her powers. It was enough to make Faith believe she was always going to be a Slayer and that these choices weren't as random as they believed. Sure there are always other girls in the line : who's next? Perhaps there were a hundred to chose from but she was sure they had already chosen who was next. Perhaps that was a stupid ting to think. It just maked sense to her, that's all.

”We shall deal with Angelus, just like I shall deal with you. I'd be more intimidated by the 'or worse' if I were you, Faith”,

Faith did nothing more than raise an eyebrow. Surely he couldn't possibly believe that he could move faster than she could? Even without the super powers he was old now and she was still spritely. Besides, if she had wanted to hurt him she would have done so already. And even at that, it would make him longer to summon magick (whatever) than she would to smash his head against his lovely wooden door so she really wasn't sure what he thought he was going to do. It wasn't arrogance this time. It wasn't over-confidence. It was just her assessing the situation and coming up with an answer on how she saw things. "Doesn't Angelus like to torture Angel's friends?" Faith replied. "You're in a lot of shit then aren't you?" Well Giles wasn't a friend, but Buffy had been his girl and Buffy was close with her friends. he wasn't thinking this through as clearly as he should have been. For a Watcher he was rather rusty. "About Wes. I was surprised myself. It seems he's got a better understanding of the situation than you do," Or he was trying to get her killed. Wesley ahd to know she wouldn't give up, not ever. It was crafty but it had worked. However, Wesley also knew that Angel was the Good's best figther (barring Buffy) and they would need him back. If she got killed doing it so much the better right? She doubted he wante dher to die before Angel was back locked in his cage. That would just be a waste of time. "He sounded...older...on the phone," Wesley had all grown up apparantly. This should be interesting to see.

Wesley had no doubt that when the others would learn what he had done, there would be plenty of screaming involved. Honestly, since the day in which he picked up the phone to dial the number to the prison where Faith was serving her penance, there was a voice on the back of his own mind calling him a variety of choice names. A very wide variety. Faith Lehane had very literally been the bane of his existence from the moment in which he first set foot in Sunnydale. Then again, he must have been the bane of hers as well. Faith was special and she needed to be handled with extreme care, much like a very delicate explosive. Wesley understood it now but, back then, he was completely blind to it. He was a complete snob, thinking that the position of Watcher gave him complete authority over two girls which, as much as he had hated to admit to it, had more life experience than he did. He had taken Faith's insubordination personally, instead of opening his eyes to see that his method called for such a response. Hell, if by some awkward time paradox he were to travel back in time and meet his past self, he wouldn't have listened to a thing he said either and he would have also taken the time to mend all the things he had done wrong, the most important one being his reaction to Faith killing an innocent human. Wesley had no doubt that his calling of the Council had been the push Faith had needed to become an enemy of Buffy and her friends and he was not particularly proud of that. He had deserved being fired, as painful as it had been at that moment to be told that he could not continue with the job that he had trained all of your life for, to know how thoroughly disappointed in him his father would be.

In retrospect, getting kicked out of the Watcher's Council didn't look so bad any more. Wesley was finally free to move out of his father's shadow and he could finally decide the course of his own existence. He enjoyed what he did for Angel Investigations more than he ever enjoyed studying like a mad man so that he could become the top of the Academy. As insane as it sounded, perhaps he could even thank fate for putting Faith Lehane in his way and derailing his career the way it did. Of course, that small sense of gratitude was buried deep under by the memory of Faith's visit to Los Angeles. Never in his life had Wesley imagined that it would be possible to endure so much pain. Admittedly, he used to be a complete coward, mortified by the mere idea that something could hurt him. Then came along Faith, hitting him, cutting him deeply enough to cause unbearable pain but also shallowly enough to make sure that he wouldn't bleed to death too soon. That night was the worse in his life. Wesley didn't tell anyone but, for quite a while after that, he had nightmares revolving around it. Many of them ended in a different manner, with him thrusting that knife deep into Faith's heart, twisting it into her flesh, watching her into the eyes as she gasped her last breath... An alternate ending whose cruelty surprised Wesley. He could have never done that. Or... could he?

The former Watcher knew that he was taking a risky decision by calling Faith to let her know that Angelus was out to play but he also knew that she was the only person that could have contained him. Buffy loved Angel too much to be relied on if things would get down to something nasty. Faith possibly cared for the ensouled vampire that tried to help her find redemption but it was a completely different situation. Wesley had imagined that the news would make Faith break out of jail and return to Sunnydale to tackle the situation. However, he did not quite imagine that she would actually present herself to Rupert's house. He had made his way down into the living room area to find a book, when he heard the familiar voices, his eyes widening with surprise. This had the potential of ending very badly if Rupert continued to be so welcoming. He heard Faith ask about Angelus' preference to torture Angel's friends, question to which the older Watcher had remained silent. Fred was already on the victims list. Hearing his name, he walked towards the front door, announcing his presence: ”Older? I take offense in that. Hello, Faith. I didn't imagine you would show up here.” His stance was relaxed, a book casually tucked under his arm, his hair slightly messes and no glasses perched on his nose. He didn't look like he was afraid of her and he really wasn't. If she would have wanted to finish what she had started the first time she had been in Los Angeles, she could have escaped jail and come after him at any moment. Glancing at Giles, Wesley noticed that the man stared at him, completely scandalized and that he was about to open his mouth and say something unpleasant. ”We will discuss later, Rupert”, he interrupted him, before stepping outside and closing the door behind him. ”I am sure you understand it's wise if I don't invite you in, Faith. I can't say people will be too happy to see you back.”

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce was not exactly Faith’s first port of call. In fact, he wasn’t her second, or third or fourth or sixth. He was probably the last man on Earth she ever would have considered calling and then refused. That was, until recently, when Wesley Wyndam-Pryce picked up the phone and connected to Los Angeles Penitentiary. Four square grey walls and a whole lot of females jumped up and ready for fights just wasn’t here cup of tea; especially when she was trying to quash her insatiable love of violence. He had injured her pride deeply, and her sense of self, whether he realised it now, then or was still ignorant of that fact. He had come onto the scene young, much younger than she was despite being greater in age than she. It was his smarmy bitchy attitude, his fierce representation of solid boundaries, rules and regulations, and of course, his insistence on bossing them around with schemes that didn’t work and would never have worked that had her hackles raised and her back up in an instant. Giles had been OK. Faith had seen in an instant that the doddery old English libarian who really did care for the Slayer. She was jealous. Viciously jealous. She wanted that for herself and so she had tried to fit in and for a while Buffy let her. But then her friends got in the way, Wesley yanked them both around and her friends began talking Buffy out of being pally with her. Things fell apart and Faith became a raging storm built upon years and years of the same story repeating itself repeating itself repeating itself. Faith blamed Buffy for listening to her friends. She blamed Wesley for calling the Council. She blamed the Scoobies for so many things whether they were to blame or not.

The call had been a great surprise to her. Wesley was the last person she expected to call. She tortured him only to anger Angel. All her relationships had blown up in her face. Wesley and Buffy had been the last insult. She hadn’t liked killing that guy. She hadn’t meant to. They all assumed she has because she said she hadn’t cared just to test them. It was a test for them. Faith had wanted to see if they would stick by her like they stuck by each other. More fool for her eh? Wesley...there was no forgiveness for Wesley. It wasn’t an accident. It was a thinly concocted plan but nonetheless premeditated. The goal had never pain Wesley’s pain: it had been her death. Some say dying is the hardest thing but others claim it is surviving and walking the line and never straying from it. Well she was walking the line. She put herself in prison whether the Scoobies realised it or not. She was the one who turned away from the running and the hiding. Angel had said he would help. She knew now that she had treated them with a harsh disproportionate response. Her emotional state and mind had been deteriorating for years before finally being pushed over the edge by Buffy, her friends and ultimately Wesley. Angel had been so close to picking up the crumbling pieces of Faith and moulding it together before she completely fell apart. Unfortunately Wesley stepped in and Faith just snapped.

Calling her, well let’s just say Faith respected that, even if it had been a risky desperate move by someone who had every right to hate her very guts. Her estimation of Wesley had gone up by a considerable percentage. She could only hope that the others didn’t kill her the second they saw her. She could help. She was here to help. Help Angel, that is. It wasn’t about them. Faith wasn’t sure she had yet had it in her to help them. Angel hadn’t given up – even when she had greatly hurt Buffy, tortured Wesley, threatened and attempted to kill him, and bounced his ass off the ceiling. ”I meant...mature. All grown up,” Faith amended with a shrug. ”Hey, I didn’t exactly had an address for you and I didn’t fancy turning up at the Summers’ House,” Faith said. ”Did a look around. He’s being doing a whole lot of braggin’ around town. Boy does that guy have one hella of an ego to stroke. Not heard much on the way of planning though,” Faith informed him. ”Look, I don’t want to cause any waves here, so I’ll spend most of my time elsewhere but I’m going to need a number or something. How did Angel become de-souled anyway?” Faith asked. If Wesley thought she was going to kill him, then he was wrong. Angel never gave up on her and she was never going to give up on Angel. The only way she would ever kill Angelus was if there was no way to reinsoul him, or the situation was so desperate that there was no other choice, and there was no way to stuff that soul back inside him later. If Wesley brought her here just to kill him... No. She wouldn’t play.

If, initially, the sight of Faith didn't scare Wesley, watching her for a while longer stirred the memories of that night in Los Angeles. For a couple of seconds, as long as the blink of his eyes lasted, he visualized her looking a couple of years younger, holding a bloodied knife in her hand, taunting him with a cruel expression in her eyes. As fleeting as the image had been, it sent chills down Wesley's spine. He hoped that it didn't show in his expression, not just because he wanted to play brave in front of Faith but also because Wesley had been convinced of the fact that he had managed to get over the trauma of that night. In fact, he had been convinced that Faith's torture had helped him grow as a person. If, until then, the sight of blood could very well make him pass out, after that night Wesley had become capable of enduring more serious injuries without whining worse than a woman would have done. What better proof to that than the way in which he handled the wound caused by the bullet he took for Gunn? The old Wesley would have probably spent months in bed complaining about it. Wesley nodded to Faith clarifying what she meant when she said he looked older. ”I'm glad you notice. You helped.” He didn't sound aggressive or reproachful when he said that. On the contrary, he sounded thankful. At times, the worse experiences in life helped one become a better person.

Faith's explanation on why she showed up at Rupert's house made perfect sense. Wesley supposed that he could have given her an address where they could meet when she would manage to get out of the penitentiary, as he expected her to. Too late to fix that now. ”I should have given you a way to contact me when you'd be free, you are right. I will deal with Rupert later and explain that you are no danger to him or Buffy. I wouldn't be wrong if I told him that, would I?” Wesley hoped that Faith had been honest when she said that she wanted to atone for her sins and that Angel's attempts to help her had been fruitful. If she could stand in front of him, right now, without watching him with hatred for the things he had done to her, he wanted to believe that she could do the same with respect to Buffy. Wesley hoped that Faith had also grown up to be a better person, just like it happened to him, even if this did not necessarily imply that all the past mistakes had been completely forgiven.

”Sounds just like what I knew about Angelus”, Wesley replied to the piece of information she offered. The vampire was aware of the reputation he had and he took full advantage of that. He had also expected Angelus not to be that stupid as to brag about his future plans although, in all honesty, it was not that difficult to imagine that his immediate plans involved inflicting pain upon the ones that had been close to Angel. ”Sure, I'll give you my number. Do you have anything to write it on?”, Wesley asked, approaching the easiest issue at first. ”From what I have been told, Angel was tricked into believing that he would be offered his soul permanently. Instead, his soul was taken away and it seems to be impossible to summon from the ether so that we may curse him again.” The former Watcher offered all the details he had. ”Did you ever hear about the First Evil?”, he added, in case she would ask who was behind Angel losing his soul.

Life was such a funny thing. There was no way of knowing what life would bring you: demons or angels; sweet or sour; sugar or spice. The ups and downs of life weren’t known to those walking the path, but they were known to those above, apparently. They had plans for them all. The path had to be walked by those who had something to atone for – or something like that anyway. Angel had put her on it years ago, but she had to take the first step. She hadn’t realised that at first, this life could be so cryptic at times. It was only when the choice came –turn herself in or allow Angle to suffer for it – that she realised that for this to work she had to step up and she had to do it on her own. Angel couldn’t defend her forever – it wasn’t feasible. The police were looking for her and they were not going to stop not with the crime wave she had caused over Los Angeles, and considering she was wanted for murder in Sunnydale they would probably figure it spread from Sunnydale to the City of Angels itself. It didn’t. Faith had a quiet, lulling path from the Hellmouth to demon central, where the nights never slept and you couldn’t see the stars due to the pollution choking the sky. She had gone out on her own, again, as she had done so plenty of times before, to start a new life. Well...get dead, anyway. She never would have figured, all those years ago – and it did feel like such a long time ago now – that she’d be standing here, looking to Wesley for instructions of sort.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. He was still coming across as a bit of prat but it might be the accent that was leading her to think that. He couldn’t be that much of a git...anymore. He was a right pain in the buttocks before. Faith couldn’t stand the sight of his slick back hair, the rigid posture, the perfect pronunciation and the suits – oh how she hated the suits. Suits represented rules and regulations and authority – everything Faith had hated before and now was coming to accept as part of her life. She worked best now with rules. Wesley had liked rules, and maybe he still did but he encouraged her to break out of prison so she was going to say he wasn’t as stuffy as he was before. He had definitely grown up, matured, got that stick out his ass and she was glad. The world was so much more fun when you let loose a little and it was safe to say Wesley could afford to have some fun. Faith, however, couldn’t afford to let go. Letting go got her in this mess.

Faith nodded awkwardly. ”For what it’s worth...I wasn’t really trying,” She said in reference to his torture. ”I...shouldn’t have used you as bait,” she added, as close to an apology Wesley was going to get from her. She wasn’t sure why she was saying it. She guessed she was like an addict and while she had shown contrition she had to apologise to her unfortunate victims. At least, they said something about apologising in Anger Management. Faith had been forced into Anger Management since she entered Prison, along with a detox programme, and two courses of anti-psychotics, and three courses of sedatives. Solitary confinement lasted longer than she would have liked. Prison was an all around drag but she was better for it.

From Wesley to Buffy, Faith was sure going through those she had tormented when she was...well...unbalanced. There was no other word for it. Forced visits to psychiatrists lead to in depth conversations about her childhood – which she lied about – and then her years growing up – which she lied about too as much as possible. Some little snippets of rage popped out now and again, but mostly she was calm, and detached and she ...well she didn’t want to talk about herself, her past, her life. Most of her rage had been expressed towards perfect Buffy Summers who thought she had the power to make all the decisions and had all these friends just waiting to back her up no matter what, and she was jealous. Faith wanted that. Now she knew there was no one but one dead guy she could trust in this world. For some reason she had believed Wesley, so maybe one and a half guys. She was going to have to trust Wesley from now on. She couldn’t trust anyone else. ”No. Not since the coma. Don’t even hate her anymore,” Faith admitted freely.

”Oh jee, he fell for that?” Faith said. She had the whole soul thing before and while she was the one who was tricked it was only because Rupert the Bear back there got to the Shaman first. Or the damn Shaman owed him one. Whatever. The soul was a sensitive subject for Angel. She had only tried to attack it once. Why would she do that, when she could attack Buffy and make them both suffer at once? ”Right...” Faith searched a pocket for a ticket for the bus and gave it to Wesley. The money was of course stolen but if Wesley was going to lecture her on that crap she might just have to punch him for the sake of the old days. How else was she going to get here besides stealing money?

”You think it’s like...destroyed?” Faith asked. That would be very bad indeed. She wasn’t sure she could bear it if Angel was lost to them. She’d have to but Angelus down, and that was well and good and all but after that? He was the only iota of guidance she could glean from the world. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t much but it wasn’t something and she had clung to that. ”Or like, trapped?” Faith asked. She wasn’t sure what could happen to a soul. What happened to it when it was forced from a body but not going to any afterlife dimensions...or did it? Where was Angel now? Where did he go the last time? Did he even know? ”Yeah. Diane said it was the first big bad,” Faith said with a shrug. She didn’t know much beyond that. Diane was a long time ago now.

”For what it’s worth...I wasn’t really trying. I...shouldn’t have used you as bait”

There was no “sorry” amongst Faith's words but Wesley could see that the intention behind them had been to apologize for her deeds. This was something he never really expected out of her. Of course, what she had done to him had been absolutely horrible and it was good to know that she felt some kind of remorse over her actions, that she was aware of the fact that her actions had not been right. It was a clear sign of the fact that Angel had not been wrong in granting the Slayer a second chance, as there was a trace of humanity left in her. As good as it was to hear Faith admit to the wrongfulness of her actions, Wesley lifted his hand in a gesture of dismissal. ”What happened, happened and, in the end, I think it's safe to say that what happened that night benefited us both, didn't it?” He had gradually left his ridiculous, whiny self behind, whereas she, with Angel's help, had managed to fight with her inner demons and tame them. Wesley was not naďve to imagine that the imprisonment had turned Faith into a completely docile and good girl, not at all. Prisons were the kind of environment in which people usually became rougher than they had been, in which they learned to use violence if they wanted to survive. Wesley imagined that Faith learned how to use violence only when she wanted to survive and only when it was the last chance. For the sake of everyone he held dear and that lived in the house behind him, he hoped that his speculation wouldn't turn out to be false.

As willing as he was to believe that Faith had really changed and became a better person since the last time he saw her, Wesley was not ready to fully believe in the fact that she had gotten past the resentment which she carried for Buffy. At any rate, he was convinced of the fact that there was more than just resentment coming from Buffy's side – and Xander's and Willow's, for hurting their friend, Rupert's for hurting his former Slayer – and he could not see any of these ill feelings doing any good to Faith's attitude towards Buffy and towards the people that cared for Buffy. He needed to have a discussion with them before they saw Faith on the streets and approached her. Wesley was well aware of the fact that he had released a time bomb, so he had to make sure of the fact that no one would make her explode. They had enough to worry with Angelus on the loose and the First Evil running his secret plans into the background. They could not afford Faith having a breakdown and becoming another threat on the list. Surely the Scoobies could try to act civil and accept that Faith wanted to help Angel – perhaps more than they did. ”I think it would be wise if you avoided meeting her”, Wesley advised. ”You would not see eye to eye on the issue of Angelus.” And there was a considerable risk that the contradiction would lead to a potentially grave conflict.

”Oh jee, he fell for that?”

”They went right for the weakest point”, Wesley defended Angel. ”Not even Angel can be that strong as to be willing to live for an eternity avoiding every single opportunity to feel happy. I understand his willingness to submit himself to a ritual that could have made his soul permanent.” What he couldn't understand was the carelessness. Had they been in Los Angeles, Wesley would have made Angel wait until they'd have investigated the mystic that offered that chance, they would have come up with a way to verify whether it was real that the Powers had sent him with this reward for the vampire. Angel should have known better than to let a mystic tamper with his soul and, if anything, the very fact that he was in Sunnydale, close to Buffy, should have made him more cautious in matters that involved his fragile soul. He would have a talk with Angel about it when the soul would return where it belonged – assuming he managed to forgive him for what Angelus had done to Fred. Wesley reached for the bus ticket which Faith offered to him, refraining himself from asking how she got the money she used to buy it. He could imagine what the answer was. Reaching into the pocket of his pants, he pulled out a pen and wrote down his cell phone number, then offered the ticket back to Faith. ”I might not always answer right away but I shall call you back as soon as possible.” Things were complicated with Fred, so his availability was heavily depending on her condition.

In response to Faith's question, Wesley shook his head. ”No, a soul cannot be destroyed. It is immortal. As far as we have learned, it was trapped. We need to figure out how or where, so that we may release it into the ether.” Research was coming along far too slowly, unfortunately, which was why they needed to contain Angelus before the number of his victims increased too much. ”She was right; primordial Evil. Apparently we have it to thank for the little trick that cost Angel his soul”, Wesley explained. ”He targeted Angel before and tried to make him kill himself but now it decided that Angelus made a good pawn. I believe that he is merely the distraction. A very effective distraction.” No one really had time to stop and think what the First might be up to when they were too worried with the fact that Angelus might leap out of the darkness and submit them to terrible pain before ending their life.

”What happened, happened and, in the end, I think it's safe to say that what happened that night benefited us both, didn't it?”

Well wasn't that a mature response. Faith was recategorising and reorganising everything she felt and thought she knew about Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. This man who was pompous and arrogant and had the biggest stick in the western hemisphere stuck up his tushi and changed quite a bit in the past couple of years. He was growing up, changing, being a big boy like most others in the world. he had learned much since she had last seen him. Faith herself had grown up. Perhaps, and she hated to even suggest it, but they were more alike than either of them wanted or dared admit. Wesley was behaving like a mature being and she was doing her best to do the same. Faith nodded at his words. "Some things you gotta learn the hard way," Faith said referring to her time in prison. It wasn't her torture of Wesley that directly put her into prison but it was one of the things she had to atone for. Saying sorry was too much like eating ash. Sorry wasn't really in her vocabulary. had she even said it to Angel? She guessed it didn't matter. They had both done too much to simply apologise for. It was just a word anyway.


”You would not see eye to eye on the issue of Angelus.”


Faith stood there, outside Giles's home, placid, placating her slips of annoyance. Buffy. Faith did not like Buffy. She was a self centred and self involved and self important. The really riling thing was Buffy Summers didn't see that she was. Faith had learned that she had been blind to her faults- and Buffy was just as blind to hers. It was difficult to see the negative aspects about yourself. Faith learned that in her psychological examination sessions. Faith had hated those sessions with a violent passion but apparently she wasn't 'healing' unless she participated. Damn drugs and all that shit. prison hadn't exactly been pretty for the first six months but prison was exactly what she needed. It was a strict regimented regime and Faith's life had been lacking that her entire life. Angel had tried to teach her on his own but while she had trusted him, he hadn't been able to provide the strict lines of focus she had needed. With Buffy she was all over the place. With the Mayor she was all over the place. She was always doing as she pleased, when she pleased, what she pleased. Her mother had been no good at raising her. All she had wanted was a puppy. Bet Joyce would have given Buffy a puppy if she had begged hard enough.

Buffy. She would kill Angelus when it came down to it. She had the strength to do it. She had done it once. She had sent her honey to hell where he had been tortured mercilessly for what was probably more than the couple of months he had been away in their reality. Dimensions, Faith figured, didn't all travel at the same speed. how could they? Besides, even if it was just a couple of months it definitely felt longer. Faith wasn't sure if it was an admirable kind of faith Buffy possessed or if she was just as bad as she was and didn't realise it or was just plain twisted. Buffy, when it came down to it, would chose to punish Angelus by sending him to hell. Faith wasn't never going to do that. Faith couldn't give up on him like Buffy could. Didn't she realise the world needed Angel? Besides, the best way to punish angelus was angel right? Wasn't that what the gypsies decided? Apparently that soul was worth saving because the Powers wouldn't give him the opportunity if they didn't think it was possible or worth it. "No. I don't think that we would," It woudl probably start another war between them and that was something neither of them could afford.


I understand his willingness to submit himself to a ritual that could have made his soul permanent.”


Faith could understand it too. she wasn't stupid. she wasn't a daft lassy who didn't understand the world. faith understood the world better than most people. She lived on the streets and looked after herself. Buffy always had her mother to fall back on. She had a loving mother and whilst her father wasn't around she was sure Buffy was assured she had his love too. Wasn't it just so great for her. Faith took a break realising she was getting agitated in her thoughts. Faith had no idea what buffy wanted out of life. Angel was consistent. Faith wanted to fit in, be wanted and be loved: she always had. She always went about it the wrong way and people got freaked out like Tom did and well...or she attracted freaks like Kenny. Apparently the crazies could sense her crazy even when she thought she was completely sane. How weird was that? Whilst Faith's weaknesses were easy to exploit when you knew what they were, angel's were downright obvious. "You'd think he be more careful after I tried," Faith said like it was a run of the mill thing. "Luckily Giles stepped in, huh?" Faith said. See? She could be mature about it. She was just proving she was moving on and that was the best thing to do. Moving on. She couldn't allow the darkness to swallow her. Hadn't that been what Angel was trying to say?

"Okay, that sound researchy and you know I ain't no good at that," Faith replied. She nodded though, understanding Wesley. "Well he still needs to be dealt with either way. I haven't heard what he's up to but I can try and find out,"

"Some things you gotta learn the hard way”

Wesley had become mature enough to completely understand that, so he could only agree with Faith. Not every lesson in life could come down beautifully written on the pages of a leather-bound volume and learned after a couple of hours of enjoyable reading, while relaxed in a comfortable chair and sipping from a cup of earl gray. Life dealt lessons which were hard to encompass in writing – one could write down the story but the emotions were too complex to resonate through the written words. ”Those lessons are the ones we learn the most from and which we always remember.” During his training at the Watcher's Academy, Wesley had read the Watcher Diaries and he had participated in classes that dealt with the topic of being a good Watcher for the Slayer to which he would be assigned to. When he arrived in Sunnydale, he acted by the book but that lead to disaster. The best lesson about being a good Watcher was learned from watching Giles with Buffy and from his own failures with Faith. Pity, though, that by the time he learned his lesson, his services were no longer required by the Council.

The former Watcher gave himself a mental shake for dwelling on the past when the most urgent concerns were in the present and they carried a name: Angelus. Wesley was certain that his return would cause even more tension between the two Slayers that already shared a complicated history. As far as Wesley remembered, Buffy never understood Angel's stance on Faith and his desire to help her. He doubted that the blonde Slayer would understand why, now, Faith was the one wishing to save Angel from himself, like he did with her. ”Safe to say you and I don't see eye to eye right now either”, Wesley admitted. The wish to save Angel and help him return was far outweighed by the burning wish to have revenge against Angelus and submit him to the cruelest and most merciless of torments before turning him into a pile of dust, for the harm he did to Fred. Faith had yet to meet Angelus and suffer from his words or actions, she was probably the only one that still believed in Angel and the possibility to redeem him after everything his soulless counterpart had done wrong. As biased as he might have been, Wesley was not going to stand in Faith's way or go against her actions. He was going to help her in case she needed him. He was going to keep researching during all the time which he spent making sure that Fred was all right – as much as she could be, at any rate.

"You'd think he be more careful after I tried. Luckily Giles stepped in, huh?"

”Yes, it was fortunate that Giles knew that mystic”, Wesley answered, remembering quite well the incident which Faith was referencing. It was hard not to think that Fred had been completely out of her mind for having planned to bring Angelus out back then – out of her mind or absolutely cruel and merciless. Who knows what could have happened if the mystic she chose didn't happen to owe Giles a personal favour? ”I should have been more explicit: I understand Angel's willingness to let that mystic perform the ritual but I cannot understand his carelessness. Not every mystic out there is indebted to a Watcher; many of them are indebted to forces which would do anything to get Angel out of the game.” And that was exactly what happened, in the end. Had it really been that difficult for Angel to pick up the phone and tell him about the mystic and the offer which it presented to him? On second thought, Wesley couldn't know how things happened exactly. There was a chance that the mystic forced Angel to take the offer or leave it, without leaving him any opportunity to think things through properly. Ah, he should have never allowed Angel to come back to Sunnydale on his own. Wesley should have known that the town above the Hellmouth was trouble. Hearing Faith's next words, Wesley shook his head. ”I don't think it's a good idea that Angelus learns you are asking questions about him. You might become his next target.” What Wesley feared was not the fact that Angelus might try to physically hurt her – he trusted Faith to be strong enough to hold her own in a fight against the vampire. The former Watcher feared the fact that Angelus would start pushing all the wrong buttons and awaken Faith's criminal instinct. ”You need to outsmart him, Faith.”

”Those lessons are the ones we learn the most from and which we always remember.”

Lessons were difficult to learn. It was no mean feat to walk away from an experience and not repeat the performance because you didn't quite take in what the world was telling you. It took Faith a long time to see that change was not only necessary for the safety or others but for her own mental and physical health too. Her lesson took a long time to sink in and then she had to do something about it. She had to force herself to move and fix her life. She was so out of control that it had taken a sharp slap on the face, knife to the gut and a coma to change her perspective. And she remembered it all so very clearly. There wasn't a detail she had forgotten, there wasn't an element to it that she couldn't taste and it wasn't something she took lightly either. Her lessons had been tough but it had been the only way to get through to her. Speaking softly never had been something she registered in the past. You had to shout and kick harder than she was to get her attention - then you could drop the volume. She also remembered to never trust a guy becuase they'll probably be screwing their ex behind their back, try to turn you into a hooker or try to control you and make snide little suggestions they thought were helpful.


”Safe to say you and I don't see eye to eye right now either”


Faith's right hand side of her lips twitched in an uncomfortable, sheepish manner. torturing Wesley because she couldn't torture herself, because he represented an authority she hated and had tried to control her and tell her what to do all the time. She didn't like being reminded of the time she wanted to hurt, and did hurt every living soul she came across. She doubted Wes wanted to think bout that dank room and that chair and her charcoal dusted eyes. The good news was Faith felt no satisfaction over recalling Wesley's pain. She didn't find it funny or amusing like she once had, nor did she find it necessary. In fact, she probably could have gone even easier on Wesley than she had. If anything she had already shown restraint in the pain she chose to deal but it was doubtful he would find that knowledge comforting. She didn't. It only demonstrated how violent she was before and that it was so hard to pull in her urges and keep them strapped to her chest. Angel had understood. Angel had seen through everything - maybe it was offering him the gun that did it. Maybe it was just being him and knowing that coming back from the dark and into the light burned with an intensity only those who have committed such crimes could feel. Angel had been there for her when no one else was. He stood up to buffy and defended her. No one had ever chosen her over anyone else before. Not even Buffy. Everyone she had ever known had kicked dust in her eyes and knocked her to the dirt. "I think we understand each other better than you think," Faith replied.

"I'm a big girl Wesley. I can handle myself,"f Faith replied in an annoyed tone. "And how exactly do I do that? Not like I got a grade A education on how to trick a pretty smart deranged vampire," Faith sassed because it was her typical way of replying. Well she was working on it. What more could you want? She was no longer torturing anyone for fun. She was working on the rest.