Title: far away, long ago
Mamoru Chiba - February 20, 2011 08:58 PM (GMT)
Lifting his head from the pages of the book in front of him, Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose, closing and opening his eyes a couple of times in order to relax his eyes. Straightening himself, he frowned, the muscles in his back feeling stiff because of all the time he spent hunched over his books lately. He had always been dedicated to his studies and, as of recently, he was more focused on them than ever. Mamoru felt truly lucky for the fact that he managed to get admitted into one of Tokyo's top medical universities but part of him couldn't help but being upset over having lost the once in a lifetime opportunity to study at Harvard. Reapplying for his scholarship had resulted into a two page letter which informed him that his application had been denied. Apparently the board that analyzed the submissions hadn't been too impressed with the fact that he invoked personal reasons for not having been able to make it to America the first time he got admitted. True, Mamoru hadn't been able to explain the fact that his trip to America had been cut short by Sailor Galaxia killing him. It might have been disappointing to have lost a chance like that but, at least he still got to study what he loved. He managed to work his way towards the top students and chances were high for him to get a very good internship with one of the top hospitals in town. So many hours of study paid off in more than one way.
Studying was a good distraction from his personal life. The more he spent his time inside his apartment or inside the university library, focusing on one of the many complicated disciplines he had to become proficient in, the less likely it was for his thoughts to drift to Usagi or for him to walk into her, in one of the places which they used to frequent together. He missed his Odango. At night, when he slipped under the covers, his thoughts inevitably drifted away from human anatomy, flying towards the girl which stole his heart. Every time he thought of her, he asked himself the same question: was she happy? He honestly hoped she was, even if her happiness was by Seiya's side. Mamoru honestly didn't know whether Usagi formed a couple with the raven Starlight or if they had remained friends. It was a topic he purposely avoided in the few occasions in which he met her, or in his conversations with the other girls. He thought it was better if he didn't know – less heartache. Personally he wasn't happy but that was something which he was keeping to himself. To the others, he continued to be the same old Mamoru Chiba. While he had discovered that he had many things in common with Setsuna and that he enjoyed her company, Mamoru hadn't been able to bring himself to take a step forward and become more than just a good friend with her. It didn't seem fair towards Setsuna. Usagi would have always occupied the main place in his heart.
A glance at his wrist watched revealed to Mamoru that he spent far more time into the library than he had intended to. It was time to go home. He gathered his notes and returned the books, before leaving. The air was a bit cold but not cold enough to become uncomfortable and to make him rush towards his house. In fact... he didn't feel like going directly home. Catching a glimpse of the Tokyp Tower in the distance, Mamoru decided to head over there instead. It had been a while since he visited the sight and there was something very relaxing in watching the city lights below. Roughly thirty minutes later, Mamoru was standing on the second observation deck, his elbows on the railing and his midnight blue eyes lost somewhere in the distance.
Usagi Tsukino - February 24, 2011 07:23 AM (GMT)
All Usagi wanted to do right now was to sit in her room, watching cartoons and just sort of veg out for most of the day. She wasn't in a particularly good mood, but neither was she really in a bad mood, it was just more that she really couldn't be bothered doing anything right now. She had seen both Rei and Ami recently, so she had pretty much done the only thing that she really wanted to these days. Okay, so it wasn't that she didn't really want to do much right now, it was more just the fact that she felt tired a lot. Maybe that was because since she had come back to Tokyo everything had been different, or maybe it was just because she was genuinely tired, she wasn't really sure about which of those it actually was, but either way all she really wanted to do was sit at home, and that was what she was doing...or at least, that was what she had been doing, she had been wrapped up in her blanket watching a Disney movie called Hercules, and she had kind of been getting into it when her mother had told her to go outside and actually do something. She had actually gotten rather annoyed at Usagi recently when it came to her staying home, so Usagi herself was under the approval that her mother had managed to actually get meaner then she was before she had left, although when she had gotten home her mother had actually hugged her rather tightly, and although she hadn't really said anything to her, she had known that the older woman had missed her because, well she had seen the tears in her eyes when she looked at her, and it hade made her feel that little bit better about being back home once again.
So now that she was out of the house, Usagi had no idea what she wanted to do. She had tried calling Rei and Ami, but the two girls were busy apparently, and she hadn't bothered trying to call Minako since she knew that once again the girl would ignor eher phone or her mother would say she was busy or something stupid like that. It would be rather stupid to call Makoto since she couldn't do anything with her, and she was probably rather busy with her other friends now, and the outers just weren't really the type to randomly hang out with her...plus there was the fact that she was fairly certain that Haruka hated her now for the way that she had treated her when they were in Sunnydale. Sighing softly to herself, the blond looked up at the sky for a moment. She wondered if she should call Seiya, but she wasn't really sure what she would say to the other girl. They had gotten rather close when they were in Sunnydale, but since coming back home things had been kind of awkward.She was kind of sad about that fact, but things were really just awkward all around. She felt awkward around her friends, and she felt awkward around Seiya's friends. So basically, she felt as though she really didn't belong anywhere right now. Which, was why she ahd wanted to stay at home, so that if she bumped into someone that she knew, she wouldn't have to worry about that awkward feeling again. Brushing a stray lock of blond hair out of her eyes, she sighed softly to herself. She needed to find somewhere to go right now so that she didn't look so strange to people.
That was when her blue orbs had landed on Tokyo Tower, she wanted to be alone, and what place was better then being above everyone else? Sure it was a tourist attraction, but it wasn't usually that busy during this time of the day, and she could just change places if it did start to get busy. Heading up it, she ended up at the second observation deck. Looking around, her blue orbs landed on a rather painfully familiar figure "Mamo-chan!" she said a little louder then she had intended to, biting her bottom lip gently. Since being back in Tokyo, she had avoided going anywhere near the boy not sure how to react to him, or what to say to him or anything along those lines. Looking down at the ground, she started playing with her hands, she wasn't sure if she should just walk away, or if she should stay. Honestly, she wasn't really sure about anything right now.
Mamoru Chiba - February 28, 2011 07:29 AM (GMT)
Mamoru sighed as he found his gaze shifting to the view of the rooftops of Shiba Koen. He remained that way, lost in contemplative silence, until an all-too-familiar voice interrupted his thoughts: or blissful lack thereof as the case was just now. She wasn't the last person he expected to hear at this time of day at Tokyo Tower, but she was certainly in the bottom ten on his list of most likely. That had been part of the reason he'd come here in the first place, well that and a need to have a few moments of freedom from studying. At the sound of her voice, however, his head turned instinctively towards her. "Usako?" had left his lips before his mind could process what he was saying. That wasn't quite right: she was just Usagi to him now, maybe even less than that. Things were so confusing lately.
Though it had been some time since they'd last seen each other, she was just as beautiful as he remembered. A hundred thoughts and questions had run through his mind as he'd looked at her, but that one had beat out all the others. It hadn't felt right avoiding her like he had since they'd returned to Tokyo, but a part of him knew it had been for the best. He had known that seeing her again would make it that much harder to accept what had happened in the past year. It made it all real somehow - not that it hadn't been before, but it made him have to face it head on. Just like now, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that just yet.
He found himself leaning back off of the railing and turning around to face her properly, leaning his back against it instead. "Ah, gomen," he said, flashing her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I didn't expect to see you here." He tried not to notice the way her eyes didn't meet his or the way her hands fidgeted as if he was making her uncomfortable. He couldn't help it though, he had always been conscientious when it came to her. He found himself torn between his recent urge to avoid her and his more instinctual urge to keep her there. At length he found himself asking softly, "How have you been?"
Usagi Tsukino - February 28, 2011 11:58 AM (GMT)
Usagi couldn't help but look up at Mamoru from underneath her eyeslashes. Sure she found it hard to look at him fully, but she did want to actually look at him considering how long it had been since she had seen him. It had been around about a year since they had been back, and perhaps it was that long since she had actually seen him. Or at least, that was what she figured anyway. She had seen Seiya a couple times since she'd been back, but that was because of the fact that it was a lot easier to talk to her right now then it was to talk to Mamoru. Hearing his voice, she glanced up for a moment, the smallest of smiles appearing her on features as she heard the familiar nickname that only he used on her. She was fairly certain that she had pretty much broken his heart which was the opposite of what she had actually intended to do with him, but she truly had felt that it was the best. The fact that he had used hhis nickname for her made her wonder if things between them were actually salvagable, but then again perhaps that was just her being optimistic, something that she was definitely known for being.
Sighing softly to herself, the blond directed her gaze back down at the ground, there were so many things that she wanted to say right now, but it was hard for her to really phrase them without sounding like a bit of an idiot. She wanted to apologise to him, but she knew that no matter how many times she apologised to him, it wouldn't chane what had happened, what she had done, nothing would change that. She had a feeling that no matter who she chose out of Seiya and Mamoru, that she would be hurting someone and potentially losing herself a dear friend, something that she really didn't want to do, and yet something that she knew would actually happen no matter what she did, or how hard she tried to stop it. Perhaps that was why she had put off deciding for so long, the fear of hurting someone deeply and losing a friend. It was a horrible, horrible feeling that the girl just did not like one little bit.
Hearing his voice again, she looked up once again and nodded slightly at his words. He hadn't expected to see her, and she hadn't expected to see him. Funny how things worked out right? Hearing his queston,s he hesitated slightly a little unsure how to answer that. She could give him a truthful answer, or she couldgive him a fake answer, she wasn't really sure what the better option actually was "I...I've been good..." she said hesitantly, looking away from him for a moment "It's been hard, and kind of lonely, but..." she trailed off slightly a little unsure of how she was going to finish that sentence before she looked at him again "What about you?" she asked him, genuinely curious to know.
Mamoru Chiba - March 15, 2011 12:55 AM (GMT)
Mamoru found himself wondering if what they'd once had was even salvageable anymore. A part of him dearly hoped it was, that one day she would realize that she was mistaken, and that when she did she would know he still did and always would love her. Another part of him wondered if he'd be able to open himself up again to her after all of this. It had taken him so long to break out of his shell, and now? What had it all been for? True he still had the girls, well some of them, sort of. He still had Motoki, and he still had his dream to become a doctor. Nothing could take those things away from him.
He frowned slightly as she mentioned it being hard and lonely. He knew only too well what it was like to be lonely. After 10 years of surviving on his own, he'd gotten a bit spoiled with his Odango Atama, but this passed year had reminded him only too well of what his life was like before he'd met her. True he was still more social than he had ever been back then, but it just wasn't the same. Something was missing: she was missing. God he really was pathetic, wasn't he? He had a certain flare for wallowing, he was beginning to realize. It was part of the reason he was so fond of burying himself in his studies: less time for free thinking. Well, he didn't really believe in giving school less than one hundred percent either. . .but mostly the free thinking thing.
Regardless, he didn't really enjoy hearing that she'd been having a tough time. Yes, she'd essentially broken his heart a year ago, but he hadn't spent years protecting and fighting alongside her only to want her to suffer when things started going badly. That was probably the most frustrating thing about this whole situation. He couldn't be there to make sure she was doing all right. He could only sit around and hope that Seiya was there, or more ideally one of the girls, was there for her if she wasn't.
". . . But somehow you survived?" he offered. Perhaps he was speaking more for himself, but it was true. Despite everything, they were both still here: taking everything one day at a time. They were good at that anyway: surviving. Well perhaps in light of semi-recent events, she was just a little better at it than he was. His smile felt a little more natural this time as she asked him about himself. "Ah, about the same, actually" he informed her. "Busy with classes mostly, but I. . . " He cut himself off before he finished with "miss you." ". . .I'm trying to graduate on time," he tried instead.
Usagi Tsukino - May 1, 2011 11:07 AM (GMT)
Looking at him, Usagi couldn't help the smallest of smiles appearing on her features. Was she happy? No, but at the same time she couldn't really say that she was really upset or anything like that. Sure she regretted everything that she had done to him, but she also knew at the same time, deep down that it had been something that she had had to do. If someone had told her two years ago that she and Mamoru were going to break up, she would have laughed, or perhaps even cried, but now, well she had a feeling that as much as she wanted to cry that she wouldn't be able to anymore, almost as if she were completely out of tears, or perhaps she had matured a little bit since those days. She wasn't sure, but either way she was kind of sick of crying all of the time and she would be happy if she couldn't cry about these things anymore, and she had a feeling that she would be starting with Mamoru and hopefully things with her friends would get better not that long after it, especially with Seiya since she knew that she owed the other girl an explanation.
Playing with a stray lock of hair, she looked away from him and directed her gaze out into the horizon as she closed them for a moment, feeling the wind blowing her hair. Almost for a moment, just a moment she felt as though all of her worries could just disappear, if only the world actually worked like that, she had learned years ago that the world was nothing like the fairytales that her mother used to tell her, that your problems would never go away no matter how much you wished that they would, and boy did she wish that they would just disappear. Or...perhaps things would be better if she disappeared, maybe it was her that caused all of these issues. After all, most of the youma were usually after her more than the others, if she disappeared than he friends wouldn't have to worry about anything, and she was certain that she wouldn't be missed that much.
Sighing softly to herself, she directed her gaze back at him once again, resisting the urge to sit down or hug him or something like that. She kind of wished that she had brought Rei with her, she knew that things would have been a little less awkward with her friend around, she would know what to say when things went quiet, when she herself couldn't think of things to say. It was also moments like that when she wished that she was a lot smarter, like Ami was, the other girl always seemed to know the right things to say and she wished that she could be a bit more like that rather then randomly piping up with the first thing that came into her mind which was usually something that sounded really stupid.
At his words, she laughed softly more to herself than anything else "We're good at that aren't we." she murmured softly, nodding her head slightly as she did. Whenever things had gotten hard for her and her friends, and it had seemed as if everything bad that could happen to them was happening, they had all somehow managed to survive. and they probably always would no matter how hard the enemy tried, they would always survive. At his next words, she smiled more genuinely than the other times "That's great!" she said eagerly as she looked at him, school had always meant more to him than it had to her, so she was glad that he was getting back into it again "I'm happy for you." she said in a softer voice as she gave him another smile.
Mamoru Chiba - January 2, 2012 06:20 PM (GMT)
Watching Usagi playing with her hair, gazing into the horizon with her blue eyes, almost as innocent as those of a child, Mamoru could feel his heart beating a little faster into his chest. Staying away from her for almost an year, trying to keep his mind off her and focus, almost exclusively, on his studies hadn't affected his feelings in the slightest, after all. It was an unsettling realization. Mamoru knew that, sooner or later, he would have to force himself out of this limbo and move on with his life. The hard thing was figuring out how to do that. Going back to whom he had been before the Odango Atama entered his life was not an option. Mamoru was a completely different man – a better one, he liked to think. This better man thought that, in the future, he would be happily married to his Usako and that the two of them would have an adorable daughter (which, admittedly, could be a little too spoiled at times). That future was out of his reach and Mamoru felt somewhat stuck, missing a sense of direction for his life. Usagi had been his compass.
"We're good at that aren't we."
When the blonde's eyes returned on him, Mamoru averted his own gaze away, in hope that she wouldn't be able to tell that he had been watching her a little too intently than he should have. If someone asked him to describe the relationship between him and Usagi, it would have been impossible for Mamoru to answer. He didn't even know if "friend" described it well enough – friends didn't avoid seeing each other and they didn't dwell so much on the past, wondering what they did wrong, what they could have done differently. Fighting the urge to sigh, Mamoru gave a small smile at Usagi's words. His first instinct had been to say something along the lines of her being better than him at surviving, keeping in mind all of the times when he had the misfortune of his life ending in the middle of a battle. On second thought, he realized that his words might be interpreted differently – that she was better at surviving the break up than he was. Mamoru didn't want to sound pathetic. "We seem to be", was his chosen answer instead.
"I'm happy for you."
Was she really? Ah, such a silly thought. Usagi wasn't the kind of person that would simply become indifferent towards anything concerning him. "Arigatou", he answered and, then, heavy silence settled between the two of them. "How is school going for you?", Mamoru eventually asked, in a weak attempt to make some conversation. He wondered, however, if it wouldn't have been better if he had taken advantage of the silence to walk away and spare both of them from having to go through this awkward situation.
Usagi Tsukino - January 11, 2012 01:30 PM (GMT)
Life confused Usagi, when she had been happy she had thought that things were perfect but it seemed that things just couldn't be perfect for her. She knew that she was apparently meant to have a future with Mamoru where she even had a daughter although she wasn't certain if the daughter thing was a blessing or a curse since the last thing she remembered involving Chibiusa was the fact that she had kept on saying that she hated her, that she didn't love Mamoru and various hurtful things that had been said that night. She knew that she had argued a lot with the child particularly when it came to Mamoru, but she knew that she did love the child even if she hadn't actually said it out loud. Was she a horrible person for choosing not to go along with her preset future and in a way killing the girl? Shaking her head slightly hoping that Mamoru didn't see it she said very, very softly seeing Mamoru made her feel guilty it made her wonder if she had made the right choice those many months ago or if she just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment in her life. After all what kind of seventeen year old already knew what their future was going to be like.
Noticing Mamoru look away from her when she looked at him she bit her bottom lip gently, fighting back a few tears. She didn't want their relationship to be this awkward but she knew that she had kind of ruined things between them. She had chosen another girl over him and hadn't even done anything with said girl, she loved Seiya she knew that much but now she wasn't really sure how much and in what way. Things had been hard when Mamoru was gone and Seiya had been the one around to comfort her and actually made her feel special and loved, she had a feeling that it was that that made her want to be with her, that which had made her love her and she knew that she was hurting the other girl just as much as she had hurt Mamoru and it killed her to think of that as she wanted them both to be happy which made her think that perhaps them and everyone else would be happy without her in their lives "Hai." she said softly not really certain of an appropriate response back to his words.
Yes she was truly happy for him, he was doing what he wanted to do and she liked that, it made her think that perhaps not everything was bad right now that there was a light in their current darkness that most of them were feeling right now. Smiling slightly at his words, she raised an eyebrow slightly "You're actually asking me about school?" she shook her head with a soft laugh, everyone that knew her knew that she wasn't that good at school that she didn't have the concentration for it, but she was trying "A little better." she added feeling the need to elaborate on it "Naru and Umino have been helping me." smiling fondly as she mentioned the girl who had been her best friend for years , she realised that there was one good thing about her lack of powers and that was the fact that she could spend time with the other girl and not worry about her secret or anything like that.
Mamoru Chiba - January 29, 2012 04:34 PM (GMT)
"You're actually asking me about school?"
Mamoru chuckled softly at Usagi's answer. There was the definite proof of his inability to make a casual conversation in such an awkward situation. School wasn't exactly Usagi's forte, not by far. Mamoru could still remember that the first time he ever laid his eyes on her, she had unceremoniously tossed a crumpled test in his head, a test with a really bad score. He was never going to forget that day and what he felt when he saw her, a sensation which he found it hard to capture into words. In a way, it had felt like something clicked and helped put his life on the right track although, at that moment, he wasn't even aware of it and the fact that he felt something scared him and made him act like a jerk towards her for far too long than he should have. In retrospect, Mamoru thought that his behaviour from back then was part of the reason why Usagi had been so convinced that his silence after leaving for America meant that he left her. Too bad he couldn't turn back time...
”I guess I imagined things might have changed during this past year”, he replied with a small smile. After all, if she started a relationship with another woman – and Mamoru never imagined that Usagi would have an inclination towards a same-sex relationship – it was possible that her attitude about studies also changed. Her answer confirmed the fact that there have been changes even with respect of her studies. ”I'm glad”, he replied. ”Are Umino and Naru still together?”, he asked, in an attempt to make more casual conversation, then instantly regretted that the words left his lips. Mentioning other people's relationship into this conversation wasn't the best idea, really. Mamoru felt more uncomfortable than he already did and he imagined that the same was valid for Usagi. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his dark hair, his position shifting slightly against the railing.
”Gomen nasai”, he offered with a soft sigh. ”I didn't imagine I'd run into you tonight and I wasn't really ready to see you again.” That was the closest he was going to get to admitting that things weren't as easy as he was trying to make them seem. ”Should we try to start this conversation over or do you think it's better if I left you alone?”, he asked, a little bitterness seeping into the tone of his voice. For all he knew, Usagi could be here because she was waiting for Seiya and, if that was the case, Mamoru didn't want to be there when the woman showed up.
Usagi Tsukino - January 31, 2012 10:12 AM (GMT)
When she heard him chuckle softly at her words Usagi couldn't help but grin, anyone that knew her knew that she wasnt that good when it came to school. It was a combination of laziness and the fact that she finds school to be horribly boring most of the time. The thing she liked the most about school was spending time with Naru and of course Umino to a slightly lesser extent since he could get annoying, but Naru was her best friend and a life away from being a senshi and that was what she adored about her the most. Glancing at Mamoru out of the corner of her eye she couldn't help but smile slightly speaking of school made her think about their first meeting and how much she had loathed him it was kind of ironic how they hadn't gotten along and yet they were meant to marry. Of course their relationship had changed a lot since their first meeting and while they weren't on the best of terms right now she did truly care a lot about him even if he didn't know it or think that she did, especially after what she had done to him.
”I guess I imagined things might have changed during this past year”
Usagi had to giggle softly at that she guessed that things had changed in a way since then, back when she was fourteen she would never have even contemplated a relationship with another girl let alone loving one, but she figured that had to do with the fact that the other girl had been there for her when he hadn't of course she had found out later that wasn't his fault, but it didn't change things. Seiya meant a lot to her just like Mamoru did really "Hai, things have changed a little." she said in confirmation to his words, she still found school horribly boring but Luna had convinced her to at least try more then she used to. When he asked her about Naru and Umino she couldn't help but perk up a little bit more "Hai, Umino proposed to Naru-chan and she accepted! they have to wait until they finish school, but she's so happy." there was happiness and excitement audible in Usagi's voice as she spoke about two of her closest friends, but she was also slightly hesitant as she wasn't certain that he would want to hear something like that right now especially from her about her friends, but she was just so happy for Naru and Umino.
Hearing his words her eyes widened slightly and she nodded her head she knew that she should have just left as soon as she saw him, but she had been surprised and had in a way wanted to talk to him. She kind of regretted that now though and thought that maybe it would have just been easier to walk away from it all and not have spoken to him. Wincing at his next words and the bitterness that she heard in it, directing her gaze down at the ground she blinked back the tears that came, she was determined not to cry right now at least not where anyone could see her, she was sick of being called a crybaby or stupid and would rather appear that she had at least grown up a little bit "Iie Gomen, I ... I shouldnt have come." she turned her back on him for a moment and took a calming breath subtly wiping away a tear before turning back to him with what she hoped was a happy smile "Gomen."[/ b] she said again [b]"I didnt mean to bother you or cause you any distress."
Mamoru Chiba - March 11, 2012 06:02 PM (GMT)
"Hai, things have changed a little."
Mamoru wouldn't have said that things changed only a little. Maybe Usagi developing a little more interest in the academic field could be labeled as a small change but other changes were very dramatic ones. Her relationship with a woman was one of the important changes. The other, most dramatic one, was the lack of their powers. They were simply Chiba Mamoru and Tsukino Usagi now – the past was the past and, as for the future, none of them would become king or queen of the planet, ruling over the entire planet from a palace made of crystal. Usagi found someone that was making her happy, so Mamoru had to do the same, even if the thought that there might be someone out there that would make him forget his Odango-Atama seemed downright ridiculous. He didn't think that he would be able to really forget Usagi, to completely get past his feelings for her. Mamoru was aware that it wouldn't be fair towards any woman that would happen to develop feelings for him, that it would be like a constant cheating, in a sense. He couldn't order to the heart to change its feelings, though. Things would have been much easier if that was possible.
What frustrated Mamoru a little was the fact that he couldn't tell Usagi how much he still loved her and that he wanted to be with her for the rest of life, in spite of the fact that their future wouldn't be the one that they learned about when Chibiusa traveled to this century. He couldn't prove to her that he cared for Usagi, not for Serenity, because she had someone else and Mamoru thought that the best thing to do was to bow out instead of fighting for her. He felt compelled to respect Usagi's choice and not confuse her by talking about what he felt but he hoped that, by now, she understood that his leaving for America to study had nothing to do with him not loving her and wanting to find someone else.
Brushing such thoughts aside, he gave a small smile to the news about Usagi's best friends. ”Congratulate them on my behalf. I hope they will be happy together.” Marriages out of love were rare in the Japanes culture, so it was refreshing to hear that one was going to happen. Seeing how Usagi reacted to his words, Mamoru felt a pang of guilt. He didn't plan on making her feel guilty over ruining is evening; it was not like she knew he was there and purposely sought him out, to remind him of what he had lost. The raven-haired man shook his head at her. ”Don't apologize, you can't have known I was here. You didn't bother me, Usagi-chan, don't guilt yourself over it.” He moved to walk away, placing a hand on her shoulder when he walked past her. ”It was surprising but I'm glad to have seen you.”
Usagi Tsukino - July 7, 2012 10:29 AM (GMT)
Usagi had never expected things to go the way that they had, and she knew that saying that things had changed a little was a bit of an understatement but that was the way that the world worked really, things changed every day in ways that you never expected them to although sometimes they did stay the same. She had never expected to fall for a girl, especially when she had Mamoru but thinking back on it she had to wonder whether or not she truly loved Seiya or if what she thought was love was merely her affection for the girl that had been there for her when she needed someone the most. It was because of the fact that she was tired of thinking about these things that she had turned to studying with Naru and Umino, it distracted her and it meant that she was around two of her closest friends since it seemed like none of her other friends really wanted to talk to her these days.
Did Usagi really doubt that Mamoru had loved her? Not exactly, she did know that he cared and she was certain that it was love but it was the fact that they had their past together and what had been their future and it had confused her. She had loved the idea of marrying him and having Chibiusa but it was just too difficult to differentiate between her feelings and those of Serenity's because yes they were the same person but she liked to think that she had some choice over whom it was that she loved. It was the same for him, did he love her or Serenity or did Endymion love Serenity? She almost wished that the two of them hadn't been who they were because then they would have had a chance to know what they were feeling without all of this other stuff to worry about.
When he told her to congratulate Naru and Umino she nodded her head with a smile knowing that the two of them would be grateful for that. "They'll be happy to hear that." If she weren't happy for her friends a part of her would be jealous over the fact that the two of them had the kind of relationship that she thought that she would have had with Mamoru, but there was no way she could ever be jealous over her friends' happiness because they truly deserved it. When he rested his hand on her shoulder she looked up at him with wide eyes for a moment before she threw her arms around him in a hug "I miss you." she whispered softly more to herself than to him, sniffling softly as she did. She stood there for a moment before she realised what she had done. Jumping back from him quickly she bit her bottom lip and looked at the ground "Baka." she muttered angrily to herself "Gomen, I shouldn't have done that." yes she had wanted to, but she really shouldn't have acted on her feelings because it was just going to make things worse for them.