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 Arj and Poopy cookbook, free 6" stilettos with every purchase
badpony
Posted: Mar 19 2009, 02:02 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Where'd my brownie recipe go? Dang! I can't find it!!!! Ratz.
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badpony
Posted: Dec 10 2008, 02:40 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



I've got a new one...this one comes from Krist Novoselic, formerly of Nirvana...he and his wife, Darbury, live just south of here in the Deep River area, just past Naselle.
Sunshine Cake


Sunshine Cake:

female leaves of marijuana
1 carton creamy smooth tofu (extra firm)
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1 cup dark brown sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
a handful of pecans (or any other nut)
a touch of cinnamon
and a splash of strawberry vinegar.

Directions:

Grind as many leaves as possible until like dust.
Add tofu and mix until consisistency is green goo. Add flour, cocoa, sugar, and oil.
Periodically lick the spoon.
Mix in baking powder, nuts, cinnamon and vinegar until dark, dark green.
Pour into pan.
Bake at 350 degrees...



He doesn't say HOW LONG, though...
Stupid stoners...
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badpony
Posted: Feb 2 2008, 08:44 PM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Don't forget standing in the middle of the street cussing everyone out and kicking cars...and letting pitbulls lose...
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Artemis Anoush
  Posted: Nov 13 2007, 06:50 AM


Lead Boobinator of the Killer Rack Society


Group: Members
Posts: 748
Member No.: 122
Joined: 31-October 04



Southern Comfort

When are you coming out to LA so we can get sloshed?

I want video of you flashing on lookers screaming "Woohoo!"

Its for the grandchildren. =P
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badpony
Posted: Nov 12 2007, 09:35 PM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Depends...what IS SOCO? I'm still trying to figure out Faygo Pop Diet Frosh.....
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Artemis Anoush
  Posted: Aug 27 2007, 06:36 PM


Lead Boobinator of the Killer Rack Society


Group: Members
Posts: 748
Member No.: 122
Joined: 31-October 04



Hey Marie

I got a big bottle of SOCO I wanna crack open.

Got any recipes for me?
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badpony
Posted: Nov 15 2006, 06:59 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Hey, another new recipe!

This isn't one of mine, it's from mikeschuster.com

Being a multiple cat owner, and being on Arj and Poopy, I thought this was rather apropos!


I made these a few times for Halloween parties - they were a big hit both times!!!

Here is the recipe for the infamous disgusting cookies that look like cats shit (rolled in Grape-Nuts, which makes lovely fake kitty litter.) There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown). The author seldom measured carefully, so the amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar, they may be tastier but they won't look like cat shit.

Chocolate Turd ingredients:
1/2 cup honey
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder
Grape-Nuts cereal

Gingerbread Turd ingredients:
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup molasses
2/3 cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine, or lard
1 egg
2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
Spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp each) Grape-Nuts cereal

Mix-ins:
Coconut = tapeworms
Chocolate chips = chunks of shit!
Butterscotch chips = diarrhea!
Peanut butter chips = diarrhea!
Cooked spagetti or ramen noodles = roundworms
Corn = self explanatory!
Peanuts = chunks

To Make:
Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute).
Add the butter, (I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if any.
Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff.
Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.

Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge.
Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat turds.
Roll logs in Grape-Nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (about 20 minutes, but this varies so watch them.)

Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of Grape-Nuts, with a cat litter scoop. Since I didn't have a litter box handy to hold this mess I made one by cutting a plastic shopping bag open and taping it to the cardboard used to hold two 12-packs together to make a case. You get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. Last year I melted some peanut butter on the fake turds - nice effect! Also used plenty of coconut. Mixing brown sugar with the Grape-Nuts sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous.

Keep an eye on any cats that may be in the area or you may end up playing a form of Russian Roulette!
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badpony
Posted: Oct 31 2006, 11:01 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Okay, kids, cooking lesson for today. When the "Joy of Cooking" says to cut an 'x' in each chestnut prior to roasting, why do they do that? Well, it's so the damn things do't EXPLODE in your OVEN! Learn from my mistake kids. No 'x' = POOM! Not really a 'boom', but loud and scary enough, plus chesnut goes flying all over the inside of the oven. Also, if you try to hurriedly take them OUT of said oven, the cooler air outside said oven causes MORE to explode, all over YOU! Hot chestnut is not comfortable on bare skin. So, when chesnuts are roasting on an open fire/oven/heat source and Jack Frost is nipping at your nips (as he quite is in the Pacific Northwest lately...icy, icy, icy...dress warm, Arj...), make sure them chestnuts have the 'x' cut in them, or suffer the consequences.

On a side note, my cats LOVE roasted chestnuts.
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badpony
Posted: May 17 2006, 09:46 PM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



These are dipped in chocolate, too!!! Chocolate GANACHE???? Hello??? Damn Armenians...stealing more recipes...speaking of, when do we get some ARMENIAN recipes? Ones that haven't been stolen from the Greeks, French, or Turks? (I'm waiting to get smacked hard for the last one...) Cream puffs are definitely French. Obnoxious and time consuming to make, full of butter and sugar, and a ridiculous name like 'choux pate' for the dough.

And I've written her recently, but WHERE THE HELL DID AMNERISCAT GO???? NOT TO MENTION MIA!!!!!!
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Artemis Anoush
  Posted: May 17 2006, 05:26 PM


Lead Boobinator of the Killer Rack Society


Group: Members
Posts: 748
Member No.: 122
Joined: 31-October 04



The funny thing is if I went to the local Armo bakery they would have this minus the green and dipped in chocolate instead.

smile.gif Sweet.
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badpony
Posted: May 17 2006, 08:15 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Okay, crackerjacks...are you even paying attention? I'm going to add a new recipe...does anyone give a crap?

This can be made using very green butter, and green cream...in all phases of construction.
Cream Puffs/Eclairs

1 cup flour
1/8 tsp. salt
1 Tbs. sugar, if using with a sweet filling

1 cup water or milk
1/3 cup butter (I just use a half cup, or, one stick)

4 eggs

Bring the water/butter to a boil, quickly add the flour mix and stir quickly until it forms a ball and no longer sticks to the pan. Remove from the heat, and allow to cool a couple minutes.

The eggs are then beaten in, ONE AT A TIME, until well-incorporated.

Using a spoon, or a pastry bag, form 'globs' or tubes on an oiled baking sheet. Bake in a preheated 400 degree oven for 10 minutes, reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake about 25 minutes longer. Allow to cool a bit, then I use a chopstick to punch into them, working it carefully around to break up the eggy filaments inside, then return them to the oven, turn the oven off, and allow to cool completely. If you use green butter, they should be a funny shade of green. Not to worry.

After the oven and puffs are cooled, put the pastries in the fridge to get cold. Then, whip cream/green cream with a little vanilla, sweeten using POWDERED sugar...this gives the cream more stability. You can experiment with other flavourings, as well. Using a pastry bag, pipe the cream into the puffs, and return to the fridge.

Now, you need your ganache covering. You can use green butter in this, as well.
2 Tbs. butter
2 Tbs. Corn Syrup (I don't know if honey will work, but, might be better than corn syrup)
1 tsp. Vanilla (again, experiment with flavours)
1/2 Cup chocolate chips

Heat until butter melts, then add the ***1/2 cup CHOCOLATE CHIPS**** removing from heat, allowing the chips to melt, then stir thoroughly. While still warm and liquid, dip puffs individually, covering the filling hole, or covering completely, return to fridge to cool and 'harden'. Yummy yum yums! I used to take bite-sized ones to parties all the time, and they'd be gone in nothing flat.
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badpony
Posted: Mar 2 2006, 02:04 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



You lucky, lucky children! I'm going to give you the recipe I JUST came up with, off
1/4 cup Butter
1/2 jalapeno -- minced
1/2 yellow onion -- chopped
2 cloves garlic -- minced
1 tablespoon fresh rosemary -- minced
1/2 chicken breast -- chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup hot water
2 tablespoons chicken base
3 ounces cream cheese
1 batch crepes

Slowly melt butter in a saute pan. Add onion, garlic, jalapeno, and rosemary. Saute until onion is translucent. Add chicken, and stir well.
Once chicken is fairly done, stir in olive oil, then flour, to form a roux. Mix hot water and chicken base, and stir in, a little at a time, to roux. If it is too thick, or too salty, add more water. Once it is thickened, add cream cheese, stirring until melted.
Put 1/4 cup or so into each crepe and roll up. Can be served with extra filling over the tops. Nice with steamed asparagus or other begables.

Now for the creeps...I mean, crepes...
I use a blender, but you can use a mixer, food processor, or whisk, but the whisk might not be as smooooootttthhhhh.....

2 eggs
1 clove garlic (for savory crepes...omit for sweet/dessert crepes)
1 tsp. salt
2/3 cup milk
1 tbs. oil
1/2 cup flour

Start by blending the eggs and garlic (or, use garlic powder, if using a whisk...).
Add salt, milk, and oil. Add flour a little at a time.
Using a rather hot, small skillet (crepe pan, etc), brush a very light coat of oil, pour in a few tablespoons of batter, and quickly roll the batter around in the pan to coat the bottom. Cook a minute or less. Loosen edges, carefully flip, and slightly brown on the other side. Do this until you use up all the batter.

There, now you have something fancy-schmancy to impress the most boorish of pests. Those who think they can only eat snooty-chow.

As usual, green oils, butters, and dairy products may be used. Great for St. Patrick's Day...at 4.20.
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badpony
Posted: Feb 24 2006, 06:32 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Apparently, you weren't good, since I never wrote a review of Arj's Seattle show back in November. Let's just say that despite my inebriated state (where I'm afraid I may have ignored Arj apres show while talking to his friend from Portland), it was very funny. He only blew one joke, then I don't know what happened while I was in the ladies' room yakking with one of the waitresses for about 15 minutes or so...

Anyway, I thought I'd give you some basics on making ice cream.
First, you start with cream and milk. To make reeeeeeeel nice cream, put the cream and/or milk in the top of a double boiler (that's a pan that fits in another, the bottom one filled with simmering water, the top one where you cook, so you don't scorch your cooking. Now, you slowly heat the milk/cream with your 'greenery'. Cannabis is lipophilic, as opposed to hydrophilic. Lipophilic means 'loves fat' as opposed to 'loves water'. In other words, THC (The High Causer) is extracted easier via a fat (oil, butter, butterfat in milk/cream) than by water. So, you simmer this mixture till you get the strength that you want. I'd say, make it rather strong. Then, this green dairy product is used in any manner you see fit, including ice cream.

You need an ice cream maker, but if you don't have one, find two large (coffee type) cans that fit inside each other. Put a thin layer of cracked ice on the bottom, sprinkle with ROCK salt (not table salt, though it may work in a pinch), put the smaller can inside, pack ice in another thin layer, more salt, continuing until it is packed to the rim. Same with an ice cream maker. But, with the can method, you have no beater, so you have to do the next step yourself, which is to continually stir the mix in the smaller can, scraping the sides and mixing it in, until it to too difficult to stir any longer, then you put the smaller can in the freezer to firm up.

A very, VERY basic recipe reads thus:
1 qt. thin cream (half and half) (this would be your green dairy product)
¾ cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
instructions
To prepare this Vanilla Ice Cream, No. 1 Recipe, first mix ingredients and freeze (they mean in an ice cream maker).

Part of the smoothness and texture of ice cream comes from air being whipped into it. Also, the quality and type of ingredients (cream is smoother than half and half or milk, the higher the percentage of cream, the fatter and smoother it will be), and the effort put into the freezing/stirring part.

Many ice creams are made with eggs, which is called the custard method:

2 cups scalded milk (green, if you wish)
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 quart thin cream (green, if you wish)
2 tablespoons vanilla
(you may replace any amount of the 'thin cream' with 'heavy cream'-AKA whipping cream)
To prepare this Vanilla Ice Cream II Recipe, first mix flour, sugar, and salt, add egg slightly beaten, and milk gradually; cook over hot water twenty minutes, stirring constantly at first; should custard have curdled appearance, it will disappear in freezing (try not to let it curdle, though...it changes the texture). When cool, add cream and flavoring; strain and freeze.

There's any number of recipes on the internet....go for it. In the heat of summer, when you're serving sundaes, shakes, malts, and cones that are getting everyone higher than a kite, you'll thank me. Or despise me. I don't really give a shit.




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badpony
Posted: Nov 20 2005, 06:54 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Okay, time for some new recipes. I thought a nice little teriyaki blend might be nice.
But, it’s another of my dash/pinch/bit recipes. Or is that what I do on a date? What can I say…I’m being watched by a koala on my monitor. And I have a pulled muscle in my shoulder/back. And it hurts. A lot.
Okay, teriyaki sauce:
About 1 cup brown sugar (dark or light, I don’t give a rat’s ass)
2-3 tablespoons of cider vinegar (or whatever…anything but white vinegar)
1-2 cloves garlic, grated or finely minced
2 teaspoons powdered ginger
1 tablespoon sesame oil
soy sauce—1/2 cup or more
mix everything together, let sit to dissolve sugar, shake some more, test flavour, add more soy sauce if needed, then do whatever the hell you wanna do with it.


Chocolate Chip cookies—for Bern, who owes them to Squooshie Anoushie for scaring her.
¾ white sugar
¾ packed dark brown sugar
1 cup softened butter
1 tablespoon vanilla
½ tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Baking soda
2 eggs
2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts

Mix the sugars, salt, baking soda, salt, vanilla. Beat in butter till fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time, until well mixed. I generally stir in the chips and nuts at this point, so they mix in better, then gradually mix in the flour. Then I chill it a while, then roll it into balls about the size of walnuts, and slightly flatten them on the baking sheet. Bake at 375 degrees F. for 9-11 minutes. Putting the oven rack a little higher helps keep them from inadvertently burning, and turning the sheet around halfway through baking helps them bake for evenly. You want them set, and golden, but just a little more golden on the edges. Mmmmm….good with milk, hot cocoa, or whiskey.


Have fun! And maybe, if you're reeeeeeal good, I'll write a review of Arj's Seattle show.
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badpony
Posted: Oct 19 2005, 07:23 AM


Squirrels know how to PARTY!!!


Group: Members
Posts: 1,190
Member No.: 105
Joined: 13-October 04



Okay, girlygirls and girlymen...here's how to make your hands hand-holdingly, kissably, soft:

Pour a bit of salt into the palm of one hand, about a tablespoon or so. Over that, pour some olive oil, then vigorously rub all over your hands. Stings a bit, but not too bad...just don't rub too hard. Then, rinse the salt off your hands, wash with a bit of mild soap, dry gently, and use either a very rich hand cream (I have recipes for those, too), or a drop of olive oil. Olive oil is also good used around the eyes after washing your face. Helps keep wrinkles at bay. Wheat germ oil is good for these things too, and is high in natural vitamin E, aka--the sex vitamin.

Also, when you brush your teeth, brush your tongue, and lightly brush your lips to exfoliate, then use a good lip balm...now the lips are lip-holdingly, kissably soft, and your breath doesn't stink.
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