like lighters in dark, (A LITTLE BIT REBEL)

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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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it was one of those days, again. one of those days when alec got bored and left his job around noon because really, who was going to stop him? he felt bad about it of course, but really, it wasn't like he'd leave the shop completely empty and the sun was shining and he just wanted to be outside. the other guy who worked days with him was more than content to sit behind a desk all day and, while alec was usually all for sitting around reading, it was gorgeous out and it had been at least... three weeks since he'd last ditched work. and ditching wasn't even the right word! he didn't ask to be paid for the time that he was skipping so it wasn't like he was doing anything wrong, was it? was it?
<p>
it didn't really matter.
<p>
he was free and whether it was right or wrong, nobody was stopping him. so he pulled a light hoody over his t-shirt, grabbing his keys and ipod and headed down the streets of canterbury toward the park. as he walked, alec listened to the the not-quite-peaceful sounds of the bee gees belt out from the tinny speakers of his ipod. canterbury was usually pretty empty during the days; everybody under eighteen was at school in ellison, pretty much everybody else under twenty-two was out on the stratton campus and everybody with a real job was working. but that was okay- one of the bright sides to never having really grown up completely was that alec could entertain himself for a while without relying on other people.
<p>
when he was younger, that self-occupation had mostly consisted of pretending that he was one of various superheroes and attempting to jump off the highest part of the playground castles. to put it simply, those days had rocked. nobody had judged him for it- they'd just assumed [correctly] that he was a five year-old boy with way too much energy and a hyperactive imagination. now if he loitered around the playground at any hours of high activity, it tended to result in a lot of awkward stares from mothers who probably thought that he was going to attempt to prey on their helpless little children. even if he'd ever bothered to attempt to explain that he'd much rather just swing next to them than care what they were up to, it wouldn't have really mattered. they would've thought the same thing.
<p>
today though, the playground wasn't really as attractive as it usually was, despite being quite free of hawk-eyed mothers and their toddlers. instead, alec headed for the nearest tree. he just wanted to doze in the sun and relax. he didn't have anything in particular that he was stressed about but did you really have to, in order to want some relaxation time? and what better place to just enjoy the mid-afternoon sun than from a tree with an awesome vantage point of just about every place in the park. when he'd first come to canterbury for his freshman year of high school, he could climb a lot higher than he dared to now. but even sitting ten feet above the ground made him feel very... important? powerful? awesome? the exact word wasn't important.
<p>
settling into a big y where a large branch connected with the trunk of the tree, alec skimmed through his ipod looking for a good playlist to fit his current mood. he didn't really know what he was feeling. probably not theme songs or anything too heavy. just light.
<p>
he had finally settled on a playlist to choose when he noticed somebody else walking through the park. it wasn't completely abnormal but the fact that they weren't of retirement age was enough to catch his attention enough to distract him- and cause him to accidentally let his ipod slip from between his fingers. oops. suddenly grateful that he'd invested ten bucks in a cheap cover, he watched it bounce in the green spring grass below him. too lazy to climb out of the tree himself, alec called out to the other person, "hey! sorry! any chance you can toss my ipod up to me?"
<p>
tag: open! [so you!] words: like 700-ish? notes:

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;"> jayla needed to get out of her apartment. being stuck in there alone with nothing but the computer and her thoughts was not how jayla wanted to spend her day. that was the unfortunate thing about being forced to take night classes; jay spent her days alone in her apartment. jayla wanted to follow her release requirements, but avoiding crowds was exceptionally difficult when you got cabin fever from spending days upon days alone in your apartment. it was weird, she had never longed to be in a crowd before. she preferred to be alone which is why she had no problems accepting the release requirements of avoiding large crowds and taking classes at night to avoid busy hallways. but now that she was forced to be alone, it was like some form of torture. but you always want what you can’t have, isn’t that just how it goes?<p>

jayla wrote a quick note and left it on the kitchen counter. gone for a walk, be back soon. jayla xx. she knew natalie wouldn’t care that she had gone for a walk, but normally jayla was home to greet her when she arrived, and she didn’t want her to worry. jayla slipped out of her pajamas and put on a summer dress with a cardigan. she put on her favourite pair of white crochet toms and went out the door, locking it as she did. it was nice to have some time to yourself in which you could go for a walk, especially when the weather was nice and warm enough not to have to swear a sweater and jeans. although jayla wasn’t comfortable with herself completely, she enjoyed wearing dresses and shorts over jeans and sweaters. the weather that came with dresses and shorts, the sunshine, was what made her happy.<p>
when jayla had first been diagnosed as bipolar, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. finally she knew exactly why she had her horrible mood swings. but after that she had been locked inside a hospital, treated as if she was insane. jay knew that she wasn’t crazy, she just couldn’t control her temper or her sadness. in reality she couldn’t control anything about herself and that was scary. that was why they kept her there. she didn’t really make much progress while she was in there, she still wasn’t in control of herself, but they felt she had spent enough time and improved enough to release her. jayla was grateful to be out, walking around the courtyard whenever the sun was shining wasn’t enough for her. jayla wanted to enjoy her freedom and now that she was finally able to she was going to take full advantage. this was pretty close to the first time she had gone out on her own since she was released.<p>
finally as she arrived at the park, it was only a short walk from her apartment so she hadn’t even begun to enjoy the sunshine yet. she paused at the park’s entrance, breathing in the fresh air, letting it calm her. it was nice to feel… nothing. to feel just a sense of calm. no anger, no stress, no anxiety. the park was pretty much empty so there was no big crowd to give her an attack, everything just seemed perfect for her. as if this day was made for her to get out of her apartment, stress free, guilt free. she wasn’t even breaking her release requirement of staying away from crowds. jayla smiled to herself as she made her way into the park, letting the sun hit her face, her keys jingling in her cardigan pocket.<p>
jayla was completely in her own serene thoughts that she didn’t even notice the ipod drop in front of her. she was only drawn into reality when she heard a voice coming from above her. she stopped short and her head snapped up, eyes wide and heart pounding. <b>“the fuck?”</b> she muttered. who the hell was sitting in a tree, dropping things? she should have known it was alec. she put her hand on her chest and allowed herself to smile. <b>“you scared me to death!”</b> she yelled to him, bending down to pick his ipod out of the grass.<p>
jayla was genuinely happy to see alec sitting in that tree. she hadn’t seen him since she was released from the hospital, and he was someone she could go to no matter what she was feeling. he had never judged her for her mood swings, and she felt comfort in that. <b>“how on earth do you expect me to get your ipod up to you?”</b> she surveyed the tree, pretty much baffled as to how alec had gotten in there in the first place. <b>“i’d probably drop to my death if i tried to get up there.”</b> she said sarcastically. of course the ten foot drop probably wouldn’t even sprain her ankle, but she had to tease alec for childishly climbing the tree in the first place. classic alec webb.<p>
<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 692. <b>notes:</b> LUV U!
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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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<center><div style='width: 300px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size:10px; line-height:91%; text-align:justify; overflow: auto; margin-bottom: 5px; padding-bottom: 20px; height: 320px; padding-top: 5px; margin-right: 5px;'>"i don't know if that's language particularly appropriate for a young lady," alec began before actually looking down at the person who'd had the fortunate luck to be the first one to stumble across his hiding spot. but then something about the voice clicked in the back of his mind and he leaned forward, trying to figure out if he'd actually heard the voice properly. he peered down below him as the familiar voice spoke back and almost fell out of the tree in the process, from a mixture of surprise and the contortions that leaning over put him through. grabbing the thick branch near his head to steady himself, he couldn't help but let a grin spread from ear to ear as he recognized the face, matching it perfectly with the voice that he'd heard. "well i'll be if that isn't miss jayla mc-gee. what's up kid? i feel like i haven't seen you in forever!"
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well, this hadn't been what he had been expecting when he'd seen somebody come toward him but it was a whole lot better than it. it really had been ages since alec had seen jayla- or at least, it felt like it. it had been what… five, six months? maybe a little bit longer? whatever length of time it had been, it had been long enough, especially for somebody like alec who liked other people's company and wasn't the type to just forget about a friend who seemed to have literally disappeared off the face of the planet. about a million questions immediately popped to his mind as he looked down at her from his perch in the tree, not the least of which was where the hell she had been since disappearing without so much as a text or an im saying goodbye. there were plenty of rumors about it, of course- there always were, some more believable than others- but come on. he'd grown up in hollywood and canterbury, not heaven. people lied all the time. alec had long since learned to take everything with a grain of salt, even if he was hearing it from the person themselves. but for the time being, he stifled all of the queries. there'd be time for those later, no doubt. right now, he was just glad to see her again. leaning out a little ways from the trunk of the tree, keeping his grip on the branch firm, he gave her a cheeky grin and nodded his head upwards. "well, you could still climb the tree. i mean, if i already scared you to death, you wouldn't suffer much from a fall, now would you?"
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alec had really missed jayla. he'd been ahead of her in school at ellison but they'd been friends for ages- several years at the least, if his memory served him correctly. she could be kind of a hard person to be friends with at times, given the mood swings that she'd suffered from since almost the first time that he'd met her. and alec could have hazarded a guess that that was part of the reason why she wasn't the type of person to have an abundance of friends around at all times. but that didn't mean that she was any less fun to spend time with at all of the other times when they had hung out through the years. it was kind of one of those times when you just had to weather the storm to get through to the best weather. and he wasn't going to pretend that he was particularly good at weathering it out- he'd always been a little bit more of the type to pull out an umbrella than to try to actually tough it out. but he tried, he really did, and right now he would have done just about anything to just hang out with jayla again, even though being her friend came with some additional baggage.
<p>
leaning back against the trunk casually, alec laughed, still looking down at his friend below him. "no, but really, i won't make you crawl up here if you're not up to the challenge." he chuckled to himself lightly, proud of his little challenge to her. he wasn't even sure if there were enough space up in the fork that he was currently taking up residence in for the both of them but maybe they could have squeezed into the tight space. or he would be perfectly content to clamber down and join her on the ground- he wasn't really picky. the grass would likely have been far more comfortable than the tree bark anyhow, though the view was certainly better up where he was. "or i can come join you down there. the choice is yours, gorgeous."
<p>
tag: jayla/nicole [so you!] words: 794 notes: love u too miss nikki <33

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;"> jayla hadn’t been called “jayla mc-gee” in god knows how long. it was kind of a thing alec had created himself, back in high school. jayla didn’t have too many friends in high school, so having a friend who liked her enough to give her a nickname, no matter how ridiculous, was something she would never forget. it was almost pathetic the large smile that was now plastered on her face after hearing that. <b>“i’m only a year younger than you, i am no kid.”</b> she told him, crossing her arms over her chest, ipod still in hand. she peered at him up in the tree, grasping a branch above his head. <b>“please don’t fall out of that tree i don’t like blood.”</b> she said bluntly, wrinkling her nose. <b>“but yeah it’s been too long. just enjoying the sunshine.”</b> she spread her arms out, gesturing to the lovely park and all of the sunshine around them.
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if jayla had come across someone she didn’t know, the person would be lucky if she picked up their ipod at all. normally jayla didn’t like to socialize really, and she was looking forward to some time on her own. she wasn’t planning on spending much time out, either, really. she just wanted a quick walk through the park, alone, to get some fresh air and enjoy the lovely weather. but now that she had run into alec her plans had taken a totally different turn. sure, if it had been pretty much anyone else she wouldn’t have even handed them their ipod, or she would have thrown it to them and walked away even if they didn’t catch it. jayla wasn’t inconsiderate, she was just uncomfortable in social situations. but people sometimes took the time to get to know her and one of those people was alec. she was very grateful for his friendship and she would never take it for advantage. alec was one of the few people jayla felt she could be totally herself around. it was hard for jayla to open up to people, but once she did she gave them all of her trust. why bother getting to know someone that was pushing you away if you were just going to stab them in the back at the end? the people that jayla befriended were true friends, none of this fake bullshit. she didn’t do high school mean girls crap. she liked straight forward honesty. she felt her eyes roll up to the sky as she shook her head. <b>“you’re ridiculous and your logic totally sucks.”</b> she told him, one hand on her hip, the other above her eyes to shield them from the sun as she looked up. <b>“don’t you think the branch is going to break, looks like you’ve gotten fatter since i last saw you.”</b> she joked.<p>
jayla was kind of worried the topic of her sanity was going to be brought into question. she had heard things, people talking. people were calling her nuts, psycho. but she was none of the above, she was perfectly sane, she was confident in that fact. it was hard to explain to people feeling so out of control that you get committed to a hospital. it was kind of embarrassing, which is why jayla decided not to tell anyone. of course if people asked she was honest with them, and of course people heard things. some of the rumours were just outrageous, but there was no way in stopping the rumours, which is why jayla didn’t bother. there was no use in telling people the truth when they were already strong believers of the lies they were hearing. sometimes it was pretty much impossible to explain to someone just exactly what was wrong with her. maybe that was because she wasn’t quite sure herself.<p>
jayla knew she was bipolar, that wasn’t a tough pill to swallow. it was an honest diagnosis, but there was so much more to go with it. jayla couldn’t explain the feelings she got that brought about mood swings. when she had been frightened by alec shouting at her from the tree, she felt the anxiety in her stomach. it was as if she had eaten bad mexican food the way her stomach rolled. she had taken breaths then to calm herself, and the familiar face also helped to calm her. if it had been a different situation the breathing may not have helped and she could have had one of her panic attacks. she hated being out of control, but it was something she had to deal with.<p>
jayla’s heart was pounding, even more so when he called her gorgeous. not often was she called gorgeous, even if it was by just a friend. jayla had one boyfriend in high school, but she had broken it off. she didn’t trust easily and that fact made relationships exceptionally difficult for her. but what could you do? it was just who she was. <b>“the only reason i’m not climbing up there is because i am a mature woman, not a child.”</b> she told him with a small smirk. plus she didn’t feel like climbing all the way up there and it looked dangers, but she didn’t want to tell him she was being lazy and a chicken.<p>
<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 725. <b>notes:</b> YOU BETTER SLUT.
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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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<center><div style='width: 300px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size:10px; line-height:91%; text-align:justify; overflow: auto; margin-bottom: 5px; padding-bottom: 20px; height: 320px; padding-top: 5px; margin-right: 5px;'>"psh, okay then, grandma. i forgot to bring your tea." alec couldn't help but tease jayla. alec teased all of his friends- if you didn't get teased at least once a day from him, then you weren't his friend. it didn't help that he found himself incredibly funny, even when nobody else did. he didn't intentionally laugh at other people's expense but sometimes he couldn't help but crack a grin at a joke he'd made when the other person was finding his antics decidedly not funny. it was part of the reason that he didn't take offense to very many jokes at his expense- his mother's favorite expression had always been "don't dish out what you can't take," so he just decided to take a lot, rather then reining in his own dishing. he glanced up at the branch above his head where his hand was still placed. "don't worry, if i fall, i'll make sure not to bleed."
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alec surveyed the otherwise empty park around them. it really was a beautiful day: spring had finally come to stay, meaning no more snow, lots of sun and that the grass was finally green again. he'd read enough literature to know that if his life was a book, this was probably some sort of metaphorical moment meant to signify some sort of new beginning. but this was not a book- or so he hoped. it would be really freaky if something out there was controlling his every move. then again, so long as he wasn't predicted to fall out of the tree and break his neck, he was really okay with whatever it had in store for him. he laughed as jayla poked fun at him, sticking out his tongue at her in response. he had missed her a lot, he realized. alec didn't have very many close female friends. there just wasn't that much that a comics- and superhero-obsessed, video-game loving boy like alec could share with many girls around their age so he'd always had more good guy friends than girls. but somehow jayla had slipped into that circle and he wasn't about to kick her out. it would be good to have her back. cocking an eyebrow, he retorted, "that's a non sequitor and please tell me where my logic failed."
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he gave an exaggerated experimental tug at the branch, as if testing his weight against the strength of the branch. when it failed to move, alec returned his eyes to jayla's face, a smug look plastered on his features. "i think you're safe standing below me as my weight hasn't gone up that much. you, on the other hand, have gotten much meaner since i last saw you." finishing with a grin to ensure that jayla knew that he was joking, alec surveyed her lightly as she took precautions to try to protect her eyes from the sun.
<p>
she looked good. alec didn't really know what he'd been expecting to see- not any giant changes but maybe he'd been expecting something to be different? he wasn't deaf, even selectively. he'd heard the rumors. but then again, what exactly was a person who had been released from a mental hospital or whatever the hell people were saying now supposed to look like? it wasn't like they all came out looking ten years older and smelling of formaldehyde. that was just in the movies. so it was stupid that he could have even expected something like that to have been reality but it was still really comforting to know that she hadn't really changed outwardly. and as far as he could tell, she was still the same person inwardly as well. she was still just his friend jayla and that fact made him really happy.
<p>
alec rolled his eyes as she took a shot at the childishness of climbing a tree. been there, heard that. still climbed the damn thing. oops. but he chuckled, perching on the branch so that his feet were dangling off the edge. snickering, he began to toe off one of his shoes and smacked his forehead in a fake "duh" moment. "you're right, you're so much more mature than me! how could i have dared to suggest otherwise and asked you to climb this very child-sized tree? so rude of me." he made sure not to drop the shoe once he had removed his heel from it. at least, not yet, as he wasn't sure that his aim was good enough that he could ensure that it didn't fall on jayla's head. that would be a really bad way to start off this interaction and he would have been stuck in a tree with only one shoe to boot. so, crossing his arms, he cocked his head to one side. "and thus we reach an impasse. do i jump down to join you on the adult side of life, endangering life and limb in the process, or do you climb up in a fit of childish whimsy so we can both jump off together at a later point in time?"
<p>
tag: jayla/nicole words: 846 notes: do the slut, not the creep.

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;"> <b> “you also forgot to kindly offer to walk me across the street. and carry my groceries.”</b> jayla could take alec’s teasing, she was used to it. if it had been anyone else, she would have gotten mad, and no one likes jayla when she’s angry. but she was so used to it with alec that she didn’t mind. when she had first met him when he would tease she tended to get upset and angry, but she realized it was his form of endearment with his friends, and she began to get accept it. the only problem was his jokes could often come at the wrong times. he didn’t really care though, so that was his prerogative. <b>“much appreciated. if you do happen to bleed, i won’t be helping you at all.”</b><p>
jayla’s friendship with alec had started back in high school. she had been a year younger than him, but they had a couple of elective classes together. she had always found him exceptionally interesting. alec was a loud and carefree kind of guy, and jayla was exceptionally envious of that. she had always wished that she could get along with a large group of people, be the center of attention. but that was never who she was. she was kind when you got to know her, but that was the thing. jayla didn’t let people get to know her and most people didn’t want to bother. she was nothing special, no one saw her that way. but for some reason, alec had gotten to know her, and since then he had been one of her closest friends. she could always go to him when she felt moody or depressed or anxious. he didn’t seem to care, and jayla really liked that about him. <b>“your logic failed because, as you can see, when i said you scared me to death i was merely joking. clearly, as i am still standing in front of you, perfectly alive. meaning i could still die.”</b> jayla’s eyes were wide and she had a very serious look on her face.<p>
jayla cocked a single eyebrow as she watched alec test the branch. he was doing it for her benefit, as she knew he didn’t care about the branches weight. that was the really neat thing about alec, he took risks and did things without abandon. it was the child that was in him, she had always found it very intriguing. <b>“meaner?! please, you know i’m a kind soul. i have rainbows following me around and stuff. not mean at all, mister mistaken.”</b> she chided sarcastically. jayla knew he was joking of course, but it was natural for her to get her back up and use sarcasm as a defense mechanism in situations such as this. it was who she was.<p>
jayla nodded vigorously, allowing herself a small laugh when alec smacked his head. <b>“you’re right, it was very rude of you. i expect a formal apology and a gift basket full of cookies and chocolate.”</b> she smiled widely and tapped her foot, but when he still didn’t come out of the tree, jayla bit her lip. so he was actually going to make her climb the branches of that tree to hang out with him? she knew he would come down if she asked, but she felt as though he would almost be let down. <b>“you make it sound so horrible down here, it really isn’t.”</b> jayla told him, walking to the trunk of the tree. he was right though, it wasn’t that big at all. <b>“i swear if this thing breaks when i get up beside you, i’ll kill you, if we aren’t already dead.”</b> she said anxiously. though she knew they wouldn’t die from the fall, it was only ten or so feet in the air, not bad at all really. jayla climbed the tree rather awkwardly, nervous about flashing the world her underwear. she was even more grateful for the parks emptiness at this point. <p>
once jayla had made it to the branch alec was sitting on, she tested its strength. it seemed her had picked a strong branch, so jayla slid on it, grasping the same branch he was above their heads. she smiled brightly once she settled into her spot. <b>“guess this isn’t so bad.”</b> she grinned and nudged alec a bit. <b>“so we’re going to risk life and limb together when we decide to jump?”</b> this was so unlike jayla, climbing trees and putting herself in danger, but she had always felt a comfortable calm around alec, it was nice. she looked over to him, a nervous bubble rolling in her stomach. she took a deep breath and hunched her shoulders. <b>“aren’t you going to ask where i was? and if i’m a psychopath?”</b> she asked, her tone melancholy. she knew alec was an accepting guy, but jayla couldn’t help but to worry that this was too much, even for him.
<p>
<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 825. <b>notes:</b> DO THE SLUT, AHHH ~
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account fail jesus christ forgive me.

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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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<center><div style='width: 300px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size:10px; line-height:91%; text-align:justify; overflow: auto; margin-bottom: 5px; padding-bottom: 20px; height: 320px; padding-top: 5px; margin-right: 5px;'>"my logic is still perfectly sound. you could just be a really opaque ghost. besides, i wouldn't let you die. i would feel absolutely horrible if that were to happen." alec attempted to reassure jayla, his face shifting from a joking grin when he started talking to a more serious face and tone by the end, matching her own serious face. it was no secret that alec had trouble maintaining even a facade of seriousness at times- it just wasn't in his nature to take things that way. as a kid, it had been his way of handling the fact that everything was always too structured; his life had run on his parents' clock until he'd come to ellison and part of the freedom that he'd found in canterbury was the freedom to not live by anybody else's rules. in some ways, it made up for the fact that the price of that freedom was to live in a place where nobody was really free because they were all being watched all the time. if you didn't take life seriously, then it was hard to take anything the canterbury tales would inevitably say about you seriously. still, he really would feel awful if something were to happen to any of his friends on his watch, even more so if it was his fault, so he wasn't about to let jayla get hurt.
<p>
he laughed loudly at her following comment. it was a truth that he realized not a lot of people recognized. after having been her friend for so many years, alec was no stranger to the fact that jayla could be difficult to get along with at times. but that didn't mean that she was a bad person or mean in any way. no, she wasn't the most cuddly or all-friendly, all-the-time kind of person on the planet. but she was a pleasant person through and through at her core. and that should have been all that mattered. "are they invisible rainbows? or are you just very adept at hiding them from the eyes of fat and mistaken people like me?" still smiling, he added, "no, i'm only kidding, you're lovely."
<p>
alec rolled his eyes lightly as she requested an apology. "i apologize formally."
<p>
alec watched as jayla moved toward the tree and couldn't help but be slightly surprised when she actually started to climb it. when it came down to it, he had been fully prepared to clamber down out of the tree to join her on the ground- or jump out, he wasn't particularly picky as to how he got down. but he couldn't help but be happy that jayla was coming up to join him, as well. he took it as a good sign; whatever had happened in the past couple months of her life, she clearly hadn't lost at least a little sense of adventure. it was just further proof that she hadn't really changed in the time that he hadn't seen her- she had never been the most adventurous or daring [or stupid] person, but he'd always prided himself on being able to coax more of an adventurous side of her out. as she was climbing the tree, he responded reassuringly, "don't worry, i'll catch you on the way down. you'll be fine."
<p>
when she reached the branch where he sat, alec couldn't help but lean over and give her a brief, albeit one-handed, hug. he had missed her company and hugging your friends was only something that you could really do when they were of the opposite sex, at least in a way that wasn't completely stiff and usually awkward- at least in his circle of friends. he shrugged a little bit, looking down at where his shoe was still hanging off his foot. he tried to gauge how far they were off of the ground. it was nine, maybe ten feet… he could have probably shortened the drop to a couple of feet if he'd hung off the branch. giving her a light punch on the shoulder, he grinned. "nah, as i said, i'll go first and then i'll catch you. it'll be like when buttercup jumps out of the window at the end of the princess bride. i'll be your andre the giant. i hope you weren't looking for a westley."
<p>
alec sighed softly. so they had come to the topic of jayla's disappearance and the reasons behind it. he'd kind of hoped that they wouldn't or at least that it could be saved for another day. he felt terrible for jayla- if she was asking, it meant that she was probably getting beleaguered by other people about it. she looked incredibly defeated already, like she was worried that he was about to jump out of the tree and run away if she even looked at him. it was a terrible feeling. he couldn't blame other people for being curious about where she'd been; his own curiosity was certainly higher than usual. but couldn't they see that it was just plain rude to ask about that sort of thing? who cared where she'd been or whether somebody else had decided she was psycho? he could make his own judgment on that one. but she clearly expected him to ask and he wasn't going to turn down the chance to at least clear the air a little bit. "so, where were you? i missed you like hell. but no, i won't think you're psychopathic until you either tell me so or try to murder me."
<p>
maybe attempting to infuse even a little bit of humor into the conversation wasn't the best idea but alec didn't really know what was.
<p>
tag: jayla/nicole words: 947 notes: ugh i'm sorry if this sucks. too busy sluttin'!

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;"> jayla took a moment to think over what he had just said. it was clear he had been watching too many super natural television shows and movies, with super heroes and ghosts and villains and monsters, just as he always had. it was refreshing that he never changed, it was a good thing. he was something that she could rely on, her constant. it was always good to have someone to look to, to see that they were just the same that they had always been. it was humbling for jayla. sure she hadn’t changed too much in the six months she was gone. she may be a little quieter to strangers and a little bit moodier all around but she had hoped she was generally the same. she didn’t want the hospital to change her. <b>“no i think your logic is totally crazy and you have to stop reading your super hero stories.”</b> she joked, sticking her tongue out at him. jayla looked around the basically empty park with a slight smile. she used to come here to do homework. jayla didn’t want to live in canterbury forever, but it was her town, it was hard to let go of things like that. this was home to her and she wasn’t ready for change yet.<p>
<b>“no, they are visible rainbows to those of pure and kind hearts.”</b> she said with an airy voice, putting her hand over her own heart. <b>“and since your heart is black you don’t get the privilege of seeing the rainbows.”</b>she narrowed her eyes in alec’s direction. of course she knew that he was only poking fun at her. everyone who knew anything about jayla understood that she wasn’t the sweetest girl. she didn’t smile at everyone, in fact she rarely smiled at all. but those were just the quirks people had to get used to with jayla. and if people were willing to see jayla for who she really was, she was a great friend to them. jayla smiled, a rarity, though they were more frequent at alec, when he called her lovely and apologized. <b>“you’re too kind. but i still expect the cookies and chocolate.”</b><p>
when jayla began to climb the tree her lacey toms slipped as they weren’t shoes with much traction. but she made it up to the branch alec was seated upon. it was weird, she hadn’t done things like that in a long time, not even when she used to hang out with alec. sure she was slightly adventurous, but climbing trees was a bit wild for jayla. she dind’t climb trees just like she didn’t go to parties. they were two totally unrelated items, but they were both things jayla didn’t normally do. jayla managed to go through her entire high school career attending only two student hosted parties. jayla didn’t fare well in crowds and she didn’t drink alcohol much. the two parties she attended she went because she was forced and she sat on the couch and pouted the whole time, glaring at drunken people who told her to cheer up. but she managed parties just liked she managed getting up that tree. she smiled at alec, quite proud of herself for getting up the tree at all.<p>
when he gave her a slightly awkward, due to the fact they were sitting side by side on a tree brand, one armed hug, jayla tensed, but only for a moment. she was never a big hugger, never a big physical contact person at all really. she only had one boyfriend in her life time and it had taken her a while to warm up to him and kiss him, but she figured out a way to get over her insecurities and anxiety because she really liked him. luckily for alec the tense moment jayla felt was exceptionally brief, because this was alec, jayla had no reason to be stressed or worried. she had known this kid for a long time, so jayla returned the hug, wrapping her arm around his waist and giving him a small squeeze. <b> “i missed you, you know.”</b> she told him honestly once the two detached themselves from the hug. it was true, she missed a lot of her friends. she didn’t allow visitors aside from family in that god awful hospital she was stuck in, so she hadn’t seen much of anyone in a long time. she peered towards the ground, leaning forward and nodded. <b>“how sweet of you. nah, i didn’t like westley’s mustache. or his pony tail for that matter. and you make a lovely andre the giant.”</b> <p>
jayla let out a huff of air through pursed lips at alec’s attempt at humor. that was how he dealt with awkward situations, jayla knew this, but she wasn’t sure how to handle it herself. should she laugh and make a joke out of her diagnosis? or should she knock him out of the tree for laughing at her? she pushed down her stress and anxiety, taking a few calculated breaths, running her hands through her hair. alec wasn’t the very first person she told about being in the hospital, she had spilled it to natalie, but he was the first person who knew her before she had disappeared, so it was almost harder. <b>“i’m bipolar.”</b> jayla stated, swallowing hard. <b>“and i have anxiety issues and so i was in a psychiatric hospital or whatever.”</b> she took a deep breath and snuck a look at alec. she bit her lower lip and nodded. <b>“so when i push you out of this tree, that’s when you’ll realize i’m insane?”</b> she asked, her own attempt at humour.
<p>
<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 944. <b>notes:</b> as if ur posts could EVER suck. plz u slore.
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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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"they aren't stories, they're comic books. the basic premise is entirely different," alec rebutted, a smirk playing around the corners of his mouth after her returned jayla's stuck out tongue. he knew that there were a lot of people- his family and hollywood friends included- who found his self-professed obsession with all things superhero to have gotten old a long time ago. apparently once you hit a certain age, you were supposed to grow out of that sort of thing, which explained exactly why so many people were secretly fans. alec just didn't bother to hide it. superheroes were just…a nice way to escape reality. besides, it wasn't as though he was entirely stuck in the juvenile phase of his reading choices. he read plenty of sophisticated books. sure, it had taken him six months to finish war and peace but how many people could join him in honestly saying that they had read the whole thing?
<p>
he laughed. alec was ninety-nine-point-nine percent positive that jayla was joking when she accused him of having a black heart. just about anybody could tell that he was one of the most kind-hearted people out there. he really did mean well in just about everything that he did. people liked you when you were nice, actually liked you and not your last name. and people liked you when you were funny. sometimes the two didn't always overlap but if his jokes came off as mean-spirited, it was a misunderstanding. the people who actually bothered to get to know him- people like jayla- knew that. or at least, he hoped they did. "that greatly saddens me. i'm sure that they're quite beautiful. do i get to see them if i give you the cookies and chocolate?"
<p>
alec grinned back at jayla when she smiled at him upon triumphing in scaling the tree. he'd missed that smile. growing up in hollywood, he'd been around a lot of famous smiles. but in his opinion, even angelina jolie's or julia roberts' smiles couldn't really compare with a genuine smile from the girl next to him, even if it was small. because he knew that jayla didn't really smile all that frequently- smiles meant something. they weren't the fake ones that you saw in hollywood where people smiled because they knew they were being watched and knew they had to- jayla smiled when she meant it. he wasn't even really phased when he felt her tense slightly under his arm as he hugged her. he was just about to withdraw his arm quickly, lest he was making her uncomfortable, when she returned the hug. for a brief moment, he felt like he was back in high school… the sunny day, knocking off school, doing something stupid like sitting in a tree, just hanging out with one of his friends like they weren't supposed to be responsible adults… it was nice. he gave her shoulder a light squeeze, matching her squeeze on his waist, before letting go. he smiled lightly and even ventured so far as to give her a very light punch on the shoulder. "i missed you too, more than you could guess."
<p>
"anytime. though i guess that means i shouldn't let you in on my secret that i'm actually planning on growing out my hair. you don't think it'd be a good look for me?" alec laughed. "and thank you, lady. i'll take that as a compliment."
<p>
he tried to gauge her reaction to his comments regarding her recent stint away. alec just didn't know what was the right thing to say. he knew what people were saying and the last thing that he wanted to do was become one of them, laughing at her or saying something rude behind her back. he just wanted to have his friend back, whether somebody he didn't know had called her crazy or not. he let out a deep breath when she said that she was bipolar. he didn't really know what he had been expecting to hear. sure, it had been believable that she'd been to a psychiatric ward or whatever- while she was a perfectly wonderful person, she was less stable than a lot of people that alec knew. she reminded him of his sister in that manner. maybe that was why it had been tough for him to have her disappear- alec didn't want her to get into any trouble that he couldn't help her get out of. but a diagnosis of bipolar seemed just… it seemed extreme, didn't it? bipolar disease was something you learned about, not something that your friends got.
<p>
but that was just it. jayla was still his friend, through and through. and that wasn't going to change because of some label that somebody else stuck on her.
<p>
realizing that she was probably waiting on some sort of response and that he'd probably just been sitting here staring out at the empty park, alec turned to look at her. "wow. um. i'm sorry," he stated simply and sincerely. he wasn't going to sit here and not acknowledge that fact, at least. he thought that it would have been hell for him to find out something like that and it must have sucked for her. not quite sure how to proceed, he stumbled forward, slightly unsure of his word choice but trying to convey his good intentions. "did it help? being in a psychiatric-- did they help you figure stuff out? or…?"
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or what, he didn't really know. alec just knew that he hoped that they had helped her work through whatever she had needed to go through. sure, she probably wasn't cured- could you cure that sort of thing? probably not. but he hoped that they'd at least given her some guidance in dealing with it and hadn't just come to the conclusion that she was bipolar and dropped her back onto the streets of canterbury- though the cameras would undoubtedly have had a field day with that one. alec gave a short bark of laughter as she returned his joke, swinging his feet and looking down at the ground. "no, i'd say that you'd be perfectly warranted in that, given that i dragged you up here. any sane person would have already done it. so maybe you're insane for not having given me a shove yet."
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tag: jayla/nicole words: ~1000 notes: oh shut up. ur beautiful and jayla is beautiful too <33

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;">jayla rolled her eyes and shook her head at the boy in the tree. <b>“i’m so sorry,”</b> she began sarcastically, <b>“i’ll brush up on my comic book information. don’t want to insult you.”</b> jayla never really grasped alec’s comic book and super hero obsession. she didn’t judge him for it, that wasn’t her place, but she just didn’t understand it. she knew that lots of people liked it though. there was even conventions for it, comicon or something… jayla had never attended, but she heard people dressed up and she just didn’t understand it. it wasn’t halloween (even though jayla never dressed up on halloween either) so why were people dressing up in weird costumes? she just didn’t get it but she wouldn’t judge. she wasn’t a judgemental person really, and she was as weird as the rest of them so why should she judge?<p>
for a moment, jayla put her finger to her lips and tapped her foot in mock concentration. <b>“yeah, if you manage to bring me some cookies and chocolates i’ll say you have a heart of gold and let you see my awesome rainbows.”</b> alec already had a heart of gold, jayla knew this. he was easily the most kind hearted person she had ever come across in her twenty two years of life. but if he was going to offer her cookies and chocolate, then she would tell him he had the blackest of black hearts. who wouldn’t do the same for sweets? no one, that’s who.<p>
jayla hugged people as often as she smiled which wasn’t often at all. but alec got both of these things because he was special to her. he was someone she had known for years and she trusted him with all of her heart. why would he stick around a moody girl like her if he didn’t want to be her friend? there was nothing of value she could give from their friendship, so she knew their friendship was something real. all of jayla’s friendships were real. she knew this to be true because the people who were her friends kind of pushed (albeit lightly) into her life. she loved them for it, though, even if it had annoyed her at first. jayla let out a small breath of air and looked to the sky. <b>“i’ve missed stuff like this too. slacking off, just relaxing.”</b> the two of them may have not climbed a tree before, but they had hung out in similar situations. blowing things off to just do nothing, it was an amazing feeling. but currently jayla wasn’t blowing anything off, just taking a relaxing walk that had turned into something much better.<p>
jayla gave alec a wide eyed, unimpressed stare. <b>“you grow your hair out, i’m breaking into your apartment with scissors and chopping it off. don’t test me webb.”</b> jayla wasn’t serious. she would never break into someone’s apartment with a scissors, mainly because she didn’t know if she would remain in control of her emotions. what if she hurt alec or his roommates? she shook her head clear of any of those thoughts. <b>“as you should, sir. it was a compliment.”</b> she told him. there was nothing wrong with a friendly giant. though alec might not be tall enough for the part.<p>
alec stared out to the park for a long while after jayla had told him she was bipolar. jayla had thought he was thinking of how badly it would hurt to just jump out of the tree and leave her sitting there. jayla almost wouldn’t blame him if he did. she had just spilled a lot of information on him. he may have heard some things, but it was clear that he hadn’t heard exactly what had happened to her. she bit her lip and looked into her lap, completely embarrassed when she heard him finally speak. she let out a small sight, slightly from relief, and turned to see him looking at her. she nodded at his apology. <b>“it was nice to figure out, finally, why i’m so moody.”</b> she admitted. opening up to alec was too easy, so jayla closed her lips and let him talk once more. she didn’t want to pour everything on him the first time she had seen him since she disappeared. no one deserved that. <p>
when alec asked her if they had helped, jayla almost didn’t know what to say. had they helped? she liked to think that being in the psychiatric hospital for six months had been helpful. she had learned a lot about herself and about her problem and she had been given medication which really did help. but it wasn’t gone. jayla knew it never would be, but she wanted it to be gone, she hated being different. she hated that she would be fine one second and completely pissed the next. it was hard to deal with and she just wanted to be normal. but unfortunately jayla would never be normal. she shrugged and scratched the back of her neck. <b>“they helped me figure stuff out, yeah. but i’m stuck with it, right? it’s not something i want to be stuck with.”</b><p>
the absolutely amazing thing about alec? he made you feel better even when you were at your lowest. he had a genuine carefree personality that seemed to light up anyone’s day and that was just the kind of thing jayla needed at this point. it was alec that could make her smile when she felt her worst, he had always possessed this ability, even since she had first met him. jayla’s smiles and laughter had always been rare, but it was almost always alec that had brought it out in her. the way he saw the world was amazing and jayla was quite jealous, but she accepted the fact that she didn’t see the world that way. it wasn’t something she could control. she was introverted and angry, alec was extroverted and happy. it was who they were, and though jayla may be slightly jealous she was more than grateful for it at times like this. jayla didn’t manage to smile, but she nodded. she couldn’t smile, not about this. <b>“you bring up a great point, alec.”</b> she leaned over and grabbed on to his shirt, a sad smile finally showing up on her lips. <b>“i better prove i’m totally sane by pushing you off. makes sense to me.”</b> she said sarcastically before letting him go and giving him a light nudge.<p>
of course jayla was kidding though, about it all. about wanted to shove alec to prove her sanity. even if that was the test, she’d rather be insane than hurt the boy next to her. she cared about alec, he was the guy she went to, to let herself rant. he always had been and he always would be. there was something about him that made her feel at ease. <b>“i could never actually shove you off.”</b> she told him, her head tilted to the side and she glanced over at him. <b>“i mean, you can be a bit annoying, but…”</b> she joked, her lips pursed.

<p>
<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 1190. <b>notes:</b> gah your posts are so GOOD i luv it... i luv YOU
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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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"well, it's a little late to avoid the insults but i appreciate the effort nonetheless," alec retorted, his voice matching jayla's sarcastic tone but his meaning sincere. he really did acknowledge and appreciate anybody's attempts to even slightly understand his passionate love for comic books. even he couldn't explain it or understand it completely- he had fully expected to grow out of the phase by the time he was fifteen. but here he was, stuck at the ripe age of twenty-two with no reasonable reason to still go as a superhero for halloween or list one as his inspiration on facebook and yet… he did.
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alec laughed lightly. he was well-aware that jayla was joking and were he not a fan of spending time in the kitchen, he would have probably turned her offer down- he knew that she was a good person without needing the proof of rainbows that were nonexistent anyways (unless she'd actually managed to open up a secret portal to some world where that sort of shit existed, in which case he wanted in in a heartbeat). and while he usually preferred real cooking to baking, he would have been more than happy to bake some cookies for jayla, especially if it meant another opportunity to spend some time hanging out with her, making up lost time or something of the sort. "chocolate chip or macadamia nut?"
<p>
alec smiled, in part to himself. "slacking off." that seemed to be the epitome of how other people viewed ninety percent of what he did with his life. alec begged to differ on that account most of the time- just because his goals in life weren't as well-definite as other people's and just because he didn't have his five-year plan as neatly outlined, printed and stapled as some of the other people in his borderline-neurotic town, it didn't mean that he didn't have any ambition. his just involved more free time for thinking and… not thinking? looking out into the empty park briefly, alec watched the fresh green leaves on the tree rustle in the light wind as he replied, "not much time for relaxing recently? i'll share and you can take some of it out of my schedule. for whatever reason, people tend to think that i've had too much."
<p>
alec faked a shiver, giving jayla a light poke on the shoulder. "i'm just webb now? i'm shivering in fear. i'll be sure to lock my windows tonight." in reality, alec knew that he really didn't have much to fear- or at least, he hoped not. it wasn't like she'd been diagnosed with some psychotic disease that caused complete changes in personality. sure, she could have mood swings but even at her lowest, alec seriously doubted that jayla could ever have the ill intent that would cause her to break into his house. besides, he lived on the second story and even climbing up this tree had been a bit of a clear struggle for jayla with the heights. he highly doubted that she was about to be scaling any exterior house walls. he turned his look of faux fear back into a smile as he accepted her compliment with a simple, "thanks.
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"yeah… i bet." alec tried to imagine what it would be like to have somebody tell you that you had any mental illness, even if it was something that wasn't as stigmatized as like… antisocial personality disorder or one of those other disorders that made people completely fly off the handle. of course, it would probably be different for him than the process had been for jayla. if he'd been diagnosed, his parents would have insisted on dragging him to some psychotherapist who had a reputation that was bigger than the state of new york and would make their publicists work overtime to make sure that it was never a story leaked to some skeezy magazine. thinking about it that way, alec was surprised to realize that he knew why jayla hadn't exactly sent out newsflashes to all of her friends about why she had disappeared. it would suck to have to deal with something that private in a public way. when his parents had broken up, it was all over the magazines so he'd experienced a fair amount of public humiliation of his own right. at least she had some control over who knew what- right?
<p>
sure, people would gossip. but people always did- that's how magazines kept up their profit margins. if gossip disappeared off the face of the planet, alec was certain that like fifty percent of the general population would spontaneously combust from boredom. you just had to ignore the gossipers and the people who were only interested in deflecting their own problems into ignorance while focusing on those of other people. and if jayla wanted a friend to help her do that, he would be here, if she'd take him. "i'm not gonna lie. i don't really know what you're going through but maybe you shouldn't think of it as being something you're stuck with. i mean, are you stuck with having a terrible sense of humor?" he grinned, trying to show her that he was kidding about the last part, despite his serious tone. "i guess you just have to think instead about it being just something that's a part of you and make it… you. there are ultimately worse things that you could be "stuck" with, right?"
<p>
alec felt a small smile slip onto his lips as jayla spoke, feeling her give him a light nudge. he knew that it couldn't be easy for her, especially with all of the prying that the canterbury tales liked to do. but he was glad that she could still find a place, even if a small one, to find something to be happy about in it. he leaned forward exaggeratedly, until he felt on the edge of actually tipping off the branch, though his grip on the one above his remained strong enough that he was confident that he wouldn't actually fall. he wondered vaguely if the branch above them would have held his weight if he tried to hang off it before he caught himself and focused again on the conversation at hand. jayla had finished speaking and he found himself looking over at her with a slightly different, more appreciative smile, glad that she understood him. trying to cheer her up, he nudged her back, saying, "well, thanks for that, i guess. i'm sorry that you don't find me as charming as i find myself but i'm glad that i haven't driven you so far as to want me gone completely."

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tag: jayla/nicole words: 1112 notes: stoppit i'm blushing. i love your posts. alec just wants her to smileeee

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;">jayla knew coming back to canterbury was going to be hard. she was no stranger to that stupid mtv show that the students went through, the gossip column and all of that. but the shitty part was that she thought she would be done with that once she got out of high school, but apparently they thought that they needed to concentrate on canterbury locals and stratton students. this was news to jayla and she was quite pissed when she found out. the number one thing she was looking forward to at her grade twelve high school graduation was to give a big fuck you to those stupid cameras and never have to deal with them again, apparently it wasn’t that easy, though. she was stuck with dealing with them and stuck with reading about herself and her friends. she just hoped and prayed that none of her shit got aired to people it didn’t need to be aired to (aka the entire town). it was a hard thing to deal with, living in a town where your secrets were secrets for the entire town, the entire world, to know. it wasn’t how she wanted to live her life. but her therapist said she shouldn’t move, not yet at least. she needed to remain in a familiar setting, and canterbury was home. she was comfortable and happy here. plus, as if jayla could ever go out and make new friends. that was pretty much mission impossible right there.<p>

she listened to alec talk for a moment and nodded. she had gone to him with her issues (though none as big as being diagnosed as bipolar) in the past, and sher knew she could continue to do so. she loved having that kind of support from him because it just made her feel cared about. he was that kind of friend that could make your problems seem not so bad, which is exactly what he was doing at this moment. <b>“i think it’s you who’s stuck with the terrible sense of humour.”</b> she said tilting her head to the side. she knew that wasn’t at all the point he was trying to make, so jayla fidgeted a bit with her hair, an anxious habit she picked up over the past six months. <b>“i guess you’re right. it’s not something i can help. it’s just frustrating. and the medication sucks and i’m just so negative about the whole thing. i can’t be positive, i don’t know why.”</b> it was true, jayla had attempted to put positive swings on her condition, but she preferred to pout and brood about the whole thing, that was more her speed. <b>“i’m like a moody teenager who likes to go into her room and blast rage music.”</b> she said with a sigh. she would love to get out of these negative moods, but she couldn’t. she had yet to figure out how.<p>
jayla looked over in a bit of shock as alec leaned forward on the trees branch. she knew they weren’t very high up, which meant the tress branches were thicker and any falls would cause minimal damage, but her heart still raced when he leaned forward as he did. she could see that he still had a firm grip on the branch above them but she still felt sick. she could feel anxiety rolling in her stomach and she took a couple of deep breaths. <b>“i don’t think you should do that… you know. just in case. okay?”</b> she hoped she didn’t sound too weird, treating him like a little kid. she felt kind of sick and she sucked in her bottom lip anxiously. <b>“i mean falling ten feet doesn’t seem very fun to me.”</b> and with saying that jayla crossed her arms over her chest.<p>
apart from the anxiety she was feeling, jayla was also feeling some sort of relief. it was a weird combination, not something that she was used to, but for some reason alec made her feel relieved (as well as anxious with his falling off the tree stunt). maybe it was just the fact that he brought back happy memories, and he just had something about him. jayla would never forget the calm and just all around goodness that alec could make her feel. he could always go to him when she felt off. that was the beautiful thing about their friendship, alec was just such an honest and genuine person, he was like a child in that sense. jayla knew she could go to him for a smile, he always made her smile. <b>“i don’t think there is a person in this world that thinks you’re as charming as you find yourself.”</b> she said offhandedly with a slight shrug. <b>“i’ll keep you around for as long as your useful.”</b> she told him thoughtfully. <b>“which pretty much means, once i get those chocolate chip cookies you’re cut.”</b> she told him, making a slicing motion, jokingly, by her neck.<p>
jayla let out a soft sigh and looked over at alec. she didn’t think he had changed much in the last six months. it was probably a bit more than six months since she had last seen him, but who was really counting? alec didn’t seem any different though. <b>“you seem the exact same, like not a thing has changed with you.”</b> she told him, continuing to look over him, analyze him. <b>“did anything interesting happen in your life while i was gone? no girlfriend i need to give my approval of?”</b> she joked with a slight smile. not that jayla would ever tell alec he couldn’t date someone, but she thought it would be weird if he was… that just seemed, in her opinion, wrong. not that she had any claim over alec and his dating life, but she had always had a slight soft spot for him. he was her go-to guy, not that anything would ever come out of it. friends was where she was comfortable, and friends is where she would stay. she was fine with that, because she didn’t want to have to deal with the drama of relationships. she had been in one relationship in her entire life and it didn’t work. she was too anxious, too insecure (not about her body, just in general) to hold down a healthy relationship. she didn’t mind though, there was nothing wrong with friendships. <b>“tell me all about your life!”</b>

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<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 1071. <b>notes:</b> SRY IF I REPEAT STUFF IM SO TIRED AND DNW 2 REREAD FORGIVE ME OH HOLY MAC :*
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<br><div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 8px; line-height: 91%; text-transform: uppercase; TEXT-ALIGN: JUSTIFY;"><i>NEVER GONNA GROW UP. NEVER GONNA SLOW DOWN. WE WERE SHININ' LIKE LIGHTERS IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROCK SHOW. WE WERE DOIN' IT RIGHT, COMIN' ALIVE.</i></div></div></td>

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alec bit back a smile at jayla's retort, trying to maintain a serious facade and knowing that now was his turn to listen rather than be listened to. in a lot of ways, jayla was the only person who could pull that quality out of him- most people, he didn't really listen to. but then, jayla had always treated him a little bit differently than the rest of his friends and acquaintances. he liked it. even when they were first introduced, she had treated him like… well, like what? like a normal person who didn't have a last name that was associated with his parents. maybe she hadn't made the connection at the time. or maybe she just didn't care. whichever it was, she'd always treated him like alec, the high school kid who just wanted ellison to have a better comic book club, not alec, the kid whose dad had several major acting awards under his belt. he liked it, because she treated him like who he actually was instead of who he was supposed to be.
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alec sighed softly when she finished, looking down at his feet as they dangled off the tree below him, trying to figure out what to say. he was pretty useless when it came to this sort of thing. he always had been and he figured he always would be. that was the problem when you usually just talked- when you actually had to think about what you were saying, you ran into problems. and he didn't really have anything to compare to to try to see her point of view. when it came down to it, he'd never had anything really bad ever happen to him. his parents' divorce wasn't bad, it was just inevitable and he'd been too young to really care. no, the worst thing that had happened to him was when he'd gotten stuck in paris on spring break with none of his cards working to withdraw money. what a tragedy. pursing his lips slightly in though, alec moved his gaze from the grubby tips of his sneakers to the face of the girl next to him. he gave a soft smile, hoping that even if the words that came out weren't right, he could convey that at least the emotion behind them was- or he hoped it was, anyways. "i can believe that. plus, i'm sure it was hard to think positively when you were cooped up and constantly reminded of that fact. but hey, the sun is shining and the grass is getting green again and now that you've returned to the land of the living, maybe you won't have to dwell on it as much." alec had no idea if any of this was helpful or if he was digging himself into a giant hole of asinine comments but he steamrolled forward anyways. "and i'll dig up some fun stuff and maybe we can just try to… i dunno, we can just act like it's all normal. and then things will become normal again." he groaned quietly. "i'm not helping things at all, am i?'
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alec felt his brows raise slightly as jayla asked him to stop monkeying around with the branch above him but he tried to rearrange them into an unassuming look again as quickly as possible. she had never had quite his sense of reckless impulsivity but he hadn't meant to upset her. leaning back, he released the branch above them and leaned back. "oh. sorry." but he couldn't help but add, in true form and with a wink, "i guess now would be a bad time to tell you about our skydiving plans."
<p>
his smile turned to an exaggerated pout though, and now it was his turn to cross his arms in mock indignation. resisting the urge to stick out his tongue, alec rolled his eyes instead. "there are lots of people who think i'm charming. go ask any paparazzi person in l.a. and they'll say, 'oh yes, alec webb, he's incredibly charming if you get over the general weirdness.'" actually, they would probably have nothing near that nice to say but that was the general trend of all their comments. really, alec didn't know what people actually thought of him- he never really bothered to ask most people, nor care about their responses when he did ask. while he cared what other people thought, he valued some opinions over others and one of those opinions was that of the girl sitting next to him. returning her jest, alec rubbed his neck thoughtfully. "you know, suddenly i don't feel quite so safe trapped out here on the end of the branch."
<p>
alec laughed before considering her next comment. had he changed at all in the last couple months? no, he was the exact same person. same roommates who all hated his cat and stole his comic books. same job where he interacted more with book pages than with actual people. hell, he even ate the exact same combination of lucky charms, toast and orange juice for breakfast. "oh boy, did you ever miss a bunch," he said sarcastically, trying to figure out the best way to respond. he settled for plain honesty, looking at jayla with a small shrug. "no, you didn't really miss much. i've mostly just been wreaking havoc on the population of canterbury, but that's always been the case." girlfriend? hah. that was a pretty funny joke. it wasn't as though he avoided girls at all, it was just that he was a bit of a nonbeliever in actual steady relationships. he didn't really have anybody in his life to model one off of and his parents' love lives had left him more than a little jaded when it came to that sort of thing. "and don't worry, no seals of approval needed. it's still just me and gertrude."

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tag: jayla/nicole words: 983 notes: urgh i'm sorry school sux this probably sux ~~and see his app for more on gertrude~~

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<div style="width: 340px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; line-height: 90%; color: #000; padding-bottom: 10px;">NEVER TOO SOON. OH, RECKLESS ABANDON LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING YOU. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A KISS , A CRY, OUR RIGHTS, OUR WRONGS. A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD, A MOMENT, A LOVE, A DREAM, ALOUD. SO STAY THERE CAUSE I'LL BE COMING OVER AND WHILE OUR BLOOD'S STILL YOUNG, IT'S SO YOUNG, IT RUNS AND WON'T STOP TIL IT'S OVER, WON'T STOP TO SURRENDER. SONGS OF DESPERATION I PLAYED THEM FOR YOU. ----
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<div style="width: 310px; text-align: justify; font-family: georgia; font-size: 9px; line-height: 95%; color: #000; padding: 10px; background-color: #f5f5f5; border-right: 10px solid #a2616a;"><div style="height: 250px; overflow: auto;">jay bit back a bit of a laugh and rolled her eyes dramatically at alec. she knew all about gertrude as she had seen ‘her’ at some of the parties she had been dragged along to. jayla never did enjoy going to parties, but if her small group of friends were going, she usually attempted to go as well. she would usually sit by herself with a bottle of water, or just hang out with her friends (again with a bottle of water). jayla had never been one for drinking due to the fact that she didn’t like it when she was out of control of her body. the one time, when she was fourteen, that she had gotten drunk with a girl she was friends with at the time, jayla had felt so shitty she vowed that she would never do it again. when you can’t control your moods on the best of days, you certainly didn’t want to make it harder on yourself by drinking. <b>“gertrude is a lucky lady.”</b> she joked, poking her tongue out at alec. <p>
jayla sighed uncomfortably, hating talking about herself and her condition. it was nice, yes, to finally have someone she could voice her problems with, but she still hated it. she felt exposed, and once again, out of control. with alec knowing the truth of her problem, straight from her mouth and not from some bullshit gossip crap, this meant it opened the doors for people knowing the truth. for people to hate her and to judge her. not that she ever really cared what people thought, in fact she had no idea why she was over analyzing this entire situation. maybe it was because she had been worried about something like this happening for a long time. people all turning against her and her being completely alone, forever. as much of a loner as jayla was, she didn’t want to be alone forever. she refused to end up bitter with one million cats, that wasn’t like her at all.<p>
jayla bit her lip and sighed. <b>“i should probably get back home. natalie, my roommate, is probably worried. i don’t normally leave…”</b> she paused, realizing she sounded like she needed a babysitter or something. she shook her head and let another sigh cross her lips. <b>“not… that she watches after me. she’s just a friend, you know?”</b> she looked at alex with an apologetic smile. <b>”it was nice to see you again. text me some time, you have my number.”</b> she told him, leaning over the tree. now she was regretting climbing this stupid thing. jayla some how managed to get herself out of the tree on her own, without alec having to catch her on the way down. she gave him a large grin, probably the biggest of the day, from the ground. <b>“guess i could do it all on my own, huh? see you later!”</b> jayla waved and walked in the direction she came, and made her way back home. she felt confused, excited, anxious… but jayla was used to that. but this was definitely something more, something she would need to learn to get used to.

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<b>tag:</b> alec/mac ! <b>words:</b> 500 something. <b>notes:</b> SUPER SHORT. LE FIN.
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