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<center><div class="cname">alec julien webb</div>
twenty-three | locals under 25 | august 16</center>
<li><b>born in:</b> los angeles, california.</li>
<li><b>came to canterbury:</b> at age 13 for school (10 years ago)
<li><b>important people:</b> simon webb [father, 65], anne novak [mother, 58] and marianne webb [half-sister, 28].</li>
<li><b>main goal in life:</b> to make a name for himself without help from his last name. </li>
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<br><b>other characters:</b> nik, lenny, leigh, theo and stephen.
<br><b>face claim:</b> daniel shaman.
<br><b>contact info:</b> pm or aim @ itsa_macattack
<center><div class="appstyle3">what's your home life like?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"just to clarify, which home life are we talking about- here or the one i grew up in?
"i grew up splitting time between living in l.a. with my dad and flying out to new york to stay with my mom. just the average life of the kid of a pair of celebrities, right? yeah, my dad is, you know... the
simon webb. trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be, being the son of a two-- three? is it three times now? whatever- being the kid of a multiple-time academy award winner and a woman who makes her living designing clothes is really not all that great. i spent my childhood bouncing around between the coasts. i would live with my dad when he wasn't working on a film, or when he could manage to take me to whatever location his latest film was shooting on, and when neither of those two applied, it was off to go spend time tromping around central park for eight hours a day while my mom played meryl streep to a bunch of frazzled anne hathaways... that metaphor doesn't really work, does it? meryl didn't design clothes. ah, it's close enough.
"probably the best times when i was younger were when my half-sister, marianne, was around. she's five years older than me and was a product of my dad's second marriage, you know, to that one actress with even more family connections than a sicilian mob boss? yeah, that one. i'm sure you heard about it, 'cause i guess it was all over the news. i wouldn't know, would i? since i wasn't born at the time. anyways, i'm sure you've heard of marianne too, since she's, you know, out there splitting time between charming every red carpet interviewer, making really shitty music (look, she's my sister and even i'll
tell you it's shit) and being the biggest public embarrassment to my dad that she can. she wasn't always the major headcase that she's become these days. when we were little, she was a ton of fun. she was the person who taught me to just have fun and to not care what anybody thinks- it was long after my dad sent me to ellison to finish out my basic education that she took her own words too seriously.
"now? well, i'm living in an apartment near stratton with a group of three other guys. trust me, it's just as much fun as it sounds. two of 'em are still going to school, and then me and the other guy all graduated about a year ago now.
"i think the easiest way to describe how that particular home life functions would be to just read off our list of house rules:
"clears throat. one- if you aren't planning on washing it, don't dirty a dish. use a paper plate. and those go in the trash, not the sink. two-
if anybody is studying for anything, no loud sex allowed. no girls when people are trying to study. three- if the food has a label on it, don't eat it. if you do anyways, replace it. four- banging down locked doors was only funny the first time. and five- no overwriting others' tv shows on the dvr with sportscenter every day.
"yeah, that sums it up pretty nicely. when you live in a house with four guys in it, you have to lay down a few ground rules or all hell breaks loose. we tried it for a couple months last summer when we all first moved in but that was just a disaster. but otherwise, our house actually functions pretty well. everybody cooks about twice a week... or, everybody is responsible for providing food twice every eight days. for some people, that just means ordering pizza again. we're a great group of friends and they're all tight, so ever when life can be a little dysfunctional at times, i wouldn't trade them for anything."
<center><div class="appstyle3">are you happy with where you work or would you rather work elsewhere?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"i freakin' love where i work. i work as a clerk for that little bookstore on main street, just past the bakery. if i didn't love it, i wouldn't be doing it. i could last for ages on the checks that i get every month from my dad. or i could go try my hand out at acting, you know... live up to the family tradition. but for now, let's just leave it at the fact that i'm not really the hollywood type.
"but yes, to answer your question, i love my job. it was initially just something to pass the time during the summer after i graduated from stratton while i waited to hear back from some of the newspapers that i applied to in new york. but that was right before my sister had her latest meltdown and when that happened, i sort of decided that staying in canterbury a little while longer wouldn't be all that bad. because i wasn't about to walk into the kind of environment that messes with peoples' heads like that willingly... that stopped when i was eight. but! more to the point, i went out to california for a few months to help marianne out with getting her shit straight and when i came back, this job was still here and i love it.
"have you ever smelled a new book? or heard that crack that you hear when you open one for the first time? i live for that stuff. i've read all of the american classics- from fitzgerald to twain!- but they're not really my cup of tea. and nor are the british classics, even though i've read my fair share of austen and dickens. no, i love science fiction. and comic books. but they don't really sell many comic books where i work. so i settle for perusing the totally quality scifi section that we have instead. most of it, i've gone through already but there's always something new out there to read."
<center><div class="appstyle3">what are five words that describe you? explain.</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">[the first words that might come to mind for an unbiased observer would be spoiled, distractable, dorky, dedicated and animated. even though alec plays it down, he wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of his life and he could live quite comfortably off his father's money. and even if he tries to play it down, it still shows up in his actions.]
"already bored with this interview? [counts off on hand.]
that's five words, right? nah, i'm just kidding- no, really, i'm joking! okay, let's see here, i guess i would have to go with insecure, impulsive, nerdy, funny and ambitious.
"remember what i said about not really being the hollywood type? yeah, i guess you could say that this is where that might be appropriate to mention. i am a grade a nerd. no, really, do you want an example? here's two good ones. when i was twelve, i built a scale model of the nebulon ranger out of legos. by the way, that's the starship used by a trio of jedis to rescue princess galia on onderon. it shows up in a couple of the star wars comic strips. as for the second thing, i definitely stole all of the star trek promotional posters from the movie theater when that came out... if you were wondering where they went, it was me. they're hanging on my wall next to some posters for the original series. oh, and if you ever want to play some good old nintendo 64 games... just give me a call and prepare to lose, bitch. yep.
"and that look that you gave me when i said i was insecure... what? do you really find it so hard to believe that i could be not one hundred percent confident in myself? look, my dad has won multiple academy awards. my mom is a hella intimidating woman who spends most of her time yelling at people and exuding extreme levels of confidence. and marianne, for all her flaws, is gorgeous and charming and you can bet that all the paparazzi love her. and i'm just sort of... here. people in my dad's world liked me when i was five because i was cute and funny but then i grew up and my sense of humor never matured so i became awkward and barely entertaining enough to care. it's why i'm still hiding in canterbury almost ten years after i started to go to high school here. even though i love it here, i don't really have anywhere else to go.
"in my own defense though, just because i don't really want to go become a star prowling the red carpets of los angeles, it doesn't mean that i have zero ambition. i actually have a fair amount of it. i like to win, i like to do
things. i just don't always know what i want to do. once i pick something out though, watch out, 'cause i'm going to do it and do it well. once i built a birdhouse just because somebody bet me i couldn't. i doubt any bird that wasn't blind would want to live in it but that's pretty much beside the point."
<center><div class="appstyle3">if you could live in any era, when would you live? why?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"the uplift period from david brin's uplift series. how cool would it be to be walking around talking to dolphins and chimpanzees like it was no big deal? and shooting around the galaxy discussing various intergalatic problems with other sentient beings? i mean, come on.
that would be so tight.
"but, no, seriously, i would go into the future, maybe circa 2500, to see what sort of awesome technology they have. i mean, let's look at this logically. i already know about what happened in the past. i can read about that in a history book. and no, reading about it isn't the same as actually living it, but you can still get a sense of what living in the past would have been like in all these different eras. besides, i would have been screwed over in most of them anyways. revolutionary period? go fight in the american revolution. civil war period? go fight for this war instead. early 1900's? get drafted for the freakin' world wars. i feel like, despite a lot of the gender inequalities, when you look at it from a different perspective, you could say that the past couple hundred years would be a great way for somebody my age to get themselves killed.
"so i might as well take my chances and head a couple hundred years in the other direction, right?
"the only thing that would change my mind would be that... i dunno. it's kind of cool to dream, isn't it? like, with everything that could happen in the next five hundred years, it's basically up to my entire imagination to believe whatever could happen could actually, you know, happen. there's all these different stories with all these different ideas for the future and while some of them are kind of out there, but you just never know. and i think it'd be kind of sad to ruin that, no matter how cool it would be to visit the future."
<center><div class="appstyle3">is there anybody special in your life?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"yes. her name is gertrude and she's glorious. i mean, we go almost everywhere together and she's the total life of the party... it's just so much fun to be around her. um, what else? she's about two inches tall and- is two inches the same size of a standard shot glass? [grins.]
"no, sadly, the steadiest relationship i've had in my life of the romantic sort has been with my rubik's cube, franco. if anything, all of my girlfriends have been jealous of my intimate knowledge of all of franco's ins and outs. noooo. okay, i'm sorry. this is just a question that i have a very hard time taking seriously.
"can you blame me? my dad has been married three times and everybody who's read the tabloids knows that his fourth is impending. we'll see if he can break his record of seven years with my mom but i highly doubt it- his work is his real marriage. my mom never remarried because, unlike him, she's realized that her work is going to take priority over any of the men in her life. and then i've watched my sister's relationships in and out of the tabloids through the years... she's had quite some interesting partners, hasn't she? and even though i like to try to be as invisible as possible, random people still seem to care about my life and i'd rather them not. and i guess that being on canterbury tales doesn't really help the issue but let's be real, it's the most invisible that i can be in my family. so all in all? it's just easier to not really have very many attempts at a steady relationship. there may be a certain girl that has caught my eye around town but hell if i'm going to tell you who she is- let's be real, you probably already know anyways.
"however! if you happen to spot liv tyler around, let me know because i worship the ground she walks on and she caused the biggest nerdgasm that i've had since watching carrie fisher grace my screen for the first time when i was six."
<center><div class="appstyle3">never have i everů</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"oh, i love this one! it's so much fun. but do i get to ask a question for every question that you ask? i'll give you my top three for your top three.
"never have i ever been embarrassed to pick up my pictures from wal-mart because i remembered what was on that roll. you laugh, but you'd be amazed at what problems some of my friends have run into over the years while trying to pick up their pictures from wal-mart. it's why the advent of the digital camera was such a blessing. because now people can take photos like that and just it wind up on facebook- which is somehow less embarrassing? i don't get it at all.
"never have i ever been in the hospital. nope, not ever! knock on wood. [taps his chair lightly.]
i've never broken a bone or had to have any sort of surgery. hospitals give me the heebie-jeebies. like, do you know how many people never come out of those places? like, that's really depressing, i'll give you that, but it still just freaks me out. i'm pretty sure i willed
my tonsils to get better when my dad was considering having me get a tonsillectomy when i was little. there was no way i was going to let them get me that easily.
"and lastly, never have i ever not gone as a superhero for halloween since the age of five, when i started to choose my own costume. that's seventeen years' worth of superhero costumes. i've been batman six times, superman and spiderman three times each, the flash twice, and captain america, the green monster and iron man once each. so that's sixteen years and then when i was thirteen and feeling rebellious, i went as loki because i thought that being the bad guy was badass. yeah, who was i kidding, nobody likes the bad guy unless he's played by heath ledger."
<center><div class="appstyle3">are you more of a dog or cat person?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"i'm more of a duck person."
"um, i love them both equally! dogs are just a ton of fun and are kind of like the sidekick that every superhero has to have. cats are great because they don't need as much attention but will still give you attention, at least when they want one themselves. so, really, i'd want one of both to balance each other out nicely.
"right now, i own a cat. we don't really have space with four guys for a dog. it would get a ton of exercise all the time but the house is just too damn chaotic for one. but one of my roommates owns a hedgehog named osteo (he's a lock for med school, okay?) and i have a cat who kind of hates us all but hates me less because i feed her and don't kick her out of my room at night. she used to be a stray and would just hang around my apartment in college and i finally felt poorly enough for her that i brought her inside and fed her. and she just kind of never left. she's a tuxedo cat, you know, black with the white markings? but yeah, i think she's about six and her name is dax. i'll let you figure out where that comes from."
<center><div class="appstyle3">what is a secret about you?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"shhh, why are you talking so loudly? don't you know that secrets are something that you only tell one person at a time?
"i don't really have many that i can think of? it's not like my family has some deep, dark secret that we're hiding from the press. and i haven't exactly done something that would be the type of thing that you keep a secret.
"i guess that the closest thing i have to a secret would be something more like a fact about me that i don't really make public knowledge? and it's more like something i would change that's a secret because i would feel... judged? yeah. i feel like the kinds of people that i've made friends with here in canterbury sort of dissociate me from where i come from and i feel like if i admitted that i wished that i could fit in to the hollywood atmosphere a little bit more, some of them might judge me. i mean, i'll be the first to admit that i hate the people who come from the same type of background as me and rub it in your face and go to all the posh parties and all that shit. but for once, it'd be nice to get into a v.i.p. party on the basis that people actually liked me instead of my last name.
"by people, i mean those
people. not people here because, sure, at first, even here the reason that i was friends with everybody was because of my last name but that changed in time. i have genuine friends here. i just wish that i had a couple more people who appreciated my... ah... quirks
<center><div class="appstyle3">what's your favorite color? why?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"it's a toss-up between red and yellow. when i was little, i idolized jason lee scott and he was the original red power ranger so red was an automatic favorite. but as time has passed, i've sort of grown into the color yellow. it's a very... fun color. you just can't feel upset when you're looking at yellow. it's like that little trick we learned in intro to psych- if you put a pen between your teeth to activate the zygomatic muscles involved in smiling, you automatically feel better. yellow is kind of like that."
<center><div class="appstyle3">what are some of your hobbies?</div></center><p><div style="padding: 0 5 5 5px">
"i'll rattle off a list of them for you, then? in case you hadn't noticed, i'm a giant nerd. so i collect, avidly, comic books and movies. the gem of my collection is a batman comic book from 1946, seven years after his original debut. and i could whoop yo ass at any mario game that's made its debut in the past fifteen years. but you're probably bored of hearing about this stuff, so i'll move on to some of my less boring hobbies:
"i collect fortunes from fortune cookies. i have two shoeboxes full of them. the first is where they go when i first get them. the second is where they go when they come true. every now and then when i'm really bored or drunk or both, i'll go through the first box trying to find ones that i think have come true in some way. then they get a big red mark, occasionally actually legible, that says when they happened. you'd be shocked- they come true! i don't even remember when i started doing it... probably sometime in high school, i'd guess? but i've been doing it ever since. you know it's bad when you start to find duplicates of the same fortune.
"i like to cook. it's something that i picked up from my mom, i guess, because that's the one thing she actually had time to do with me. we'd usually cook breakfast before she left for work and then we'd cook dinner together a couple times a week. cooking coincides nicely with my other favorite hobby of eating. i like food. a lot. i like to eat it. and eating food that's good-tasting is a lot more fun than eating food that's gross. i'd have to say that my favorite things to cook are waffles, because they're so versatile and you can do all sorts of fun things with them, and indian food. weird, right? but you'd be surprised. i can make a mean curry vindaloo.
"oh. and i have a bad habit of collecting terrible pun jokes. wanna hear one? what's a cannibal, actually? somebody who is fed up with people!"