24 Exposed

They're always so funny.

I guess I know how to make fun of them.

Episode: The Meeting Part One


Kiefer: The following is a real meeting about the beginning of 24's Third Season.

*Kiefer, Sarah, Carlos, Reiko, Elisha, sit waiting for the 24 crew to show up*

Kiefer: Anyone know what this meeting is about

Sarah_Wynter/Kate Warner: I have no idea

Reiko/Michelle: Nope nothing here

*24 Producers walk over to the cast*

Producer: Today, we're going to tell you where your characters will be
doing the first 3 epis OH MY GOD! Elisha! What the hell did you do to your hair!

Elisha: I grew bangs over the break.

Producer: Well, Cut it off! You look like the Dinosaurs' crap from Jurassic Park!

*Elisha looks confused*

*Awkward Silence*

Producer: Anyway, um, In this meeting we'll tell you what will happen to your character during the first episodes.

*Producer looks at clipboard*

Producer: *points at Jack* You will get addicted to drugs.

Kiefer: Aw! Great! Now, I can incorporate real-life experience into my acting!

*cast stares at Kiefer*

Kiefer: I mean uh, *sweats*

Producer: *points at Elisha* You'll bang Jack's Partner.

Elisha: Aw Great! Who's the guy I'm dating

*Mia Kirshner walks in*

Mia: I am!

Elisha: oh.....

Reiko: What am I doing?

Producer: You?

*Producer searches through clipboard*

*Producer stops and bites his lip*

Producer: I guess we forgot to make you a subplot.

Producer: Oh, don't worry. We'll get you something.

Reiko: We start filming in a half-hour.

Producer: We've pulled stuff out of our asses before. Remember that amnesia storyline.

*FLASHBACK*

*Dr. Parslow and Teri stand in a room*

Teri: I don't want to go to a hospital!

Dr. Parslow: Then where do you want to go?

Teri: Hey! Nothing can go wrong with a dark alley full of lesbian-woman-prostitutes/rapists!

Dr. Parslow: Geez, no wonder your husband hit you.

*BACK TO PRESENT TIME*

The flashbacks are not what actually happened in the show. I'll be using them much more frequently as the fanfic goes on. I want to get this section of the forum up and running, so I'm going to start making a lot of fanfics.

Lmao! Oh Hendrix, that's just great. A wonderful read.

Episode: The Meeting Part Two



Kiefer: The following is the rest of the meeting that we didn't want to show you yesterday because *someone* was too lazy to write it.

Producer: This season is definitely going to take place in more exotic locations.

*FLASHBACK*

*At CTU*

Kim: WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYWORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Chase gasps*

*Chase calls someone on his cell phone*

Chase: You need to leave there now, she's on to us.

Minnie Mouse: I can't believe you haven't told her about us!

*BACK TO PRESENT TIME*

Elisha: Wait! What happened about me being lesbian?

Producer: Oh, that was just to fool the spoiler junkies

Kim: DON’T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU SON OF A B! TCH!!!!!!!!

*Elisha stabs Producer continuously with a knife*

*cast stares*

*Elisha goes to a rageaholics meeting*

*Janitor Scruffy sweeps away the dead carcass of the Producer*

*Ron Howard walks in*

Ron Howard: Hi, I’m the replacement of the Producer

*The cast stares*

Sarah: I don’t understand.

Ron Howard: I’m a producer of this show, I’m just not credited.

Sarah: How come we haven’t seen you around the set?

Sarah: How come no one has ever mentioned you?

Sarah: Shouldn’t Kiefer know you, he’s an executive producer?

Sarah: How did you know Elisha killed the producer?

*Ron Howard shoots Sarah*

*the cast stares*

Ron Howard: We’ll just say we fired her.

*the cast stares*

Ron Howard: Geez, you people sure do stare a lot.

Carlos: God damn it! I won’t be part of a show depicts society in such a violent manner. Timmy gonna be watching television then BOOM!!!! He says Jack Bauer cutting off a teenage boy’s head with a hacksaw! WELL NOT ANYMORE, TIMMY!!!!!!!!!

*Carlos sues 24*

Ron Howard: Where the hell did that come from?

*Kiefer sweats*

*FLASHBACK*

*Two hours earlier at water cooler*

Kiefer: You know, Now, that I think about it.

Kiefer: Our show is kind of violent

Carlos I guess it is.

Carlos: It could give a bad influence on kids.

*Carlos fills his cup full of water*

*Elisha walks by*

Elisha: YOU’RE TAKING TOO MUCH WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Elisha stabs Carlos continuously with a knife*

*BACK TO PRESENT TIME*

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! That is just TOO funny!

Why do my Kim/Chase ones always make you laugh the most?

They're always so funny.

24 Exposed will return Thursday.

rofl!! nice story so far!! especially the elisha stabbing bits

lol this is hilararious!!!!!!!!! i love the elisha parts!!!! they are sooo funny!!!!!

I'm writing episode 3 as we speak. It should be up in about a half-hour.

Episode: Pre-Filming Episode 1

*Ron Howard walks on to the set and towards the cast (excluding Elisha)*

Ron Howard: Well, it seems as if Carlos isn’t backing down with this lawsuit.

Ron Howard: So….we replaced him with a new actor.

Ron Howard: Meet the new Tony Almeida….

Reiko: *crosses fingers* Please let it be Vin Diesel *rocks and back and forth* Vin Diesel! Come on!

Ron Howard: Jar Jar Binks!

Reiko: Aw, crap.

Jar Jar Binks: Oy oy ets pegin this jurney

Kiefer: What the hell did he just say?

Dennis: oy, me no no

*Someone knocks on the door*

*Ron Howard opens the door*

Elisha: Hi, I’m all wet, can I come in.

Ron Howard: Well, I’ve had kind of bad luck when I have women come into my set.

*FLASHBACK*

*Ron Howard walks up to a woman*

Ron Howard: Hi!

Woman: Hi!

*Ron Howard’s cell phone rings*

Ron Howard: Oh, sorry. I have to take this call.

*Ron Howard takes the call*

Ron Howard: Hello

Boss: You’re fired

Ron: Aw, Crap!

*BACK TO PRESENT TIME*

Ron Howard: Aw man! I forgot to introduce our other new cast mate.

Ron Howard: He plays Chase Exen.

Reiko: Exen! What kind of a dumb name is Exen!

Elisha: I hate the name Exen!

Kiefer: Oh My God! That Sucks!

Dennis: Yo Yo Yo, What’s going on in your hiz house dog! Mistakes are brewing in teapot!

*Ron Howard is speechless*

Ron Howard: Anyway, Exen...

*Kiefer throws a beer bottle at Ron Howard*

Kiefer: WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!

Ron Howard: Anyway, Chase is played by…..

Ron Howard: Charlie Brown!!!!!!!!!

*Charlie Brown walks in*

Charlie Brown: Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reiko: Hey! I’ve acted with you before!

*FLASHBACK*

Reiko: I’m serious! I won’t move the ball!

Charlie: Are you sure! Can I trust you?

Reiko: Yes you can

*Charlie runs*

*Reiko moves the ball*

*Charlie Falls*

*Charlie shoots Reiko*

*BACK TO PRESENT TIME*

Reiko: I had a patch on my neck for a week.

Ron Howard: Hey, that gives me an idea

*Ron Howard smiles at Jar Jar Binks*

jar jar!! rofl!!! another brilliant piece of work!!

Charlie Brown!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!! That cracks me up so much!! Mostly because of what else they say on TWoP but I love this part:
Kiefer: What the hell did he just say?

Dennis: oy, me no no

LMAO.